Nyataimori

I’m never coming to your house again. And the thing about the urban-myth-style spiders bursting out of your neck gives me the screaming (and hopping around compulsively brushing imaginary spiders off of my skin and hair) heebie jeebies. Aaaaagh.

you never come to my house now, dianna.

dood, you can totally see the scar on my arm from the tempura deep fry accident. the one that was like crispy chicken skin when it started to break and ooze. you remember. you were grossed out by that too.

Mmmm. Tempura Michele.

Okay, you’re right. But if there are black widows in your garage I’ve got a better excuse for never coming to your house.

YEAH! I checked yes. Why not, besides the fact that most of them range from boring to desperate to inane to offensive?

well, because, aliens.

i seem to be having the same panicked reaction to this that i have when i use my finger to write something in the air. when i do that i have to immediately erase it with my flat palm so that invisible spies can’t find me thru it and eat out my brain. aliens, to me, are much like invisible spies, and sending text into space is much like writing in the air that YOU CAN‘T ERASE.

I just wrote in the air, “Michele is afraid of aliens.” For the right price I could be induced to erase it.

luckily, (for me), they can only find me thru my own finger writing, not yours.

Curses! Foiled in my own con attempt!

Your clever counterplot has saved you… probably a plate of cookies. I can’t remember the last time I tried to extort anyone to the tune of anything more than that.

my clever counterplot has also saved you then because in revenge i would no doubt have filled the cookies with eggs and butter and claimed they were vegan.

wide sad shocked eyes

trembly lower lip

brimming tears

Would you really do that to me?

probably.

i wouldn’t do it normally. but if i was really, really mad, i might.

lesson learned here: never accept home-made anything from me. i am vicious, cruel, and unforgiving when provoked.

You are. See if I give you cookies tomorrow, you sneaky vicious cruel tempura-fried person.

Cookie cookie cookie cookie cookie cookie. What kind of cookies should I be making, anyway? I just did oatmeal peanut butter cinnamon. Chocolate chocolate chip? Cranberry oatmeal walnut? Chocolate-covered coffee bean?

Chocolate chocolate chip cookie chip cookies?

I had a lot of sugar at lunch and I don’t want to be at work anymore.

i didn’t have a lunch and i don’t want to be at work anymore.

i vote against anything incorporating cranberries or coffee. but since you want to punish me now, you should prob make those. you could, in fact, combine coffee flavored cranberries into a cookie somehow and make me retch in disgust.

blech, i’m leaving work.

Can I leave work? I so don’t want to be here today…sigh

But you’d be fine with chocolate chip cookie chip cookies, then?

not only do i leave work but i also then bought cookies at the store! yum.

yes, dianna, that would be fine.

Okay, I just need to invent chocolate chip cookie chips, then.