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February 28, 2003
happy birthday, john!
welp, 26 is finally here. shit you're old. and, i've got to say, you've come a long way from impressionable curly haired cherub to drunken fiancee impromptu-ly holding a little scrap of paper with a scribbled "2" tacked on to the heartfelt "i *heart* you" message from katherine. there were times when i despaired of you ever making it to china (still waiting for that to happen really). at first i thought, "yeah, he's hella smart with that wheelbarrow and plastic shovel. he's bound to break on thru to the other side one of these days. while adam will probably sit there puzzling over which end goes into the ground for the next 20 years." sadly though you merely became a disillusioned hoodlum with time to kill and the will to kill to it in the most bizarre and obscure body and facial movements you could come up with. there was also that brief period where you attempted an unaffected sweet disposition. you never fooled me though. at heart i know you and i will always be planning that next prank and executing it with glee. and for this, my penultimate side-splitter pulled on you: (please don't kill me. i can't stop myself.) happy birthday in your birthday suit!
Posted by michele at 07:53 PM | Comments (2)
bearer of sad tidings
i have the downlow skivvy news which is bad.
so coachella booths are FIFTEEN HUNDRED DOLLARS for 2 days for a 10 X 10 booth. and you only get 3 free passes. THREE. that's pathetic! i want to cry. pretty much this shoots down all our little hopes for getting in free. and for selling stylus gear.
Posted by michele at 06:34 PM | Comments (1)
February 27, 2003
"rock out with your cock out!" ....?
sweet jesus. so yesterday on the drive home nuala was telling me about how dvd depot down the street of which i wrote about before now has commercials on the television starring my erstwhile suitor. apparently i have missed out on being the someone of someone famous.
hmmm so i just searched my page for me writing about the whole dvd depot thing. and i swear to god i had written about it, but apparently not. ok so once i went in there and the guy asked me if i had a boyfriend and i, horrified, said yes so as to circumvent having to go on a date with him. yes i LIED. this description makes the entire sequence of events sound very boring. it would be a lot better if i could find a picture of him or if any of you have seen the commercial.
sadly i have not seen their commercial but nuala assures me it's horrific. and i did find their webpage online where you can listen to the current promotional ad of a free porn dvd with a certain level of purchase. good fucking times.
Posted by michele at 04:21 PM | Comments (4)
February 26, 2003
evil scheming manipulative
well ok. not so much evil since really i'm working to benefit the good of all. i just called a certain someone named shalyce. yes. at the goldenvoice headquarters to ask about getting a booth at coachella. how much it would cost, if vendors got in free, and if they did...how many could get in free. =) brilliant. it's very possible depending on cost of booth that we could all pretend to be working for stylus clothing and spend a couple of hours manning the booth in order to pay a seriously discounted entry fee. ie, stylus dj wear is broke so they can't pay for booth rental. but if we all split the cost and got in free i bet we could pay less than $140 for tickets! and all we'd have to do in exchange would be to sell some shirts. we could do that! i had to leave a message because she wasn't there but maybe i will hear back soon. i'll keep you posted, loyal coachella fans.
Posted by michele at 03:13 PM | Comments (33)
February 24, 2003
i mock you, codeine challenged.
once again i have triumphed against my personal nemesis: the doctor. and what have i come away with? oh YES. a prescription for codeine flavored cough syrup. it does not GET any better than this, my ineffectual little friends who have no codeine. and how did i get said nectar of the gods? sniveling. yes. i pleaded. i complained about lack of sleep. and constant coughing. tied it all in to the depression of having pink colored eyes and how i wasn't sure if it was worth it go on living without something to numb the pain. and from all this hard work i was rewarded with ample gifts.
1) eyedrops to make the evil pink eye go away.
