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May 30, 2002
by the sea! wish i could be...
so my mom gave me a flyer for the annual nordstrom sale which starts next week and i said,
"dood i can't go to this. i don't have any money."
"me neither," my mom sighed.
"shit," i said. "i want to go."
"me too."
"i'm gonna go."
"me too."
"i can't move to san diego."
"huh?" (this sudden change of topic thru my mother off a bit)
"i don't have any money. i can't move."
for all of you who really really cared. i am not moving to San Diego. Marina promises to eventually forgive me. (who knows how long that will take. grin.) the inevitibility of me going to a nordies sale has convinced me, at last, of the sheer emptiness of my pocket book. i do not know what i do with all my money. it's amazing though how i have none of it. perhaps next time it's NYE i should make a resolution to keep better track of my expenses. but then again maybe by next NYE i'll be living in a cardboard box on the street. ha ha. just kidding. i'm going to be living at home for the year. attempting the possibly impossible goal of saving 10,000 dollars and being able to pay for at least part of grad school next next fall.
in other news. i cut all my hair off. there's bangs. holy christ is there ever. jumping basket of lizards.
ar ar ar. cementhorizon. ar ar ar.
Posted by michele at 12:00 PM | Comments (0)
May 29, 2002
WAP!
good lord. i am so shitty at updating this. but at least i admit my faults. wholeheartedly. hoo boy.
so this last weekend i went to San Diego. ah SD. fascinating land. i got lost SO MANY TIMES. it got kind of absurd. any faith in my directional abilities erica lost about 5 minutes after we arrived and promptly drove down the same street back and forth like 3 times before giving in and calling jenny for directions. well whatever. so i suck.
we went to the wild animal park. whoo! so much fun. big and sprawly and sleeping big kitties in the shade and so many babies. everywhere babies. monkeys and emus and antelopes. and a boy with the worst fake accent from escondido ever. brill i tell you. i floss my teeth with it, it's so shiny. mint penny! mmmmmmmm......
and we met up with my brother, anthony, jeremy, and jeff and some boy named gub. ver odd name that. though no jigger. at joe's crab shack no less. where jeff got a shirt which said, "my honors student got crabs." proudly emblazoned on his back now. and they were all drunk and fun and silly and then we left them to go see sarah g and her new boyfriend who couldn't be any fucking cuter if they tried. oh sweet jesus. hmm i gave her this webpage perhaps she will come and read it one of these days. and know how much in love with how much in love she is we are. ah poor grammar. i had a drink with blue cur-rac-a-rorooorwwwwoowowoow. tasty. and i am now a firm devotee of flautas. a thing which i had never had before. and which really weren't even mine. so hey thanks jenny. :) and lastly on friday night erica and i went to chris' house and partied with my bro and peeps. which was equally fun except for the skank which is angela and how she was trying to have sex with all my boys. bitch. back down! i could've pushed her over the second floor balcony i suppose.
sunday was beach day. there's always one in SD. and i did all my purple hair in little braids and people watched and and read "showdown at the bar none or ranch or whatever it is." from that nickelodeon show "hey dude." ha! i used to watch that. memory lane, man. memory lane. strolling. whistling. kicking and screaming perhaps.
now back at work i pity myself. and semi look forward to the trip this weekend in which i am going to seattle for the memorial ashes scattering event.
well popples. i better get back to working. before i get in trouble AGAIN.
p.s. go see �Jerry�
p.p.s. all right! He's working! Go see him..if you dareeee.. (suck my cock.)
p.p.p.s. totally not working. bah. lame.
Posted by michele at 12:00 PM | Comments (0)
May 22, 2002
shit monkeys!
I just finally managed to get this working. I cannot even tell you how happy I am just now. And of course obviously most of it is thanks to Jacob who was like, “This, type in your name there. Ok press enter.” And then it was all done and it was so much easier than I thought it would be and whoopee is basically what I am saying here. And now I will just have to work on continuing to update it. Smile. Something which I’m sure will be soooooo (sarcastically) difficult. Although with the new work mandates against typing too much (shit that email is still pissing me off. Stupid anal bosses. Whatever.) Ok anyway I don’t really have time to be typing right now cause Gene is supposed to be calling and I want to go to bed soon cause whoo boy am I ever sleepy. So maybe tomorrow I will upload some more. Nighty night.
Misc Dates which I don’t remember now. ;)
Yey look at me actually making an attempt to put together this web page. Unfort. I still don’t know how to upload it to the Internet but I’m working on it. Oh yes. Yes I am.
