Monthly Archives: June 2005

last day of work! last day of work!

it’s pretty exciting. also sad. so far i’ve gotten a present. i haven’t opened it yet because i’m vaguely uncomfortable getting a present and it seems rude to open it. and it’s wrapped so pretty.

soon i’ll be having pizza party lunch. yum.

and then next tuesday i’ll be flying to greece. now that is a present i am looking forward to unwrapping. we’re staying in athens for 4 days, istanbul for 4, on crete for 5, on santorini for 6, and london for 3. i’ve booked all the hotels, one of the ferries, a show in london, and a day tour to delphi. there’s going to be shopping, eating, and looking at ruins. alongside some sunsets, swimming, and mucho amounts of tanning.

life in a cul-de-sac can be pretty dull. nothing much ever happens. no fast cars race up and down our street. cats aren’t flattened and their claws shredded off. people say hello and gift garden vegetables (adam’s currently working on 3 foot cucumbers to give away). you wash your car in the driveway, you keep up with the neighborhood gossip.

and then new neighbors move in and the nightmare commences. they have a dog. sure, he’s very friendly when you rescue him because you’re driving home and find him wandering loose halfway down the block. but he’s also a barker. a loud barker. at 3 AM. not as loud as the car alarm which takes every opportunity to go off in the wee hours of the morning when dawn is just breaking over the horizon and one is nowhere near contemplating arising.

the old neighbors, i also disliked in general, but these new neighbors are a breed apart. at least the old neighbors had been around since i was 3 years old. at least them i knew. one of the grandsons turned purple in my backyard after tying rope around his neck and the top of the slide and then going down. adam and i spent precious moments watching his face mottle before i ran to get my parents. another grandson who came every summer with his younger brother we adored and picked up texan accents from within a matter of days which we put to beneficial use playing cowboys. then there was the incident just last year with the great-granddaughter and the cat punk/J.C. i hated her, sure enough, but i like punk. adam was a pall-bearer at the grandfather’s funeral who died equidistant between my grandfather and my father. the point is that i had history with the former tenants. and now these new people with their dogs and their cars. this is going to take some getting used to.

On this bitter Wednesday in the Land of West Michele, a special proclamation is hereby issued declaring a general pinking of the core and a suspicious sticky leakage at the corners of the Land.

All neighboring lands are issued a warning to maintain their distance, particularly in the Ocular Region. The Land of West Michele issues a special notice to the Nation of Me to not, under any circumstances, lift the Nation of Me’s hug embargo.

The citizens of West Michele on the western side of the land under duress should perform interpretive prayer dances for Antibiotic Rain and the citizens on the eastern side should stay within their own borders and not get rowdy with those in the west. If this terrible affliction is to be contained, all citizens must follow these injunctions.

Hopefully, if all goes well, next Wednesday should see a distinct lifting of the miasma of bitterness–the pinkage dispersed and the viscous leaking curtailed.

All hail the Land of West Michele’s continued health! Long live Michele!

last night i had a small electrical fire. this occurred when trying to get onto my new twin size bed, because i’m back to being 10. upon attempting to pull out a light plug from the wall one of the prongs snapped off and fuzed into the plug in the socket below it–prompting a brief blaze, a stench of burned plastic and metal, and a horrifying tingling in my hand. at least it’s good to know that when i die, i can be easily replaced though.

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over a month ago when fuck-face (the cat) died and i was very sad, i found a condolence letter at my mom’s house from a neighbor kid down the street. which didn’t make me feel much better about fuck-face being dead or the state of grammar today in the land of california public schools, but it did allow me a small, sad laugh. i will now transcribe it here verbatim.

Austin (second signature in cursive)