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July 31, 2002
fucking ferrets.
the last two days, i've been wearing my glasses to work due to the fact that i'm having allergic reactions to everything right now. these are the responses to said glasses:
"michele, i didn't know you wore glasses!"
"michele, you look so cute in those!"
"are you wearing glasses?"
"you look really good in glasses!"
"are those real?" (bible thumping mary seemed to think i might be trying to make some fashion statement and wearing fake glasses to look cool. which is funny considering how much i hate my glasses, wearing glasses, and how i look in glasses.)
in other news my mother just informed me that my brother is MOVING OUT IN SEPTEMBER. since i am moving back there next month, this means that i will get THREE BEDROOMS OF MY VERY OWN instead of the one very small one. and my own bathroom! and no more nasty ferret stink! but then again also...no more fun boy friends over all the time....and no more funny brother there all the time...but no more nasty girl friends all the fucking time with the using of my shampoo. skanky bitches. but guess who he's going to live with! corey fucking miller! argh!
that ferret is wearing a fleece vest. yes. a fleece vest. just what every ferret needs. click on him to see another ferret. if you care that much about ferrets. are these ferrets friends with the kitten or EATING the kitten?
Posted by michele at 11:37 AM | Comments (20)
Stinky Romance Novels
HAPPY BIRTHDAY YOU NAUGHTY, NAUGHTY GIRL.
The last couple of days I've been reading these really awful romance novels. Why? I don't know. It could be because I'm an incorrigible romantic (most people will not agree with me on this one), or it coud be that I like reading trash, or it could be that I am just odd sometimes. Anyway, mind you this is nothing like the porn I wrote that one time(holy shit i just went to the ninjaporn page and there are 31 votes in the poll! who the hell has been voting there? dammmmnnnn man.), but here is a quote:
"'Shall I remove my shirt?' He asked, his hands already on the buttons. Sheridan hesitated, knowing that the removal of his clothing was only a prelude to her clothing being taken off. But then she thought that was bound to happen anyway whether he took his shirt off or not." -Until You
hmmm....I do not actually have the book with me so that is poorly paraphrased. There's this whole brilliant part where the men talk about being "desolate" without their wives for a couple of hours in order to humor those wacky womenfolk. Man oh man it has had me giggling like a mad little chortling fiend in the backseat of Kristen's car on the way to and from work every morning the last 2 days. And that is pretty cool considering I've read this book enough times to have seriously damaged the cover and I'm sure I spotted some chocolate ice cream stains in there somewhere. Not only am I reading dirty things, I am dirty.
Posted by michele at 09:31 AM | Comments (2)
July 29, 2002
smores
i ate so many smores this weekend. so many. but then i also walked at least 10 miles. so i feel it all evens out in the end. but does my end even out in the end? i just don't think so.
and does this make up for the days of no posting? probably not. but whoops only 5 minutes before my work buddies will be zooming off in the car and i gots to go catch my ride.
i'll do better tomorrow. i promise.
Posted by michele at 04:57 PM | Comments (16)
orange county
this movie is actually really really good. the discussions of famous literature during english class ("what does it look like i'm speaking? french?") are so brilliant. you'll laugh your ass off. no really i swear. and jack black dood. the coolest of the cools. argh i love him so much.
Posted by michele at 04:49 PM | Comments (1)
citizen kane
i seriously though this movie was going to be so boring. but it was so incredibly good. the origination of "deep focus" the camera angles, lighting, acting, directing, it was all just unbelievably awesome. 2 hours later orson welles became my new hero.
Posted by michele at 04:41 PM | Comments (0)
men in black 2
soooo not as good as the original. they took pretty much the whole movie setting up the plot and then had to finish everything in like 10 minutes. it was kind of dumb. and the whole tommy lee jones got down and funky with an alien and this girl in the sequel is his kid and now will smith wants to make love to her till the break of dawn...trite trite trite. furthermore, what the hell happened with that woman tommy lee jones was so in love with and who he went back to live with at the end of the last one? totally kicked him out? what the fuck? anyway, dumb is my point. some good lines, mainly joshing on the original. feh.