2) codeine to brighten up the darkest cough filled night.
and 3) antibiotics.
because apparently what i actually have is acute bronchitis. acute fucking bronchitis. this is bullshit! how the fuck did i get so sick? why must i whinge about it day in and day out to all of you uncaring healthy bastards? i didn't really get the codeine on my own tactics enhanced merit. oh nooooo, it was cause she listened to my chest and said, "holy hot damn, girl. it's a wonder you're still ambulatory under your own steam."
and now i face the truly perplexing situation of HOW TO GET MY HANDS ON THE DRUGS? i've never had to go to the pharmacy before. and mom won't be home till 4. and i really am just not sure how to proceed here. so most likely what will happen is i will go into the fun room and watch more atrocious movies. although never again will i sink as low as i did yesterday and watch something of the likes of "the master of disguise." fuck me. that was bad. eventually mom will come home. and then the codeine will be mine, all mine.
eeeeeee.......tasty......mmmmmm.......
it's kind of like how i am with the sweet potatos and the spatula and your face. only in this situation it's the codeine and a spoon and still your face bearing the brunt of the silver beating. oh yes. mine all mine.
i am NOT a drug addict. i am not a drug addict.
Posted by michele at 10:44 AM | Comments (11)
February 22, 2003
shameless non-self narcissism.
i think we should all learn a lesson here in how jacob's digi is nicer than my digi. le sigh. "it's french." hopeless abandon.
and now i'm going to go back to being horrendously sick. and imagining the world without buildings or people or futures as all this talk of war and politics is bringing me down and creating desolation amongst my blogging repertoire. well ok mostly the lack of writing is due to the ill. but whatever.
Posted by michele at 10:28 PM | Comments (3)
February 18, 2003
GUEST BLOG by jason
(Editor's note: to see the first installment in the snow trilogy(?perhaps there will be more?) click on more and read it all. most of you probably got it in an email yesterday anyway. end note.)
Dethroned
Well, okay, maybe I jumped the gun a bit when I accepted the anointment from the council of elders (actually it was three stuffed animals and a bottle of Cortizone). It turns out that snow was just conning me, playing me for a fool. A very very cold fool. It continued to snow through Sunday night and all yesterday and even some of today. I spent the better part of yesterday and this morning shoveling the previously mentioned driveway (it goes on for daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaays. It’s like “Roots.”) I had to be at an interview at nine this morning, and I thought I would be fine. I put so much of my sweat and tears and bile into that driveway (Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaays!) that I couldn’t even imagine the car not accepting the hard work I put in. I was wrong, of course, and the car kept spitting up snow and bile but not budging. Also, every time I would try to leave the garage, the car (which is a van, not a car) would scrape the roof. I didn’t understand at the time why this was happening, but the snow was still so high outside that it was pushing the van far into the sky. So I get out and call the people at the interview to say I may be a half-day late and put another excruciating hour of work and bile into the driveway (the length of which is like the coastline of New Hampshire if it were an island). After that hour I was shoveling out more bile than snow, so FINALLY the lady next door—who had a snow blower thing and didn’t really look like she wanted to share it—gets all friendly and neighborly and says, “Oh, would you like to use the blower?” I said yes, even though I was practically done by that point (I couldn’t turn down the opportunity to use a snow blower. I highly recommend the experience, by the way). But then when I get the car out of the garage finally, the mechanical door won’t close properly, so I try to make it go back up, and it doesn’t want to do that either. So I get out and help it. In the final analysis, I didn’t really end up helping it so much as send a heavy rain of glass shattering on the floor. Yep, broke it. Some of the structure of the door, too, though I sort of pieced it back together after getting out all of the glass. I don’t feel too bad about it, though, considering the cards were all stacked against me, meteorologically speaking. But I do guess it’s partly my fault for not diagnosing the problem of the car hitting the roof quickly enough. It certainly doesn’t help my guilt that my aunt and uncle should be getting my email about the door right after the message about her brother being dead. No joke—the other brother called me to see what the best way to get a hold of her was.
