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May 28, 2004
i had a bunny once
my throat really, really hurts for no good reason so i've been trying to come up with reasons why. it is my belief (firm) that they put subliminal text or images in the buffy musical episode of season 6 and that i've been singing the songs in my sleep for the past 3 nights. loudly. thus straining my tonsils. this would explain also why i dream the songs, wake up to the songs in my head, and have insomnia from the songs in my brain. fer fuck's sake. i watched the damn episode once on tuesday night and now i'm just a fooking wreck.
it got worse last night as i watched some of the special features which had clips of the musical in them so now i do clips too. just snippets of a song, over and over again. the same line. it's awful. and my throat hurts. i now curse the buffy name which has brought me low.
current insolent lyrics laughing at my pain are: "she came from the grave much graver." "first i'll kill her, then i'll save her." "bunnies aren't just cute like everybody supposes. they've got those hoppy legs and twitchy little noses. and what's with all the carrots? what do they need such good eyesight for anyway? bunnies! bunnies, it must be bunnies!" pause as they sing more of that song about facing it together they can defeat anything, "...except for bunnies..."
Posted by michele at 09:44 AM | Comments (2)
May 26, 2004
feline adoption
hello. would anybody like a cat? (not my cats. someone else's cats). if you don't take them, my mom will. and then she'll have two more. making it a grand total of....simon, sammy, fuckface, punk, setiva, and the two new ones. that's 7.
these two cats. one is, i believe, tabby and looks like punk. the other is fat, fluffy, and grey. i do not know how old they are. i could find out if you were interested. though personally i think this is a lost cause and that my mom will soon have 7 cats. when i'm gone for the month of august, she'll have 9 living at her house. you know, whenever i wonder about my future, i just have to look at my mom. the cat lady. that will be me. i think i should always live in apartments because that will seriously limit my cat taking-in ability due to space constraints. i will never go so far as to have 4 (1, 2, 3, 4) ferrets, a hedgehog, and my brother living with me though. don't make my mom take two more cats in! adopt a feline today!
Posted by michele at 09:21 AM | Comments (11)
May 25, 2004
joan jeans janice jane
the girl who plays jane in joan of arcadia is in an episode of buffy season 6. "all the way." the one before the musical. oh man i am so excited about the musical. life is so good right now. with the buffy season 6 and the overwhelmingly delightful news that anderson is moving here to sunnyvale, much like sunnydale in buffy, in july.
i really should go to bed. but...buffy season 6! buffy season 6! hot doggy!
Posted by michele at 10:50 PM | Comments (4)
May 21, 2004
vpright man
i find myself today at work propping elbow on desk, chin on hand, gazing out the window to my left, look out the front of campus, i can see the st. mary's church spires, if only i could see to the left of the left i could see the ocean. today is grey and cold but i forgot my soft beanie. if only i could see the future of the choice, the future of the future, just to the left, in the ocean. again, i prop, i look, i do not work. i wish the spires' bells would ring. i wish the spirit dell to wing.
dell - Uncertain relationship to dell, rogue's cant 16c.-17c. for "a young girl of the vagrant class." "A Dell is a yonge wenche, able for generation, and not yet knowen ... by the vpright man" [Thomas Harman, 1567].
Posted by michele at 01:31 PM | Comments (2)
May 20, 2004
baby face
ellie and the baby were just here and since i have stolen jason's digital camera i made good use of it by photographing tyler in the beanie i made for him while they were here. i took some other pictures. good ones. with ellie and tyler. and moo sniffing his big round head. but...i accidentally deleted them. meem sworry.
Posted by michele at 03:18 PM | Comments (11)
reaction to the series finale of angel (no actual spoiler)
dear joss whedon,
fuck shit fucking fuck fuck fuckity shit fuck fucking fuck shit shit shit shit fucker fucking fuck fuck shitty shit fucking fucker fuck!!!!!!