Posted by michele at 04:39 PM | Comments (0)
lilo and stitch
not perhaps as subversive as the last oh so brilliant disney movie, the emperor's new groove. but still pretty damn sweet it in its own right. funny and cute and touching (maybe a little TOO sappy, but whatevs yo i am a sucka for the sap). and fucking stitch was so goddam cute and horrific at the same time. i mean....it was like watching ME in michele the mouth form running around eating things. so brilliant. highly recommended.
Posted by michele at 04:36 PM | Comments (9)
July 25, 2002
anti-job
sigh apparently none of you like me getting a new job either.
i am so bored, i am practically begging for comments. moan. so pathetic.
going camping soon! argh why is it only 3pm?!
Posted by michele at 02:56 PM | Comments (18)
anti-porn
well apparently none of you like porn.
so i applied to a job at this small publishing house in berkeley called stone bridge press. and i think i might get an interview next week. how exciting is that? pretty damn sweet, lemme tell you. of course, it's only 20 hours/week, $10/hour, no benefits, and possibly the boss is a little too intense. sigh. why can no job be perfect? why must working suck so much ass?
Posted by michele at 01:33 PM | Comments (2)
porn
what is it with me lately and porn? i have no idea. mind you that is a pretty unobjectionable picture of sailor moon compared to some of the other ones i just looked at. and at work too. i am totally defiling this computer.
so last night, jason and i watched the first 2 episodes of queer as folk. holy shit, it should be called "folk who are sex addicts." speaking of whacking off and letting me watch... well anyway, it was intense. the things i get thru netflix. (head shaking) it's crazy.
and then this morning my inbox is again filled to overflowing with the glorious messages of free sex pics and the like. here is a quick sample:
from courtney: Adv:Adult: Too Hot To Handle? :)
from ?: Hi jakemydog ?
from cathy: THESE WOMEN WANT TO MEET YOU!
from Melvina Grossman: It's gotta be the RIGHT Size! Extra Large.
from Legal Eagle (not porn but still funny.): Fuk_o Legal Problem?
from Sex Pic of the Day(i actually got 7 of these. all the same naked girl.): July 24, 20002 FREE Sex Pic
from uzthgensk: CELEBRITY GANGBANG AND YOURE INVITED!
this last is really my fave rave. this is what the text inside the message says:
Have you ever seen your favorite celeb with a load shot across her face? We have!
Have you ever seen your favorite celeb bent over and showing it all for the cameras without them knowing it? We have!
We have it all!!! All the uncut hard to find footage that they wish you wouldnt see!
But now you can see it right here for FREE!!!
i am a bit trepidatious about clicking on the link since i am at work. but if you'all want to try it go right ahead.
Posted by michele at 09:04 AM | Comments (0)
July 24, 2002
rapscallions
today i am wearing a tanktop that has a comic strip woman graphic saying, "beat it punk!!!"
i am curious as to whether anyone at work gets the subtle implication that it might mean, "whack off and let me watch" instead of just "scram." i am now very worried about the state of these people's gutter minds. how dirty are they? could they possibly be as nasty as me? it doesn't seem very bloody likely.
you know what else i am worried about? the fact that i haven't really been updating the movies page at all. this bothers me. it's difficult to update 2 pages. and i am lazy. ooo i suck. and speaking of things that suck, there's this oyster farm in oregon which has a t-shirt that says:
Shuck Me
Suck Me
Eat Me Raw
Oregon Oyster Farms
Newport Oregon
how pleasing is that? pretty great. i am very tempted by it. which is not all that surprising considering that other one i have:
hug me
kiss me
lick me
suck me
blow me
fuck me
mind you that one goes from big letters to small ones. and i could be remembering it wrong. i really just have a fond recollection of the tiny one that says "fuck me."