On the more positive end of the spirit stick, I got a job as a preschool teacher. I went today (four hours late, after having to navigate the vast tundra of my driveway in reverse. I couldn’t turn around, it’d be like turning around on a bobsledding track) and got the position immediately, and then immediately thereafter met the most adorable children in the world, and then immediately thereafter was totally bored by my responsibilities there, but then was immediately thereafter ecstatic to learn that only the female employees could change diapers—Yeah, arbitrariness!
That’s it. Love Jason
Turns out I’m the King of Snow
The big news of the week is that I kicked snow’s ass. And it wasn’t even that hard. It’s momma clearly never taught it how to fight.
I had a dinner date last night with Jacob’s parents (it was lovely) where they live, near the Jersey Shore. I don’t live anywhere near the Jersey Shore. It’s a good hour and some when the weather is good, and I can now say with confidence that when the weather is bad, it’s a good two and a half. It was fine on the way there, but it got real ugly on the way back. According to the news, I drove last night through the worst storm in seven years. And I’m not dead! In fact, I’m not dead to such an extent that I’ve been crowned the King of Snow by a council of elders. Seriously, it was scary as fuck. I had no idea what Jesus could unleash until last night. The governor declared a state of emergency and closed all the highways to non-emergency vehicles. So I was an outlaw, too! It was perfect, too, cause I had my outlaw music playing (16 Horsepower) and was passing bulldozer things right and left and I was feeling like I could even smoke a cigarette. Actually the tape recorder fucked up, so it played a couple 16 Horsepower songs and then skipped to the next CD in the player, my uncle’s copy of Bye Bye, Birdie. That made me really mad and so I felt like even more of an outlaw. The radio said to stay the cock off the roads because you can get stopped and fined just for being on the highway, and I thought, “Yeah, like a cop is gonna pull me over into a heap of snow, get out of his nice warm cruiser and give me a ticket when there’s bodies to go dig out somewhere.” Plus, they saw that I was kicking snow’s ass—they must have understood that they wouldn’t have fared much better. Actually, I didn’t feel so much like an outlaw as a scared Panda bear. It’s difficult to feel tough when you’re driving in what amounts to an eighty-mile school zone.
Point is I got home safe and sound. And the pipes aren’t frozen like I thought they might be. I even did that thing they tell you to do where you leave the water running a bit so that the party never stops in the plumbing.
And the storm is supposed to quit it this evening, which is good, cause I have an interview tomorrow for a position as a pre-school teacher. They seemed pretty excited to see me, which tells me that a.) I’ll probably get the job and b.) it’s going to suck cock. But I am kind of excited about the prospect of working with the littlest pischers of them all, kids who would probably drown in little doily flakes of snow if they went outside right now. Seriously you guys, this is some fucked up shit. I’ve never seen so much of anything in my life, let alone snow. I think you need a visual to truly appreciate the magnitude, grandiosity, and voluminousness:
Jason’s Head
Jason’s Head
Jason’s Head
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Jason’s Torso Jason’s Torso Jason’s Torso
Jason’s Torso Jason’s Torso Jason’s Torso
Jason’s Torso Jason’s Torso Jason’s Torso
Jason’s Torso Jason’s Torso Jason’s Torso
Jason’s Torso Jason’s Torso Jason’s Torso
Jason’s Torso Jason’s Torso Jason’s Torso
Jason’s Torso Jason’s Torso Jason’s Torso
Jason’s Torso Jason’s Torso Jason’s Torso
Jason’s Torso Jason’s Torso Jason’s Torso
Jason’s Torso Jason’s Torso Jason’s Torso
Jason’s Torso Jason’s Torso Jason’s Torso
Jason’s Torso Jason’s Torso Jason’s Torso
Jason’s Torso Jason’s Torso Jason’s Torso
Jason’s Torso Jason’s Torso Jason’s Torso
Jason’s Torso Jason’s Torso Jason’s Torso
Jason’s Two Degrees of Separation
from Jackie Mason
Jason’s Shapely Legs Jason’s Shapely Legs
Jason’s Shapely Legs Jason’s Shapely Legs
Jason’s Shapely Legs Jason’s Shapely Legs
Jason’s Shapely Legs Jason’s Shapely Legs
Jason’s Shapely Legs Jason’s Shapely Legs
Jason’s Shapely Legs Jason’s Shapely Legs
Jason’s Shapely Legs Jason’s Shapely Legs
Jason’s Shapely Legs Jason’s Shapely Legs
Jason’s Shapely Legs Jason’s Shapely Legs
Jason’s Shapely Legs Jason’s Shapely Legs
Jason’s Shapely Legs Jason’s Shapely Legs
Jason’s Knee Caps Jason’s Knee Caps
Jason’s Knee Caps Jason’s Knee Caps
SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! SNOW!