ARGH!!!! wordless screaming, beating rage, anger, horror, sobbing.
i love you. i hate you. i love you.
goodbye,
me
Posted by michele at 12:54 AM | Comments (9)
May 19, 2004
"i am a fish!"
on monday i went to a tibetan buddhist meditation center in SF for class/a paper/a presentation. there was supposed to be an art show. there were 15-20, size of index cards, pictures, childish drawings, and on one, a three line "poem" which didn't rhyme. jason, convinced that taking pictures of tibetans steals their souls, kept pointing at things and muttering, "no soul!" i, attempting to maintain some sort of professional decorum, was glad i wasn't drinking milk since it would have come up my nose.
somehow then the three people who were there (white, middle age, two boys, one girl) forced us to sit down and then talked to me for a while about my paper and about buddhism. somehow then we got taken into thier alter room and sacrificed to the soul-less god. or we got trapped into watching a video with them on dharma art by chogyam trungpa rinpoche. the man showed a slideshow of artwork from around the world and made spurious comments about what sort of shambhalistic principle they espoused. "no laziness", "no regret", "universal monarch", "jolly good show that one". that last comment was directed to the venus painting where she's standing on the oyster shell. lecherous, dirty tibetan monk. sheesh. (he was married, but openly had sex with students, drank like a fish and smoked like a furnace).
tonight i have a to give a presentation in class about my paper and my experience at a religious institution/event having to do with the subject matter of my paper. it's tempting just to whip out some alcohol, doodle some art, and hold it up and yell things like, "straight and simple!" or "i am drunk!"
Posted by michele at 11:25 AM | Comments (1)
May 14, 2004
eyeliner and pretty boys
the other day i met a soto zen buddhist priest who spoke to me of dogen and dogen's chinese master of buddhism. when they first met, he said to me, dogen thought, you are my master, and the master looked at dogen and thought, you are my disciple. he looked at me and i looked at him, and i wondered what he was saying underneath.
Posted by michele at 08:38 AM | Comments (14)
May 12, 2004
hentai and sex offenders
yesterday, or the day before, i got an email from my very favoritest aunt who works for the prison system in oregon. (she works in the building where 'one flew over the cuckoo nest' was filmed. fucking creepy place. totally haunted. there's a ghost in this black dress which rustles who wanders around at night. oh man. it's like the floor goes creak, creeeeeak, and her dress goes russsstle, russstle russstle.)
that's besides the point.
anyway, my aunt sent me this email containing part of a dialogue between the members of the Sex Offenders Supervision Network concerning the use of japanese anime porn as a tool which can reinforce deviant behavior among sex offenders. due to their job title they're going to ban anime renting and buying for sex offenders in prison and on parole.
now obviously, i would agree that some hentai is seriously fucked up, what with the tentacles and the graphic rape and so on. but there's a lot of discussion over whether or not television and the like produce behavior patterns. i have no idea what the statistics are in japan for rape or sexual offensives (although now i've read this paper i know quite a bit more. and from this i would venture to say that anime porn comics and videos are not affecting sexual offenses in japan. ["It is certainly clear from our data and analysis that a massive increase in available pornography in Japan has been correlated with a dramatic decrease in sexual crimes and most so among youngsters as perpetrators or victims." quote from the paper linked above] but in america this might be a different story as certainly there is an incredibly large percentage difference between japan and the US in offense cases of this sort.)
my point with all this is that i think doing a case study on prisons and sex offender parolees and how hentai anime affects them (or not) would be really, really interesting. i tried to find out if any research had been done already, but when you put "hentai" and "sex offender" into a search engine, all you get is porn sites. and...probably now i will be getting a lot of pornographic comments on this page. sigh.
(click below to read the comment from the SOSN that my aunt sent me)
My sense is that your friends are more into the mainstream Anime, b/c Hentai Anime is much more violent and sexual. It is not "connected to pornography", it goes beyond normal pornographic material. Whole series revolve around degradation, rape, and molestation. The women portrayed are a majority of the time child-like waifs secretly desiring to be sexually assaulted. There is even a more hardcore type called "Doujin" that will often revolve around bloodletting in the course of the sexual assault. Just b/c you weren't exposed to it doesn't mean your clients can not get a hold of it off any computer hooked to the internet or in the back of Anime magazines sold at the local bookstore. Receiving Hentai or Doujin through the mail isn't monitored like Child Pornography is. Beyond the movies and comic books, there are even video games in which the player can portray a rapist and make decisions on how to best rape or molest an unsuspecting person. Any of these mediums are strife with possibilities to fuel deviant arousal patterns and a threat to any relapse prevention plan. Don't kid yourself, it's dangerous stuff, b/c not only is it more violent & sexual than your run-of-the-mill pornography, but the cartoon-like medium also allows the viewer a degree of disconnection with the brutality of the assault. It can be more enticing to feed the deviant sexual fantasies of the offender while desensitizing them to the reality of the seriousness of the act due to the cartoon-ish nature of the Anime. Not all Anime is Hentai or Doujin, but I think we need to be aware that it is out there and readily available. If you are truly interested in seeing what this stuff I'm talking about is really like, pick up a copy of the videos like "Black Bible", "S&M School", or "La Blue Girl" or comics such as "Sexctasy", "Taboo", or "Slut Girl"-all of which surprisingly can be purchased at or through local comic book stores, and I think your opinion will change dramatically.