Posted by michele at 03:24 PM | Comments (1)
July 23, 2002
sheena: queen of the jungle
last night i watched "sheena," the movie version from 1984. whoo boy, buck-o. that was some trashy gar-bage. at first it seemed so brill, but that quickly became a sorry, sorry ass lie.
good lord could that really be true? it would make sense considering the movie's attempts at being soft core porn. of course the nominal word there is "attempts." naked sheena? yes. naked vic casey? yes. two naked people getting hot and heavy? no. goddamm but it was agravating. stupid cock tease of a movie.
on the other hand dialogue such as the following cannot be discounted from the pro side:
"I'm done for, babe. And all I can think to say is--Shit."
i bet vic casey was wishing he'd gotten sheena to put him on fire rather than receiving "fatal degree burns."
Posted by michele at 04:01 PM | Comments (6)
July 22, 2002
linda cardellini worship-fest
ahhhHHH!!!! linda cardellini was at the Aidswalk yesterday being a guest of honor and then when Nuala and i were walking, she was suddenly there. being all walking too. and we walked behind her forever! i was so excited! if you do not know who she is (more fool you) if you look at this picture you will prob have a vague idea. but if you are in the know and look at this picture you will see why i was so excited. :) yey! her bf was there too, jason segal also from "freaks and geeks". and they were just walking along. walking. walking. me right behind them! it was super great fantastic! yes i realize my enthusiasm is a little out of control. shut your mouth.
and nuala saw some bison. (bison! bison! bison!) so she was pretty happy too.
speaking of the aidswalk though. i mean as long as we're ON the subject. what the fuck is the point of the walking part is what i want to know. getting the donations is all well and good, but then once you have them what's the point in the actual walking? it's dumb. and full of blistery pain. couldn't it just be like the aidsfundraiser? which is not to say that it was not a nice walk. pretty. trees. dirt. umm...the aforementioned bison. and the excitement lucky chance-o of walking behind linda cardellini.
but...i dunno. it felt kind of shunted into the park and it wasn't like it was being widely covered by anyone who cared. and i didn't feel as if i formed some deep bond with my fellow walkers in our committed fight against aids. mainly i felt that we all bonded over the fact that the promised "ice cream" was really just melted popicee in the plastic recepticles. and i guess if you are a huge honey roasted peanuts fan than they were handing those out and i saw some people making out like bandits running off clutching handfuls of the little baggies. but come on, were we on a plane? i think not.
cheapskates.
i got two free t-shirts though. free ones. i slept in one last night. along with my not so free lacy pink panties. yeah....you didn't need to know that.
what else i did this fine fine weekend: spent entirely too much time next to a pool (all three days.) and went to a fascinating party at tracy and ian's house in oakland. there was a guy there who i have to give mad props too. at first i was utterly flabbergasted by his clothing choices. but after a few minutes of adjusting time i was in awe. who could pull off an outfit like that? not many people let me tell you. definite flair. hmmm possibly now he will be reading this though, so perhaps i should feel slightly nervous about writing anything, since for some reason you bastards were talking about weblogs and now everyone knows i bite kristen's ass. tragic. i am deeply ashamed. deeply i tell you.
you know what's fascinating? the lengths people go to when talking about peanuts.
Posted by michele at 10:55 AM | Comments (83)
July 19, 2002
friday
although i am gloriously happy that it is friday, i am also bored, sleepy, irritable, and easily upset. grr i say to you readers. grrr. better watch out or i'll bite your finger off.
what's sad is that i really don't have anything to say today. which is not so bad since no one had anything to say about my posting yesterday. turn around = fair play. mind you...i won't let fair play stop me from babbling on for a while now.
