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April 21, 2004
gastronomically
so far today i have received two extraordinarily religious closings by email. one was a forward which ended in "If you delete this, it's okay: God's Love Is Not Dependent On E-Mail." (i left the extremely delightful punctuation as written.) the other was an email which instead of "Sincerely," or something equally humdrum/professional said, "Yours in Christ,".
i am distressed by this 1) because WHY is god's love not based on email? and 2) *IN* christ? why would i want to be *IN* him? i could maybe understand/grasp the physiological possiblity of being with the email-dood in the worship of christ, or basking in the love of christ. but just inside his innards? that's just not ok. and also gross. do you ever think that maybe this world is just like god's colon or something and then i guess it would make sense. or not. and why the colon anyway? i don't know.
also these two emails contradict sort of. the love of christ that i'm supposed to be sharing with the second guy is dependent on the email he sent me, after all. without the email we never would have connected. and in that horrid jim carey movie where he plays god after morgan freeman steps down, JC (HAH!) gets all these prayers by email from the believing world. i'm just saying...well, ok i don't know what i'm saying because now i'm mostly just too delighted by jim carey's initials.
Posted by michele at April 21, 2004 12:45 PM
Comments
well they couldn’t really say: “Yours ON Christ”. That would just be wrong.
and “Yours By Christ” doesn’t really work either (unless you intend to be emphatic, i spose)
if it was to be kept professional, i’d say the only option is: Yours c/o Christ
(hmm…but as it is an email, it’s really c/o the internet service provider and christ had nothing to do with it at all.) ok i’ll stop rambling now.
Posted by: jade at April 21, 2004 01:02 PM
Unfortunately, Michele, I think they do mean IN the body of Christ. It was one of Paul’s more unfortunate metaphors after Jesus died: the church is the body of Christ. Really, most of the absurd and horrible things about Christianity are Paul’s fault. He was God’s PR and CEO of the franchise on Earth, and boy did he run with it. Artistic license galore.
Posted by: Christine at April 22, 2004 09:01 AM
Michele, everyone knows that God’s love is not based on e-mail. It’s based on attractiveness.
I always interpreted that second one as Yours in (our shared worship of) Christ. (At least, I thought about it that way when I wasn’t busy mocking the person who wrote it.) Now that I know it’s actually literal…ew.
Posted by: jenny at April 22, 2004 01:15 PM
I don’t know. I think it depends on your version of “in”. Christ was kinda hot in a crunch, granola, hippie sort of way. I’m sure there are a few people who wouldn’t mind being “in” christ. ;-)
Posted by: Clint at April 22, 2004 01:42 PM
I think that they mean “Yours in Christ” they just forgot to put love in it. It should say “Yours love in Christ”, although that makes less sense after I typed it. Maybe it should just say “Christ Loves You” or “You’ll Burn in Hell for deleting this email.”
Posted by: James at April 28, 2004 04:57 PM