I came so close just there! I almost had it! Goddamm bastard of a web page! Shit monkeys!
Man, I wish I had a butterfinger just about now. Now would be a pretty fucking sweet time for a butterfinger. Nuts to me though obviously. Cause there is no butterfinger in sight. And the piddling little 12 cents clinking around in my big ass wallet is not going to get me very far. Nope, not very far at all.
So I’m reading this book that Jason loaned me from a writer in his support group. (yes, the man needs support. And lots of it. Where’s the love people? Say, “……HIIIII JA-SON.” Ahhhh jokes at the expense of recovering alcoholics. It’s not very humane of me I must say.) So this book, The Fire Queen, good god is it ever hideously bad. And though she claims it is no romance novel it is seriously a romance novel. Any book that can incorporate a flame haired maiden who can ambidextrously use both hands to fling spears into people’s necks and a clan king of Ireland with few friends, lots of enemies (including his jealous uncle), and an anger-management problem—has got to be a romance novel. If you see what I’m saying. Throw in a bit of light rape and heavy gore, blood, and violence. And I think this woman has covered all her bases. Not in a particularly pleasant manner, mind you. But covered all the same.
Speaking of bases. We need more people to come and play baseball with us. If you’re reading this and you live in the bay area you should come! Suspicious frown. Unless I don’t know you. In which case 1)don’t come. And 2) stop reading this. I don’t know you and it logically follows that therefore I do not like you. Nuts to you now, I think. Nuts to you.
And speaking of nuts. Watch out for them on Panther beach. Especially the ones that look as if they have elephantitus and are grossly sunburned and actually bigger than the man’s penis. The little itty bitty penis under the big fat paunch that haunted us wherever we went on the beach. Blech. Remind me again why I would ever want to have one of those touch me. Ah never mind….I can imagine it all by myself.
And now that I have covered all my own bases, including home, I do believe it’s time to say adieu for now. :P
Well here it is, the day to end all days. WEDNESDAY. So you might be thinking, what’s the big deal with Wednesday? It’s not that exciting. And that’s where you would be wrong. Wrong wrong wrong. Oh so wrong. Today is the bestest day. The day when I get to see Star Wars at a midnite sneak preview. Hell yeah! Oh shit I am so excited. It’s difficult to contain, soon I will probably be piddling like a puppy in the throes of meeting someone for the first time. Ah what a lovely image. Michele squatting and peeing on the sidewalk while trying at the same to wag her tail somewhat frantically.
Nuala has the soundtrack to Moulin Rouge which was playing in the car this morning. Which 1)makes me want the soundtrack myself and 2)makes me want to see Moulin Rouge again. It’s been a long ass time since I saw that movie. Good stuff is that Ewan Mcgregor. As to myself I am currently listening to the Hedwig soundtrack. Which is pretty fucking sweet in it’s own right. “The Origin of Love” for example is an awesome song.
I went to Sam’s Club yesterday. Big mistake. Spent entirely too much money. Bought absurd amounts of things which is the only thing you can do there. Sigh. Oh which one thing was a WHOLE BOX of butterfingers. Nuts to me no longer. Fat ass to me sure, sure, but no more nuts. Well…weird peanut stuff that’s inside of butterfingers. But nothing I can’t handle.
Expect the unexpected. Cause nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition. And tomorrow I will bring a Star Wars review to you. Clones, attack! Good boy.
Hoo boy. Those attacking clones are one fun barrel of monkeys. Go to “ooishi” to read my review of it.
Well here it is Friday. Beautiful sunny glorious Friday and soon it will be time to go home and enjoy my weekend. Soon. If it ever even gets beyond 10am. It seems like I’ve been here for like 4 hours now and it’s only fucking 9:30. This is very depressing. I am not at all pleased just so we’re all clear. And no one is writing me email which also is with the bugging cause there is absolutely no reason for me to be straining myself working, since there is no boss here or ho beast and even I am sitting over in Purchasing for a while cause they are all at a meeting and I am therefore guarding against people coming to ask questions. But nobody is coming. Hence, making my job pointless. Consequently making me feel pointless. Perhaps I should sharpen some points on myself. I could go find a pencil sharpener…..
No word from the physics people yet. Maybe I WILL move to San Diego.
Perhaps I should go play java noid. Or my new fave rave: bounce out. Ah shitty shitty computer games that are free to play and free to get you fired for the playing of.