on wed we played baseball and tracy hit me with the ball. ouchie. pain. it's actually still not mutliple colors i am very sad. it's all puffy of course and red, but where's the black and the blue and maybe so later i could have some green and yellow? i am still hopeful that it will come around. anyway, even though i got injured (so what else is new?) it was still really fun and i was glad that tracy and ian came to play with us. cause new peeps are always good.
today i have a paper due! yes a paper. not much of a paper since it's restricted to being 3 pages in length. but still a paper. i wrote it last night between 10 and 11. it is incredibly shitty. i am so disappointed in myself. kristen just reviewed it for me and thinks it's good irregardless of the fact that it presents a point different from what gene says. that's amazing. i am a golden god!
in this class on computer ergonomics earlier this week i learned that one of the ways of preventing carpal tunnel and tendonitis is to practice using the mouse with your less dominant hand. a fascinating idea that i really have yet to put into practice. mostly probably because i already have tendonitis and seem to feel it is a lost cause.
Posted by michele at 10:46 AM | Comments (4)
July 18, 2002
of toads and warthogs.
low fat cottage cheese sucks ass.
On the 4th of July, President Bush spent his time in a devotional service in Ripley, West Virginia where Rev Jack Miller of West Ripley Baptist Church gave a sermon in which he stated,
"There is no American race; there's only an American creed...We have ridiculed the absolute truth of Your word in the name of multiculturalism. We have been forced into sexual devience in the name of freedom of expression. We have exploited the system of education in the name of the lottery. We have toyed with the idea of helping human life in the name of medical research. We have killed our unborn children in the name of choice."
It boggles the mind.
They also said the pledge of allegiance and shouted out with one voice, "under God!" in defiance of the issue in courts.
Posted by michele at 12:58 PM | Comments (0)
July 16, 2002
and she says she wants my baby...
take that baby-maker! i bite your ass off! AR AR AR
"Jacob, when Jesus (note: don't look at this at work.) created the world, he made seven full days. He gave one to Wednesday and He gave one to Thursday, so they wouldn't fight. What's the conflict?"
wise words, friend Jason. Wise words indeed. Bible-Thumper.
Posted by michele at 07:24 PM | Comments (10)
July 15, 2002
powerpuff sex symbols
today in my online film class we were discussing the role of femme fatales in
film noir. and the teacher was asking some questions about female power and whether there were females in popular media today who were good "role models" and he asked,
"Taking Urs' argument to modern media: Powerpuff Girls - three 5yo girls who are essentially adult females in child female bodies who fight crime and fly around and "stuff." Are THEY good role models?"
and i said:
powerpuff girls are not good role models. all of the evil characters
are male and all of their "guardians" are male except for thier ineffectual teacher. the girls themselves therefore are still dominated by men. and they have no sexuality to speak of.
and he said:
Do you REALLY want to see sexualized 5yo girls? 
and i was like eek! dood that's not what i meant! i was comparing with gilda and the lady from shanghai and how the femme fatales base their power in their sexuality and there's no way to compare them with the aesexual powerpuff girls! sigh. i somehow always manage to stick my foot in my mouth in film class chat session.
anyway the point is, for all you bloggers out there, if you like powerpuff girls, go take this simple quiz. kristen and i were both buttercup.
this morning, one of my bosses was talking about how james brown was going to be playing at this fair in, (i think), vallejo, and i was all excited and said, "really? james brown?" and she said, "girl, you don't know nothing about james brown. this is james brown we're talking about. not one of the backstreet boys." and i just kind of looked at her. and she was saying some line from one of his songs. (can't remember which one.) and so i said, "get up offa that thing!" and they all laughed and laughed. fucking bosses who think i don't got no soul. i am brim full of soul! i am a soul-sista!
but then later my boss jeanene asked me while i was copying things if i ever listened to "journey" cause she is going to see them. i was hard pressed not to fall over laughing at her. she is brill i swear. she's also pregnant. and was talking about some heavy metal bands too. whoo. something else. and at the copier too.
p.s. possibly some of you have noticed, but my movie reviews page has also been converted to MT and is underneath the links on the right side of the page. it also has comments feature so you can make your own comments both on the movies/my reviews of them. thank you soo soo much to gene for setting that up for me. :)
p.p.s. a new webpage blog has joined us to fight the good fight against all things bad: fat-free wheat thins, drool, and miniture poodles. so everybody say, "hiiiiii katie...." and "happy mousing."
