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April 27, 2005
KDJ's bodyguard Part 2: Being a Bag-check Girl is a Slight Let-down.
University of San Francisco
Kim Dae Jung Visit and Award Ceremony
3:48pm--Preparation
Head Worker: Put a golf pencil on each chair.
Michele: ...
Head Worker: Where'd she go?
Volunteer: She ran off with the golf pencils.
Michele: MUAH-HA-HA-HA!!
4:00pm--Assigned a Station
Head Worker: Just take their bags and put the clothespin on it and give them the other one.
Michele: Yeah, it's not rocket science, I think I've got it.
Guest: Do I have to give you my bag?
Michele: Yes. Is your wallet in this pocket?
4:12pm--Trouble Arises
DIC: Have you heard any ticking?
Michele: Ha. Ha. Ha.
DIC: Keep up the good work.
Ninja: What a dick.
4:33pm--I Decide to Organize the Bags by Number
Volunteer: Are you a little anal?
Ninja: Ninja Face Explosion Kick!
Volunteer: My nose!
Michele: Thanks, Ninja.
Ninja: Anything for you, Michele.
4:52pm--The Ninja and I Decide to Elope
Ninja: Do you want to get married?
Michele: Do you think my hat is stupid?
Ninja: No.
Michele: Yes.
5:47pm--Released to Attend Lecture
Father Privett: blah blah blah, my hero.
Kim Dae Jung: Germany blah blah Germany blah Germany! blah blah blah Germany.
Translator: I lead a double life.
Ninja: The tension is killing me.
Michele: I really have to pee.
7:01pm--Giving Back Bags
Michele: I totally didn't steal anything.
Guest: What?
Michele: From your bag. I didn't rifle through it.
DIC: Do I hear ticking?
Guest: I've been framed!
Michele: (the sound of rapidly disappearing footsteps, maniacal laughter, and the rattling of a box of golf pencils.)
7:33pm--My Life is Complete
Krysten: Excellent, Michele! Do you want all these left-over petit-fours and a flower arrangement?
Michele: YES.
Ninja: Super Sweet.
Posted by michele at April 27, 2005 09:05 AM
Comments
Posted by: jason s at April 27, 2005 02:31 PM
heh. just in case it isn’t clear or you haven’t known her for the past ten years, michele steals golf pencils religiously. when i see one and she’s not around, i steal it on her behalf because i know how important it is to her. also, she religiously marries ninjas. when i see one and she’s not around, i marry it on her behalf because i know how important it is to her.
in conclusion, nod (and kick).
Posted by: didofoot at April 27, 2005 02:32 PM
I want golf pencils! They’re eminently stealable. For one, it’s cool when you’ve used a pencil so much that it’s been worn down to a little short stub and golf pencils are a cheater shortcut to that coolness. For two, they always seem to come in large quantities, and I have a bigtime quantity fetish. In fact, I have about a hundred quantity fetishes. Oooh.
Posted by: Dianna at April 27, 2005 03:32 PM
Hi Michele, it’s Matt. Remember me from Danny’s birthday party? I professed my love to you? Remember? Well anyway, that was until I found out about the hat. Looks like I’ll have to take back everything I said.
Just kidding! Danny showed me the elope conversation with the ninja and I thought it was brilliant the most brilliant thing I’ve read since 2pm today. Cheers!
Posted by: Matt at May 13, 2005 04:51 PM
(editor’s note: this comment is actually from 2005-05-13 16:51:56 but stupid webpage was broken then and it won’t show up for some reason, so i’m re-pasting it here. probably gene could have come up with a better way of fixing this problem.)
Hi Michele, it’s Matt. Remember me from Danny’s birthday party? I professed my love to you? Remember? Well anyway, that was until I found out about the hat. Looks like I’ll have to take back everything I said.
Just kidding! Danny showed me the elope conversation with the ninja and I thought it was brilliant the most brilliant thing I’ve read since 2pm today. Cheers!
Posted by: Matt at May 25, 2005 03:33 PM
dood, of course i remember you! it’s not everyday people profess their love for me and then take it back because of a stupid hat. thanks!
Posted by: michele ![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://sushi.cementhorizon.com/nav-commenters.gif)
at May 25, 2005 03:35 PM