Posted by michele at 02:35 PM | Comments (8)
May 10, 2004
bobbing for
kati vol, you're welcome on my apple cart anytime.
more pictures of the cherry blossom festival are up. also, a couple pictures from kim's birthday. umm, one of the pictures...is a little strange. i didn't realize i had saved my bizarro version and not the normal version. i was busy playing with special effects in MGI Photosuite yesterday. sorry, jason.
please note that kristen, christine, and myself did not attend this birthday party. i repeat, we were not there.
how cute though is this picture?
excellent composition if i do say so myself.
Posted by michele at 09:38 AM | Comments (1)
May 07, 2004
happy birthday, dianna!
you are my masses-of-braided-hair-extensions guru. we need to do that again.
i'm writing you a poem for your birthday.
dianna
you've got two n's in your name
because you abhor being the same
when life is looking down
you will make that frown
remember that time we went and got hair?
all those french black women didn't use nair
said rude things about us in their frog language
against which slurs i took quite a bit of umbrage
that didn't really rhyme, but i don't care
because today's the day you came into the world bare
that was a terrible poem. happy birthday.
p.s. the 4 things on your amazon wish list are from 2002. are they even still valid?
Posted by michele at 12:41 PM | Comments (7)
May 05, 2004
cheese platter palaver
him: well, at least we'll always have paris.
her: you know, that's kind of cheesy.
him: sometimes i'm like that.
her: well, you're still gouda 'nough for me!
him: you're kind of cheesy.
her: ...now you're supposed to add, 'maybe i should call you swiss, cause i like your holes.'
him: that kind of stepped over the line from cheesy into revolting.
her: i do that. but you like my holes anyway, right?
him: i like the one you're talking out of right now.
her: noyce.
Posted by michele at 12:46 PM | Comments (0)
May 03, 2004
KRISTEN: not for your reading
really, in addition to kristen, no one should bother to read this.
1: people who watch angel and don't want the end of the series to be hinted at to them.
2: people who don't watch angel, buffy, or give a fuck about joss whedon.
dear joss whedon (letter #2, letter #1),
i wanted to say that sometimes you amaze me. there have been times on angel where you present something so against all tv ethics that it's just completely, startlingly beautiful. this can be seen in that episode third season where darla stabs herself with a stake and dusts away to leave the squalling infant connor. that image will haunt me forever.
equally haunting is last week's episode where the demon that killed fred and took over her body, shoves a stake thru spike's heart, her hand or some sort of wicked blade into wesley, kills lorn dismissively, takes an ax and chops off angel's head as he leaps to jump on her so his dust is in motion as it dissipates as motes in the air. considering that you've already killed off cordelia and fred (the only females of worth on the show), all that is left is a man's man world, and now you're going to kill what's left. fitting tribute to the end of the show, really.
now sure, the deaths were taken back as an aberration in illyria's (demon who wears fred's body) time-line and angel saves the day in the end, but we know at this point that all you're doing is foreshadowing the end of the series. half the cast who have been dying all season will die again for real. if not more. in buffy's last season you killed one person. anya. in angel, you've already killed the heart and the second heart, what are you looking to rip from us next? souls? MY heart stops again as i watch my memory play spike and angel dusting. is this a punishment for being canceled? is this really the best you could do? bring. it. on.
love,
michele
Posted by michele at 10:03 AM | Comments (1)