Posted by michele at 03:32 PM | Comments (15)
July 12, 2002
Tattoo
Bring on the Needles.
As some of you know, I have been thinking about getting a tattoo for a while now, and now that I have this handy dandy comments feature I am going to canvas for opinions on what I should get. Yes, even YOU, get a chance to weigh in with your two cents. FYI, I want a word that is two characters long so that I can get one character tattooed on each wrist on the outer edge (underneath the pinkie). And I will be getting it done in black, cause color fades and screw that shit. See below for links to what the various words look like in Japanese. And have a nice day.
1. ocean water
3. dragonfly
5. kitten
7. falling star
Note: Of course I might find some other one I want to do, and you should feel free to offer suggestions too. And ummmm yeah..... ok then. :)
Posted by michele at 12:07 PM | Comments (7)
July 11, 2002
Doug and Lisa's House
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Well, I have done a great service to the Cement Horizon community and have made a page with pictures of Doug's new house in Eugene, OR for you all to go and look at. this was mainly based on the fact that some people were curious as to what it looked like (Jason and Marina) and I felt that potentially others might be curious too. I know I was curious and therefore raided Jacob's computer to see the pictures and have now stolen them all for your viewing pleasure. (Sorry Jacob) But really I don't think he'll care since he kept offering to show them to people anyway.
To be honest I feel like I should talk about "how it makes me feel" to see pictures of my ex-boyfriend's new house that he is buying with his fiancée. How does it make me feel? Well.....none too shabby I spose. I mean...don't get me wrong. it would be nice if I bought a house someday with my fiancée/boyfriend whatever but I sure am glad I’m not doing it right now. And after we'd been going out for two years and I began to be very afraid of that kind of thing actually happening to ME, I admit that I ran away from that big of a commitment. admittedly my treatment then of him was not so good as we kind of stopped speaking and that still makes me kind of sad sometimes. Because Doug was/is super cool, and really funny, smart, and nice/sweet to me (even though I don't think I ever saw a flower on any of the trite holidays or random romantic days.) I do have a pink dog with hearts on his feet though. Grin. But that is another story.
Anyway enough blather. I hope that Doug and Lisa will be really happy in their new house and have fun going to grad school in Eugene and all that jazz. And also I kind of hope they don't ever read this page. Ever.
PS. Erica does not understand moral codes because she is a slut. FYI. Apparently.
Posted by michele at 12:00 PM | Comments (7)
July 10, 2002
Oreos
So today I was over in purchasing, and we were talking about ass-kissing brown-nosing suck upping (because of my number 2 interview with the French/comp lit dept. and yes that is number 2 as in I gots to take a #2.) And Bible-Thumping-Mary was telling me a story about this rich aunt of hers that wanted to leave her a lot of money but when Mary was going to marry her husband Nat who is black, the aunt told her she would cut her out of the will if Mary didn’t bow to her wishes and kiss some ass. Mary of course being completely unwilling to subjugate herself said hell no. And the aunt cut her out of the will and (this is the kicker) said, “I guess you’re making some OREOS.” And Mary replied, “Yeah, you want a batch?”
Posted by michele at 12:00 PM | Comments (0)
July 09, 2002
Off to see the Wizard (in DC)
Man but oh man. I apologize to all my devoted fans for the complete lack of updating that has been going on with this sushi page. I am a slacker. And also I was out of the state. And then I was back but excessively tired. Hell I am still verra tired. But I am making the attempt anyway. Grin. Lucky you all.