The fact that I have no arms was an aesthetic decision. I didn’t lose them in my drunken bar brawl with Mother Nature.
In other news, I don’t hate the dog nearly the way I used to. She’s actually kind of sweet, though I’ve discovered I’m definitely a cat person. Me and the dog just don’t see eye to eye on the amount of physical activity a body should be subjected to in a day. Her argument is that there definitely should be some, and I am from another camp entirely.
In other other news, I miss you all like the cure for the plague of the twentieth century that Sean Connery has now lost. But I’m pretty happy here, I think.
That’s all I care to say at the moment. Hope to here from you all soon.
Love Jason
Editor's note: i apologize for jason's head not being properly situated on his body, i am still having some difficulty formatting with MT even with all the new spangled features. deal with the head over the left shoulder, my friends, pretend jason has become a default hunchback, i dinna care.
p.s. sorry hunchback-jason.
Posted by michele at 09:00 PM | Comments (10)
February 15, 2003
coachella (again. cause i never tire talking of it.)
more than likely true. coachella this year will have the beastie boys and:
Also on board is a strong roster of DJs and electronica figures (Underworld, Groove Armada, Darren Emerson, Timo Maas, Richie Hawtin, et al.) and a presence of the burgeoning electroclash world (Fischerspooner, Ladytron, Felix da Housecat).
Mexico's Kinky and Café Tacuba represent Latin rock, with Sweden's Soundtrack of Our Lives and Germany's Stereo Total adding international reach.
Others confirmed include Ben Harper, Johnny Marr, Tortoise, Polyphonic Spree, Cat Power, Ben Kweller, Hot Hot Heat, Joseph Arthur, Thievery Corporation, Dirty Vegas and a package of artists from New York underground hip-hop label Def Jux."
Posted by michele at 11:52 PM | Comments (16)
couch!!
i got a couch! the couch is here! it was so great. i had to get up at 9:30 cause my mom was going to be gone and they were supposed to be bringing it between 9:30 and 12:30. of course they came after my mom got back and i hid in the kitchen the entire time the mover men were here out of sheer fright. so thank god they didn't come while i was alone in the house as i am obviously not equipped to deal with strangers. even strangers that bring me gorgeous huge new couches. it's so big! in the store it was all lived in and squishy from all the potential buyers who have sat in it. this one though is an great big fluff ball of a couch that's all bulging and jumpable. which is what i've been doing all day so far. and i took some pictures so that those of you who will never come to my house can see what a beautiful piece of furniture i now own. (kristen: own! nwo! now! won!) (ps there's this one picture where you can see the tv. i am not watching porn i swear.) jump-o! new couch i love you!
Posted by michele at 07:06 PM | Comments (6)
February 14, 2003
chat
i added a chat feature over to the right underneath the purple picture of me. it's got some irritating pop-up ads when you first start it but is otherwise not half bad. and there's smiley faces. which everyone assumes i need like i need a hole in the ground to put my gourd. so pretty much it's great. and i just wanted to let you all know it was there. and to gloat that i spent like the last hour and a half writing with jason in the not-so-far east on it. muah ha ha ha. but then he left me for a dog. rejected.