Posted by michele at 12:00 PM | Comments (7)
May 19, 2002
The Sum Of All Fears
They honest to god blew up Baltimore’s football stadium with a fucking nuclear bomb in this movie. I was terrified. Other than that there isn’t much to say about this movie. Oh well there was one character named Clark, played by Liev Schreiber who had most of the good lines in the movie and was an assassin/reconnoitering spy for the US. Sadly he wasn’t in much of the movie. And I liked Morgan Freeman but of course he had to die in the nuclear bomb explosion. Ben Affleck is still a cutie patootie but I don’t know how much that says about his acting abilities. (hee. To be honest, he wasn’t bad.) And lastly this movie was verrrrra long. And I had already seen 2 movies in the theatre prior to this one so I was getting a little tired.
Posted by michele at 12:00 PM | Comments (2)
May 18, 2002
Scooby Doo
Bright colors. Flashy lights. Little to no substance. But did I like it? Of course I did. It wasn’t great but it was funny. And even this had a better plot than the Bourne Identity. And Matthew Lillard, whom I have never had much confidence in for acting ability (see Wing Commander in particular), was actually one of the best things about this movie. Go figure.
Posted by michele at 12:00 PM | Comments (0)
May 17, 2002
The Bourne Identity
They removed the antagonist of the book from the movie. I was shocked. I mean I thought the book was stupid and incredibly full of trite phrases, but I had to admit that it still had a better plot than the movie. Mainly due to the fact that the movie followed no discernible plot and all the actions were completely unmotivated by reality. Why was the gov’t after him? No apparent reason. He did not get shot in the head so why did he have the wicked retharded memory loss? No real justification. All in all it was bewildering and unnecessarily complicated. And I was horrified (yes horrified) because Matt Damon is always seeming (to me) to be an actor who really, really is in it for the acting. The good scripts, plots, direction, etc. But in this he has deeply failed me. Then again All the Pretty Horses was pretty godawful too. (but then what do you expect from something billy bob thornton is involved in.) Admittedly however, MD looked fantastic. With the buffness and the sexy shirts and the kung fu kicking action. And Franka Potente is almost too adorable for words when she does that little tentative smiling thing with half her mouth before it blooms into this big smile that makes you smile back at her. Love that girl. Love her. (for those of you who liked Run Lola Run/Franka be sure to see The Princess and the Warrior because it is great and she is super sweet in it.)
Posted by michele at 12:00 PM | Comments (3)
May 16, 2002
Rollerball
Ahhhhhh!!!! It was so bad!! So very, very bad. Listening to the audio commentary with L.L. Cool J going, “Yeah. All right. Here comes the man. Yeah yeah yeah. All right.” Fake rapping. I wanted to spew. And the action sequences were so confined by their stupid roller-rink that it was a pity to watch them. And the acting. And the miserable failed attempt of a plot. All so tedious and hideous and upsetting me. And also Jason. Poor Jason. Who was forced to watch this. I am so sorry Mr. Shamai. So very sorry. I am the dirty whore next door.
Posted by michele at 12:00 PM | Comments (0)
May 15, 2002
Psycho Beach Party
Holy shit. The writing. The so obvious attempt to be a cult classic and skipping any effort to be mainstream. The absurdity of it all. I almost died. I swear I was squirming so hard with laughter and restrained hilarity and fright that at one point I actually fell off the couch at Kim’s house. With lines such as “I’ve had hairy man balls since I was 8.” And a graphic description by Xander, XANDER NO LESS, of himself receiving a blowjob this movie didn’t have to work too hard to make me fall desperately in love with it. The refusal of Kristen to see it hurts me deeply because I am so very much enamoured of it. But she’ll get over that someday. And then maybe she will appreciate its brilliant nuances too. Yes, brilliant nuances, Kim, Nuala, and Erica, yes.
Posted by michele at 12:00 PM | Comments (0)
May 14, 2002
Bubble Boy
This movie starts out with a bang. A punching out biscuits in the shape of the fishy thing with “Jesus” written inside bang. And it only gets better. Not to mention Jake Googly-moogly (not to be confused with Christina A-googly) is quite possibly the most adorable thing ever, and an incredible actor to boot. My fave rave thing about this movie is……perhaps when the Bubble boy strums out some heavy rock version of the Land of the Lost theme song. Or maybe when Fabio says, “Let’s move on to the buffet.” Possibly really it’s just his saying “buffet.” Gets me every time. Or the mom’s bedtime scary ass stories, such as: “and then Rapunzel left her plastic bubble and died. The end.” And “the Prince touched the filthy whore next door and died. The end.” I’m telling you. It’s good stuff. If you haven’t seen it, come to my house and make me watch it again. I won’t mind.
