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January 31, 2004

binkey (not the horse)

when we were in college, the director of the honors program gave us this lovely farewell speech at the spring banquet. celebrating the entire honors class from the university of puget sound, 2001, i bet you were not expecting this to come back and bite you in the patootie. this is what we get for me moving and cleaning and rediscovering lost paperwork. shame. acres of shame. and also a befuddled regret as to why erica and i don't have a club already. what the hell.

The Dream of Binkey – 2001

After a very long silence, Binkey the Prophetic Python has spoken once again. It seems that Binkey is back to eating too many mushrooms, although he was warned to stay away from then by his shaman. He had had a very strange dream recently, the contents of which he asked to be conveyed to you at this august gathering. The dream has to do with the future of the Honors program class of 2001.

Binkey dreamed that shortly after graduation from UPS Michele and Erica opened a nightclub in San Francisco whose main attraction was John Vann doing the Brazilian Dance-Fight. So popular was this act that it was being turned into an animation film by Sam MacIntosh, the script for which was composed collectively by Julie Miller, Nancy Case, and Jenny Nessel. Anticipating a world-wide audience, the script was being translated into Persian by Sarah Hashemi. And it had the good fortune to be promoted by the public relations firm of Erickson and Liz Coen. Its producer was Jason, not because Jason knew anything about animation or Brazilian Dance-Fighting, but because he lived in LA, and that’s what people who live in LA do.

One night unfortunately Monica Clark broke her arm after a particularly wild set of Brazilian Dance-Fighting. On the way to the hospital, Monica realized that she should have stayed in Singapore, where you get twenty years to life for square dancing in the privacy of your own home. In any case, in the emergency room of the local hospital her arm was set by classmate Ryan Bennett, and her lab work was done in Lori Luke’s lab.

After this incident, the EPA decided to close down the joint for repeated violations of the noise pollution code. The EPA squad was led by recent law school graduates Hanna Aoyagi, Erin Vranas, and Kelly Briggs, all looking for a big break in their careers by busting the Brazilian Dance-Fight craze in San Francisco.

In spite of this set-back, Sam’s film was released and even shown at the Cannes film festival, where it was presented by Marina Green, now heading an international organization promoting world peace through the viewing of animation films of Brazilian Dance-Fighting. The president of this not-for-profit organization turned out to be Laura Handy (she likes the work, even though she does not get paid for it). Amy Levad, another member of the staff offered accompanying seminars on the religious and ethical significance of Brazilian Dance-Fighting. Her seminars are simultaneously translated into French by Anna Joujan (Cannes is in France, after all).

Because their joint is closed, Michele and Erica are forced to flee the country. They book a slow boat to Australia through Kelly Doxey, now the president of Princess Cruise and Tour Lines. On the way, however, they abandon plans for Australia, and instead open a new club on the desert island governed by Jacob and his merry henchmen, who are seeking world domination and basic evil through molecular biology.

In any case, viewer responses in Cannes to Sam’s Brazilian Dance-Fight animation were mixed. Greg Lois said he liked the music, but that he had seen better plots in string theory math textbooks. Doug disagreed, however, claiming that the film was (and here I quote him directly) “more fun than a barrel full of monkeys.” When asked his view of the film, Bill Altig said he did not attend.

That’s all the news from Binkeyland, where all the pythons are prophetic and all the mushrooms are above average in hallucinogenic properties.

Posted by michele at 11:46 PM | Comments (14)

zoomanitarian

i just got home from dropping jason off and as i was walking up to my door, i saw something small, and black and white moving across the sidewalk. instantly i panicked thinking it was moo who had somehow managed to escape the locked doors and windows. but then i noticed the odd humping movement of the lower back as it walked and concluded, skunk. how is it possible for a skunk to live in the middle of the city? sure the park is pretty close by, but why then is the skunk not IN the park? i am upset by this blatant disregard for property lines. he's totally going to get hit by a car. i therefore must feed him from my dwindling supply of cat food which my mother provided me with upon moving. poor little skunk guy.

it's a SKUNK! what am i THINKING?!

Posted by michele at 11:33 PM | Comments (6)

January 27, 2004

swimming

there's this thing i found out about called "jump the shark" wherein there's a specific episode in every television show's life where they do something so absurd to garner ratings and just then plummet into stupidity. it seems to be very related to bringing animals onto a show. like on friends when they introduced the monkey as a character. this also works for all those old movies of reagan's with the ape. fucking monkeys. i think it does not count if you're speaking of mr. ed though. because hell, that horse was clever.

anyway, it's kind of fun to look up your favorite shows and see the voting process about which episode it was that flirted with shark bait death.

Posted by michele at 01:59 PM | Comments (4)

know what time it is?

coachella time! time to begin the rabid obsession which is me.

the concert is may 1st and 2nd.

so far confirmed that i have read about on the webpage are: (drum roll) the cure, radiohead, and the pixies. jacob, tell me you are soooo going.

there should be more info soon. but if those three are true, then holy shit, who needs more info?

just went to the cure webpage to confirm and it says kraftwerk and the flaming lips! flaming! i am so there!!

Posted by michele at 01:09 AM | Comments (20)

January 26, 2004

stranger

i feel lately like someone who just pops in here once a week and never has time to post. this is probably because it is true. damn not having internet access of my very own yet. sucks so much ass.

anyway, today was very busy in the east bay as i used part of nuala's christmas present to go see 'win a date with tad hamilton' (thank you, nuala, thank you so much). and then i got film developed, bought a new laptop, did laundry, caught up on the internet, scanned all the photos, and uploaded them. plus i stole a microwave, snuck into 'the butterfly effect', and am carting off a certain mooser poosers in a carrier.

i really have nothing else to say about myself. i put more pictures in the musical filming folder. and then i created new albums for my apartment pictures and for that party at erica's when jolie was here. so enjoy. and...maybe i will be able to post again soon with my new laptop if it can actually access the internet. we shall see.

Posted by michele at 10:46 PM | Comments (5)

January 16, 2004

my type hibernate in rooms above

in a tone of pompous self-importance i announce that i have a one bedroom apartment in san francisco, land of oppurtunity (to blame nuala) or at least really high rents. in the outer richmond. walking distance to china beach, all the asian food i could ask for, a movie theatre, and a gigantic gold domed church.

there will be a party. soon.

if you want to offer help in carrying boxes from the street into the apartment, feel free. (that's happening this sunday afternoon)

Posted by michele at 07:10 PM | Comments (2)