Posted by michele at 03:48 PM | Comments (2)
biker boyz
horrible! and it went on FOREVER. i don't know what possessed me to see this movie. but it was a very bad idea. some of the racing was all right if you like adrenaline fueled competition. everything else was awful. the random plot twist that really the kid is the king of cali's son and not slick will's was DUMB. and the end was stupid. and kid rock was in it. kid fucking rock. uuuurrrrrrgh.
i like the z on the end. and brenden fehr (was on roswell) and that i saw it in an almost empty theatre with only two other people--both female--and some old dood who walked in about 1.5 hours into it and watched the end. and i was in concord no less. concord.
Posted by michele at 10:23 AM | Comments (0)
how to lose a guy in 10 days
drivel. occasionally entertaining. but mainly due to the supporting characters. that's really all i have to say about it.
oh wait i did have some more to say. the thing i've been wondering about lately is that if the movie industry goes through cycles that reflect the political and social happenings in the U.S. what does it mean that one of the major outputs lately has been romantic comedies set in new york and the surrounding area? are they trying to inundate us with sappy cheese in order to erase the reality of 9/11 or something? it's just that there's this, maid in manhattan, two weeks notice, the guru-- any more? it's a fascinating contradiction in my opinion and i'm just curious as to whether it's premeditated or not.
Posted by michele at 10:18 AM | Comments (2)
February 13, 2003
shanghai knights
jackIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEE chAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNN!!!
OOOOOOOOOOOOOween wIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLsoNNNNNN!!!
although the constant historical references could be annoying (charlie chaplin? you don't say! sherlock holmes? fascinating! knighting authur conan doyle and calling him arty? well i'll be!) the fight scenes were sweet! jackie chan i love you! i can't even begin to list all the cool kicking and punching and absurd background music, but some of my faves are: the umbrella fight scene and the umbrella dance to the music from singing in the rain with the cute little poses. and the sword fighting one and the hotel revolving door one. and the dunking owen wilson in the water one. and the chinese actress playing his sister kicked some fine booty too.
mindless (seriously) action movie. fun if you like either of the main two actors. or if your brain is the size of a turkey's. and the evil english guy is hot! (i throw that in there as a girl and as a bone to girls who are dragged to this movie by boys.)
ha ha ha! owen wilson stunt double in the background there. cause he don't do his own apparently.
Posted by michele at 09:56 AM | Comments (0)
confessions of a dangerous mind
this movie was kind of not what i was expecting. having seen the trailers, read the book, and been very, very excited i was a little let-down by george clooney's directorial ambitions. he's not a very good editor. basically the thing that was wrong with this movie was the little snippet conversations with the "real" people. totally unecessary. it was obvious that he was trying to provide the movie with validity as the opening little announcement of, "this movie is based on the true journals and tapes and so on of chuck barris" kick-started the whole debacle. but it didn't need to be pummeled like that. the "interview" scenes did nothing to advance the overall production value. they were just wasted space.
on the other hand, sam rockwell was amazing. and good old george's death scene was visually mesmerizing though also slightly mystifying. and completely at odds with how byrd dies in the book. which leads me to the other point. the diversions from barris' own autobiography were astounding. now i know that he wrote more books and that they could have been drawing on other sources of information that i know nothing about but still. STILL. so many things completely different. fucking amazing.
but it's good. it's interesting. i'd really recommend the book too though because it was a fantastic read.
Posted by michele at 09:40 AM | Comments (0)
the guru
this movie is basically silly fluff. but the flashy costumes are nice. and the singing and dancing. and the pornography film-making. but heather graham cannot act. do not be deceived by her sexy body. she is a horrible actress. HORRIBLE. i cannot stress this enough.
one of the nice transitions in the movie went from when ramu is leaving india and arrives in america. india=color, life, elephants in the street! new york=really, really grey. it was a good juxtaposition. it was really the only interesting facet to the cinematography.
it could have used more singing. it could have used more dancing. but what are you going to do. it was still fun. and funny. even without the dancing indian turkeys.