Posted by michele at 12:00 PM | Comments (6)
May 13, 2002
Dude where�s my car?
This movie is fucking brilliant. I mean, I know it’s dumb. That the plot is dumb, the actors are actually dumb (over the top Giovanni). And the writing is dumb. And cinematically it has nothing to offer in the way of interest or breakthrough. But it is just so goddamm funny that I love it anyway. Any movie that can take as its premise the end of the world being aborted due to two stoners who can’t find their car is pretty fucking sweet in my book. With lines such as, “Dude where’s my car?” “Where’s your car, dude?” “Dude, where’s my car” “Where’s your car, dude?” Ah the scintallating conversation that just goes on and on and fucking on. I scream with laughter. Even though it’s not really all that funny. Something about stupidity appeals to me I guess. Maybe I gots a little of the Giovanni in me too. And maybe I just like the pretty colors, flashy lights, and cute boys.
Posted by michele at 12:00 PM | Comments (0)
May 12, 2002
Divine secrets of the ya ya sisterhood
So good! The acting was superb. Now if only the man they had gotten to play Sandra Bullock’s fiancée had been just a leeeettttle hotter. I mean he was hot, don’t get me wrong. Austrailian accents will do that for a fella, but he could have been so much HOTTER. Sigh. I was very disillusioned. About what? I have no idea.
Anyway, southern culture on the rocks (an apt way of putting it considering how much alcohol they drank.) I really should read the book to compare because I’m kind of curious if I would like the Vivi character more or less. I really want to like her more.
When we left the theatre I actually bemoaned the fact to my mother that she didn’t beat me enough in my childhood because if she had then perhaps I could be a published playwright already with things being produced on stages. She laughed at me and said it was never too late.
Posted by michele at 12:00 PM | Comments (7)
May 11, 2002
Spiderman
Crappy dialogue. And yeah I get the whole melodramatic writing is all a part of comic books. But I think my dislike of it just proves hwo much I really don’t like comic books. Which probably also corresponds to my gi-normous dislike of “unbreakable.” My point here I think is that they could have made it a really good movie adaptation of a comic book while AT THE SAME TIME having decent dialogue. Apparently however this is just too much to ask.
On the other hand. Tobey and Kirsten. Good god. Such cuties. And did anyone else see the MTV movie awards spoof of it? Jack black and Sarah Michele Geller kissing. Ahhhhhh…..not quite as sexy perhaps to some, but if you’ve recently developed a jack black obsession as I have then it’s pretty damn appealing. Equally crappy dialogue in the spoof though really. Buffy actually said, “looks like I’ve found myself a co-host.” But she delivered it with such relish that I managed to gag my gag reflex.
Posted by michele at 12:00 PM | Comments (0)
May 10, 2002
Monsoon wedding
Any movie where they randomly star singing Indian pop music has got to be good.
Also though surprisingly this movie had some very adult themes, such as incest/rape of a child by her uncle, which I was not expecting, and which were, I think, handled really well in their exposure and their conclusion. In addition I have to say that it is sublime how Indian filmmakers utilize color in their movies. It’s soo gorgeous and adds a lovely richness to the viewing experience.
Posted by michele at 12:00 PM | Comments (0)
May 09, 2002
Importance of being earnest
Not as good as the book. What do you expect though I guess? Ideal husband made by the same people wasn’t nearly as good either. Very sad. Because it COULD be so good. Such wasted potential makes me sad. I was a little fascinated by the fact that they showed Lady Bracknell as having been a showgirl/prostitute on the London stage. Such liberties. But in a way it was kind of an awesome liberty to take. By giving her a “past” they gave her character (one of the shallowest in the play) an added depth that set her further apart from the others. Also cecily’s daydreaming sequences were masterfully done and, I felt, aptly illustrated the repressed imagination of a girl in that time period.
Posted by michele at 12:00 PM | Comments (0)
May 08, 2002
Undercover brother
Basically the extreme absurdity of this movie worked in it’s favor brilliantly. There are so many random occurances that have absolutely no basis in reality or further the plot line in any way shape or form. Suspension of belief was called for and I complied to my utmost. If they wanted to have him suddenly be wearing funky clothes in replace of the j crew ones while flying through a window—I was good with that. If he wanted to swerve his car all over the place and have his orange crush be the center of the axis undisturbed by motion—I was merely impressed and eager to drive like that myself. And if a tumbleweed rolled across at the showdown on a gorgous island with no real plants—well that was just fine and dandy.