So! Last Wednesday I flew out of SFO at fricking 6:25 in the morning. It was hideous. The horrible-ness of it was compounded by the fact that I barely made it onto the plane due to my own stupidity and forgetfulness in leaving my wallet in my purse in the trunk of Erica’s car which Jason drove off in after dropping me off. I was panic-stricken. I called Jason’s phone like every 2 minutes for a fucking hour. Where was that boy is what I wanted to know. I in fact still do not know where he is cause I have yet to ask him. Anyway, I finally at 5:15 gave up on trying to get a hold of him and called to wake up Jacob (sorry Jacob) to ask for Richard’s cell phone #. I then proceeded to try to call Jason’s # a couple more times before sucking it up and trying Richard’s. Who ALSO didn’t answer his phone. Man I was practically in tears. Finally on the second time calling Richard, he answered the phone (I felt so fucking bad he was so asleep) and I made him get out of bed and check to see if Jason was home and then made him leave a note on the door. Richard-you are a fucking saint. I swear. You are my hero. Jason eventually came home and called me back and then drove all the way back to the airport for me and got there at like 5:55. I rushed thru all the lines and got to my gate just as they were boarding the group of seats before mine. Holy shit. That was a traumatic morning.
P.S. in the meantime of me calling Jason over and over again, some Russian dudes who needed help with a phone card approached me. They did not speak very good English. They came back and I had to help them purchase tickets to Denver over the phone. It was so cool! Russians! Named like Vlad and Mikhail. Crazy ass shit. Anyway, I got them on a flight and a return flight and sent them on their way. They were so in love with me.
Ok this is a long ass posting. So I will shorten the next little bit. Made it to DC, hung out with Patty and Colin (Patty is an intern at Marina’s office and Colin is her boyfriend), ate, went to a bookstore, got picked up by Marina, went to Marina’s house, showered and went to bed. On Thursday..hmm what did I do on Thursday…..? We went to see Men in Black 2, had a BBQ with Marina’s fam at the house, and went to the National Mall to see the concert and fireworks. Aretha Franklin, baby. Oh shit it was so cool. I was SOOOOO so happy. Happy Michele smile. Friday…went to Tower Records (where I got Cirrus, Jimmy Eat World, and Norah Jones) and to the Freemason Temple Museum place. That place was wacky. Wacky, I tell you. I still honestly don’t understand all about freemasons, but whatever. Maybe I will do some reading up on them and update more about it later on this week. And after all that fun we went out to dinner in old town Alexandria with Marina’s family and took a boat tour of the Potomac river. On Saturday, we went to the Smithsonian Folk life festival, which was really awesome and decked out with tents, musical jamborees, food, crockery making, paper making, jewelry making, etc. But there were so many people! I was all claustrophobic. And whatever the fear of large crowds is. It was icky. Icky icky icky. But I still liked how it looked with the crazy ass Asian inspired structures and wacky Mongolian music. Whatever. So after that scary venture into the huge masses of people, we went to the zoo to see the non-baby pandas. They were like teenage pandas. But they were so cute and fuzzy! Oh pandas! Back to Marina’s house, got pizza and rented The Majestic and How High (why did we rent the latter? I don’t know. It was awful. Don’t anyone see it. Ever.) Then on Monday after 3 HOURS OF SLEEP, I flew home. Long ass plane ride. Me stuck in the middle seats the whole way on both flights where once again they didn’t feed us anything. But my mommy picked me up and took me to the Cheesecake Factory. Oh cheesy. I ate so much food I almost exploded. It was hideous and delicious all at the same time, as most of my trips to an eating establishment are.
Ok I apologize PROFUSELY for the length of this update. I’ll try to update more frequently now that I’m back from this latest vacation. And maybe Gene will give me access to moveable type soon and I’ll potentially be able to update at work in which case life will be much better for one and all.
Go here to see some pictures from my trip.
Posted by michele at 12:00 PM | Comments (0)