Posted by michele at 09:02 AM | Comments (1)
you can keep your terrible weather, perverted killers, and spotted dick
i find it vaguely amusing how i'm running out of things to say. i mean sometimes there's action and drama! and then other times i'm at a complete loss so i dredge up embarressing middle school stories or something. and that's just plain stupid. why do i feel this driving compunction to post once a day even when i have absolute shit to say? weblogs are tricky things, my friends. full of tribulation and the beating of the women. i'm coming up on having been blogging for a year soon. and that's a long time. not as long as some people have been doing it (ian) but still.
last night i went on a "date" with the cockless-tease-wonder. but honestly i am over that and really very happy for how happy she is with her living with the boyfriend and getting a puppy and rushing home to the "family" to see how the new baby is doing. it's all very cute.
there's this thing like the aidswalk only it's a hip-hop party which involves no walking. is anyone interested? it could be fun. Move Against Aids.
Posted by michele at 08:54 AM | Comments (5)
February 11, 2003
ho ho ho
looks like ups has a new cock of the walk to replace pierce.
in addition, someone from langlow appears to be occasionally coming to check out our webpages. if you go to the statistics pages you can see that one of the IP addresses is langlow1.ups.edu s/he was at mine in january and now more recently this month has been to visit three quarters
this troubles me. well. not troubles so much as intrigues. who are you langloid? why don't you comment?
Posted by michele at 01:39 PM | Comments (14)
witchy
once i broke into c. miller's car. which was actually not locked so it wasn't a big deal. and it was sitting in front of my house at the time so i didn't feel too burglerish. however looking back now i do feel like a huge dork. because what was i doing in his car? i was attempting to cast a love spell using roses and incantation charms. oh yes. you think i'm lying. but really, really not. i was even dressed up in a new age-y caftan. and then i did a little dance under the moon paying special attention to feeling the new spring growth coming out of the dirt between my bare toes in order to properly infuse the spell with earth fertility magic.
i thought of this last night when i was trying to fall asleep and i could smell the dirt outside my window and it smelled so fresh and all waking up from winter and wet and happy mulching. and i missed, all of a sudden, the stupid things i used to do and all those books i used to own.
my point here is: valentine's is coming up and you'd all better keep an eye on your cars. if you find anything in the glove compartment--dried petals, mouse bones, razor blades, i'm not saying that it's not possible that i double negative might not have had a hand in it.
Posted by michele at 12:33 PM | Comments (4)
February 09, 2003
5 dolla tiggle tiggle?
fuck it's too early to be up after going to bed at somewhere around 2:30 in the morning. suuuuckkkkkkking.
and what am i doing up so early you might very well be asking yourself. business meeting. online business meeting at 8am my time. in order to accomodate people in europe. isn't that fucking INSANE? what am _I_ doing with a business. when did i become all entrepreneurish-shit? i don't even know how to spell it. and with world domination plans in effect too, what with the far flung group placement. moannnnn but it's so early. wah wah wah.
last night was hella fun. i ate entirely too much. i got to see my friends. the music was FANTASTIC for a happy change. i think i caught some james brown stylings. so thank you to everybody and thank you to kim for bringing tasty cake and candles too and then NOT SINGING HAPPY BIRTHDAY. i appreciate that so much. stupid song. just eat the cake. is all good.
Posted by michele at 08:25 AM | Comments (18)
February 07, 2003
shit-cube
so upon reading ms. brown's article in the squelch which sean provided the link for, i realized something depressing. i completely embody the second sentence of her "diatribe":
Amazingly, in some cities white middle class youth waste their lives going to overpriced universities in preparation for withering away in a cubical instead of taking advantage of all the riches that gutterpunkdom has to offer.
i don't know if ups counts so much even though it was overpriced, but i feel the tacoma aroma sound which is more pungent than puget possibly decreases its monetary value a little. oh wait, but i still paid for it. exorbitantly. and what did i learn? bullshit! and now what am i doing? stuck in a shit-cube every damn day! making up stupid fake hyphenated words in order to indulge my predilection for swearing and probably trying to be "cute." i might as well just bang my head on the wall of said soft pliable shit-cube and not even gain knots and bruises. bloody nose? ha! not in this lifetime, shit-cube-sucker. might as well just beat your hyphenated nonsense which isn't even funny into the ground with a fuck-hammer-hammer-fuck-fuck-hammer.