Also the fact that within the first 2 minutes of the movie his windshield got shat upon and the little flying man in my head screamed “I’m gonNNNAAA POOOOOOPPP ON IT!” was pretty fucking beautiful, let me tell you.
Posted by michele at 12:00 PM | Comments (0)
May 07, 2002
Life as a house
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Posted by gene_wood at 12:00 PM | Comments (1)
May 06, 2002
Star Wars: clone wars attack (possible spoilers)
Oh god what can I say? It was so amazing and at the same time so awful. You know how all Star Wars movies have the really cheesy elements: dialogue, scene transitions, etc? It had all of that in droves. But personally the thing which appeals to me the most about a Star Wars film is exactly that hackneyed writing style and 70’s kitsch. The originals came out in the 70’s after all and there’s just something so appealing and nostalgic about watching something that beautifully awful that makes me really, really completely happy.
However, in addition to the bad-good things there were some really good-good things. Prime examples being the Yoda-Dooku fight sequence. The little kiss on the cheek that Padme gives Anakin when he kills the tiger beast in the pit and pulls her up behind him on his fat lizard beast. Obi wan Kenobi. Really anything he did. I swear to god. Ewan Mcgregor is god. So really I’m swearing to him here. Holy shit but he’s brilliant. And gorgeous even with a partial mullet (oh god the hair). Natalie Portman. Primarily in backless, gorgeous flowing gowns. And telling a really poorly planned story about losing her virginity to Anakin. Necessary? Definitely not. But adorable? Oh yes. The almost complete absence of Jar Jar Binks was not half bad either. And getting to see Luke and Leia’s adoptive parents in their younger versions was fascinating. Really getting to see a lot of things when you already know what’s going to happen later was pretty great. Watching Obi-wan and Anakin is bittersweet when you know that eventually Anakin is going to kill Obi-wan. And that Padme will die. And that Yoda will die. And even that Anakin/Darth Vader will die. I saw the plans for the Death Star but I still do not understand the Darth Sidious/Palpatine connection completely. Lucas is holding out on us for the 3rd one, which let me tell you is going to have to be fucking amazing. With this leading up to it and knowing the final four installments, a lot of shit is going to have to go down in Episode 3. And I, for one, cannot WAIT to see it.
I am going to see Episode 2 again next week. So I will try to have another installment for this with a little more technical detail.
Shit, did anyone else notice that Jar Jar, the worst character ever to grace the screen of course, had one good catch phrase? A catch phrase which I know some of us (Kristen) already know, use, and love? He said “muy, muy.” He did! Muy muy! Muy muy grande! Muy muy …..piccolo. or however that is spelled. There was some other really good line…..hmmm no memory of it now. However let us make a count of C-3PO bad one liners. How many actual puns did he spew? 2. How many more could be taken as puns? 2. How many other just really bad lines which were not puns, nor good, nor anything but really really bad? All of them! Yes! It’s a little weird how only Obi Wan gets good lines. It confuses me. But I think it’s not so much that he is the only one with semi-decent lines, as it is that he is the only one who manages to deliver his lines with anything even closely resembling flair.
What else can I say? Well I guess I can say that Jacob just cleared up the Palpatine/Sidious thing. With the obvious truth that I already knew but had briefly discarded because of something the ain’t it cool spoiler man said about the uncut version he saw which made it seem as if the two were really two different people or personalities flip sides if you will. One bogus theory discarded I guess.
I guess all else I really have to say is that for the naysayers out there who say George Lucas is raping our childhood (well #1 what childhood? Who among us was born when these started coming out? Clingers to the holy trinity we are. Whatever) but the thing is other than more special effects these episodes are the same as the other ones. All the same cheesy things are done. The writing is still heavy-handed with as little actual dialogue as possible to get all the main points across. All the acting is done by facial expressions and let’s face it some actors are better at this than others. Some of them just let the words slide off their tongues like regurgitated pasta noodles. And if that’s no good, well then, it’s no good. I think we can all agree.
Gene’s called now so I have to go! More later.
More later I promised. But I am apparently a liar. 1) because it’s taken me this long to write again. And 2) because currently I have nothing new to say. Blah. Onto other reviews.
Posted by michele at 12:00 PM | Comments (0)