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March 17, 2003
jake gyllenhaal cries, "pussywillow"*
on saturday i went and saw agent cody banks in the theatre. and so did a whole busload of tards. ok i am not against that they came to see the movie, because that would be like drowning a small kitten in a weighted bag. in a dirty river. but not the ankh, cause then the bag would just rest on top. i am just saying. theatre full of tards. me. some REALLY AGGRAVATING KID WHO CLUNG TO THE BACK OF MY SEAT, JUMPING UP AND DOWN AND REPEATING, "AGENT CODY BANKS! CODY BANKS!"
why is it that society rules you can't touch another person's kid? what the fuck is up with that? seriously. i mean the temptation to turn around smack the kid and shove him into a sitting position in his own goddamn seat should have been my RIGHT as a moviegoer. but i probably would have been kicked out of the theatre and/or arrested for child harrasment. that just ain't right.
i was also thinking over the weekend about child abduction. not doing it myself. but how it seems to be a lot more prevalent lately. actually that's probably not true, but they have instigated that thing on the freeway with the signs proclaiming, "child abduction, brn datsun make, model, year, liscence plate info." there was one on friday. and one last monday. and one last month. and 1) it slows down the already slow morning and evening traffic, which aggravates me. and 2) it makes me have to look around for specific cars so i can do my duty as a good samaritan. so i was thinking... why don't we implant little devices in all children as soon as they're born?, much like the tracking number things they put in animals at the vet so if they get lost they're easier to recognize as yours again when they're picked up. only for kids, we could do a combination of a tracking number, a tracking device with gps locating AND one of those alarm systems for when the object goes out of the boundary of a certain area. like the fenceless dog collars only without the electric shock. and then when the kid reaches a certain age, i'm thinking 16 since when you're old enough to drive, you're old enough to go places by yourself and get abducted if you want to.
i can see how lots of people wouldn't agree with this plan. i mean there's the whole thing about how then the government could keep too close of an eye on where we are at all times. but at least then when they get napped, they might be easier to find. for a little while. until the captors start digging around under the skin to find thier implanted devices. especially if some dumb ass decides to put everyone's in the same place. then it would just be too easy. it's just a thought.
*on the commentary of moonlight mile:
jake gyllenhaal impersonating the director: "Get the...get the....will you just...? More pussywillows! more pussywillows! no! more!... hold it. no.... cut cut cut! could we just get more pussywillows?"
dustin hoffman: "that's a great title for your autobiography."
Posted by michele at March 17, 2003 10:03 AM
Comments
ha ha.
http://www.wherifywireless.com/prod_watches.htm
that’s what i’m talking about. only EMBEDDED IN THE SKIN.
Posted by: michele at March 17, 2003 11:00 AM
Re: touching other people’s children:
A few weekends ago, we had an incident at the unnamed science center where I work. The ever-popular semi-scientific display where kids can shoot jets of water at plastic balls was the scene of the crime. A kid, about 11, who had some sort of developmental problem(s), was hogging the jets. A big line had formed. One of the nearby dads tried to suggest that he give someone else a turn, then explicitly asked if the boy would yield his place in line. The kid refused, and a minute later, said dad took his elbow, and moved him away from the spot.
So the kid claimed to have been grievously injured, though he was unbruised/marked/etc., and his mom was whipped into an angry fit which lasted three hours. That’s not exaggeration: she took her kids home, returned to the museum, called the cops, and attempted to file charges.
So maybe the kids can get an implant tracking device, but also a little electrode that shocks them if they’re clogging up a line.
Side note: Michele, that’s what you get for going to see frickin Agent Frickin Cody Frickin Banks.
Posted by: Sean at March 17, 2003 12:34 PM
Throwing society’s rules to the dogs, I fully support your urge to shove the movie theatre kid. I think it should be well within your rights. I will also go on record as fully supportive of your tracking device and/or shock collar ideas. Tard or no tard, hogging the jets after you’ve been asked to move is beyond the pail. Plus, I think there should be some sort of large stick to hit those insane mothers with. Hit them many, many times.
About jake gyllenhaal - he’s absolutely adorable and I loved Moonlight Mile. Is this the DVD commentary you are referring to?
Posted by: kati at March 17, 2003 03:27 PM
yup dvd commentary. yup. LOVE him. oh so cute. and a good actor too. droolworthy AND droolworthy. plus. he yells cool things on dvd commentaries like “pussywillows!” and on that other dvd, on donnie darko, which jacob knows and told me once but which i have forgot. jacob!
Posted by: michele at March 17, 2003 03:34 PM
Gene made me listen to Jake’s excellent Christopher Walken impression on the commentary track for “Donnie Darko.”
Posted by: Sean at March 17, 2003 04:43 PM
1.oh my god, could you just imagine what kind of pissed off 15 year olds would be? “yes, mom, i’m at the library.” “oh really? well, according to your tracking device, you’re doing god knows what on cindy bartholomew’s bed!”
2.as for the signs on the freeway, it’s a pretty new system, so i don’t think it’s that more kids are being abducted, but that we’re more aware of them what with the flashing it all over the freeway. but apparently it really works.
3.JAKE GOOGLYMOOGLY I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!
Posted by: erica at March 17, 2003 05:29 PM
the road system is called the amber alert, which the smart family man is a serious advocate of. but it’s not all that new. i saw one a couple of years ago too. it’s just that lately they are using them MORE. and i think it is a good thing, for the record. and i do believe it works. i wonder though, how long before we become desensitized to the flashing lights and don’t even pause to read it on the commute anymore. then they’ll have to come up with something NEW.
Posted by: michele at March 17, 2003 05:45 PM
Posted by: dianna at March 18, 2003 08:52 AM
OK, first of all, that was really me. Second of all, HTML still isn’t allowed, to the link is here
http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_761854.html
Posted by: Jacob at March 18, 2003 08:53 AM
Posted by: michele at March 18, 2003 09:07 AM
tobey with back problems! oh no! but mmmm jake as spiderman.…maybe this one will be better than the stupid first one!
Posted by: michele at March 18, 2003 09:08 AM
Yeah, maybe Jake Mooglygoogly will make it a darker and less lame movie. That would be the only difference i could see since they’re the same person.
Posted by: jason at March 18, 2003 09:25 AM
Posted by: jason at March 18, 2003 09:26 AM
shut your mouth jason. they’re not the same person. one’s gay for example and the other is not.
i liked daredevil. i liked the fight scenes. the rest of it—ptooey. but the fighting was good.
Posted by: michele at March 18, 2003 09:32 AM
Daredevil was doomed from the start with the casting of Ben Affleck. I am with Jason in seeing no serious difference in the Maguire-Gyllenhaal switch, since they are sort of the same person (I like Jake better) and Tobey Maguire didn’t drag Spider Man down, Sam Raimi did. The only memorable visual in the whole film is the upside-down kiss. Also, the crappy special effects didn’t help. “It’s an animated red blur swinging across the city! Wow! Look out, Goblin!”
Posted by: sean at March 18, 2003 10:34 AM
Posted by: michele at March 19, 2003 08:34 AM
Posted by: jason at March 19, 2003 10:56 AM
Posted by: kenon at September 27, 2005 03:06 PM