Posted by michele at 08:47 AM | Comments (11)
February 06, 2003
cat in a cone
i've never had an animal that had to wear one of those white plastic cones on their heads so they wouldn't lick parts of themselves or whatever but now that this is a horrid run-on sentence the point is that i have an animal like that now. oh yes! cat in a cone! ha ha ha ha! the amusement is endless i tell you. he can't walk (this could be in part because of the drugs). he can't eat (this also could be nausea from aforementioned drugs). he can't lick the disgusting patch of shaved fur and embedded drain system for the infectious inflammation (this could be because he knows it'll taste gross). but really it's none of those parenthetical things! it's the cone! ha ha ha ahhhhh...... stupid pisser cat. that's what he gets for messing with my fattus waller.
no but really i feel a little badly for sammy because fats has yet to be hurt, ripped off claws in his fur notwithstanding, and all the other cats (teevsers, sammy, and fuck-face) have all developed some small to major injuries. sammy's is just the worst so far in that it got infected and now there's a cone-need. (snicker. cat cone.) but he looks so depressed and he's not allowed outside or to socialize with the others and he's IN A FUCKING CONE. so yeah, little sympathy. poor kitty. and he used to be such a sweetheart too. when he was wee. but now all he does is pee. hee. i'm on a roll! don't stop me!
a girl from the second floor mail room asked me if i lived with sean this morning. i was a little flabbergasted. i said no. and then she was like oh ok sorry. and i was like oh it's all right i mean, i know sean. and then she went away. the transaction of events was just as i have described. but now i'm too shy to go down and ask her why she thought i lived at ward street. i don't even hardly ever go to ward street. or how does she even know that i know sean? puzzling. it's probably the david boy who works down there and was at the pirate party. mmm pirates....yar!
Posted by michele at 01:22 PM | Comments (3)
February 05, 2003
"minutes"
apparently the japanese word for minutes is both fun and pun, (depending on what minute it is) eight minutes for example is happun. mind you, it's not pronounced like fun. it's pronounced like foon. the point is that there has to be a good joke in there. something about time flying when you're having fun. or poontang. but after 45 minutes of desultorily considering it last night in class, all i came up with was that i was fucking tired and time was moving really slowly and no i do not want to count down hours one more time, you bad bad japanese teaching man. let me go! let me go!
Posted by michele at 11:14 AM | Comments (10)
February 04, 2003
things...
THINGS I MISS:
my pee partner, marina.
a commonplace email conversation:
michele: goddammit i have to go to the bathroom again.
marina: shit dude, i've only drunk like a third of my 8 x 8oz.
michele: well you better hurry the fuck up. you've got a three hour time difference on me and i'm almost done with mine. sucka.
marina: shut up! i'm going to go pee!
michele: ha ha! neener neener!
THINGS I WANT TO SEE:
...
last night at the guru movie, a conversation between nuala and i:
m & n: dancing indians! dancing indians! eeee!
m: you know what would make this movie perfect?
n: no, what?
m: dancing indian TURKEYS!
spastic giggling and shushing as the movie starts with a movie of dancing indians.
Posted by michele at 05:51 PM | Comments (5)
presents
ahem. just in case anyone needs any additional gift ideas for me for THIS SATURDAY.
and if those two get bought, the guy has multiple other ones for sale, so you can find another copy of either of the above.
chobits (search dvd chobits if this one gets all bought up.)
then there's my amazon wish list, (link to the right). i think this is funny cause there's no way any of you will buy me any of these, though jacob might be briefly tempted to buy all of kenshin on dvd himself. and kim and jolie already got me presents. and probably everyone else is already on top of it. or something. (did i suddenly strike a nerve i wonder? are none of you really on top of it? are all of you hoping to let it slide right on by this delicious oppurtunity to throw six years till thirty in my face? threatening lowring brow but with incipient tears probability, "you haven't forgotten my birthday is this saturday, right?" how could you what with the surprise party already? dried up tears, affable laugh. ha silly me. sooooo who wants to go to 26 mix and affect some maniac dancing moves on saturday night?)
Posted by michele at 12:27 PM | Comments (10)
azteca!
so last night i had some strange dreams. at one point i was sitting in the front yard with sean talking when all of a sudden he decided to create an archaeological dig and discover an ancient aztec temple. underneath my lawn. who knew my house was resting on a big hollowed out, hallow halls sacred-ness. certainly not me. sean seemed to know though. and then we were going out to eat with 2 people i didn't know and right when i was being introduced to them, kristen called on my cell phone and i had to answer it so i excused myself and started walking towards this set of glass doors at one end, and right when i'm almost there this voice calls my name and kristen on the other end goes really silent and i turn around to see kenny galumphing towards me. with the hair still. but in non-black clothes. it was frightening, mainly the blue and white striped shirt. and i said to kris, "uhh i'll have to call you back." and hung up on her. kenny was immediately suspicious that it had been kristen and i made elaborate lies about how it was nuala and then escaped back to the table where sean and the two strange boys were.
and that's really all i remember. most peculiar.
so as most of you know or have read about already, my cousin john is getting married to a lovely girl named katherine this summer. and she made a webpage for it! fun! so you should all go and see it: John and Katherine's page of LUV. it's really cute. although my computer here at work isn't letting me see the picture of them at the top, hopefully you all will be able to. there's a password to get access to the guestbook which you don't really need cause you don't know them and have no reason to comment there. so nuts to you on that point. i on the other hand did comment. and did so before realizing that it was a serious guest book and not a flippant one. i was very ashamed of myself after that. and speaking of my cousins, what the hell happened to james the sporadic commenter? he's apparently too busy going on dates. hwee. go james go james get your groove on. i'm going to shut up now.
i have a semi-annual review today before my 6 month probationary period is up at this job. so i'll let you know if i still have a job at the end of the day or if somehow i've managed to get myself fired or just out of sheer spite went and quit. fucking berkeley.
Posted by michele at 09:04 AM | Comments (4)
February 02, 2003
jiggly wiggly
so apparently jason left just in the nick of time. even though the earthquakes weren't felt in the city at all for some reason. still 5 in one morning ranging from 3.8 to 4.2 has got to be telling us something about the slow and steady drift into the ocean. did ANYBODY else feel them besides me, my mom, and kristen's mom? i've gotten, "did you make them up?" from nuala and "you sound like robot tron." from kristen. both not very supportive of my delusions.
anyway, i haven't heard from jason yet. but i'm assuming he made it to the frozen tundra of jersey all right. all right there, jason? all right. i just watched my birthday present from jason, 'about a boy'. damn fine movie. thank you jason! and earlier today i came THIS CLOSE to buying the book at bonanza. but then i bought 2 other books instead. one of which is by the author of 'Mara, Daughter of the Nile.' fuck i loved that book. we read it in 6th grade. the same grade that i first got glasses, bras, and stabbed in the hand with an exacto knife. it's all about timing.
ahem and now for the picture portion of this post. there's new NY'sE pictures of nuala's that i finally scanned and put on eloise. and there's some of the andrew molera camping trip too.
and i also wanted to share these two with you all from my christmas in oregon.:
christmas 2002 #1 (set-up--i am stylish in the snow, i tell you.)
christmas 2002 #2 (group photo--cowboy snowman! later on his arms fell off.)
Posted by michele at 07:05 PM | Comments (7)