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October 28, 2002
marriage is what brings us together today...
ok so this morning i got an email from my cousin's (john) girlfriend (katherine). in it the revelatory, and extremely unexpected, news of their forthcoming marriage was revealed. ok. marriage. i immediately was thrown into a giddy fright. DO ANY OF YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS?!?
1) weddings
2) children
3) the beginning of the end
john is the oldest cousin so it stands to reason that he should get married first. this i do not have a problem with. katherine is fantastic and i adore her, so the fact that she is the one joining the family i also do not have a problem with. my problem is that old though he may be, he's still only like 25! and she is 2 years younger than me, which puts her at a whopping 21! this to me seems really really young to get married. admittedly, i never really had any doubts that they would get married eventually. but next summer?! that's a little like a shot gun wedding! only...not really like one of those at all.
this means that adam is next. and then neal. AND THEN ME. i'm third in line now! third! i don't even have a boyfriend! at least adam and EVEN FUCKING NEAL have girlfriends. sort of.
family pressure has now been upped. we're all going to have to be spitting forth babies in record numbers by the time we're 30. i've only got 6 years!
nuala recommended deep breaths. nuala is on crack! (no offense to any heroin junkies or nuala.)
deep breath. ok. so i'm really happy for them deep down. really, really happy. because they are a fucking adorable couple. seriously you should see them. it's insane. and she's even started reading the anita books. and you know she can't be bad if you know what i'm talking about. but next summer...everything's going to change. this christmas even. this christmas...where she will be...and we will all be...and all the aunt and uncles will be looking at my aunt mary jealously thinking of how she is gaining a super sweet daughter in law and the potential for grandchildren way sooner than them. and then their vicious little piggy (no offense to pigs or kristen) will turn on the rest of us and I'M THIRD IN LINE!
this is really just no good from my standpoint on myself at all.
Posted by michele at October 28, 2002 10:51 AM
Comments
you’re completely right and your (our) options are either:
1. look more and more ashamed with every passing year that doesn’t see us bloated with child, or
2. pretend like we never intend to get married; drop intriguing hints about gayness; casually discuss our fabulous sex and the city type lives which involve beautiful people, late nights and expensive clothing. I’ve been trying this one out and it’s not totally unsuccessful.
Posted by: didofoot at October 28, 2002 11:12 AM
i think i’m looking at #1 here. because even if i could pull off #2, it’s power would still only last a couple of years at most before they would expect a settling down. we’re both screwed. well…you’re less screwed since you currently have a boyfriend and they all know him already. mooooaaaaaan.…
Posted by: michele at October 28, 2002 11:35 AM
I say again deep breaths. Calm down woman. You don’t have to be shooting out babies yet. And if you’re this freaked out now what happens when they’re ACTUALLY married.
Posted by: nuala at October 28, 2002 12:23 PM
Whatever you do, don’t pin your hopes on something that you know isn’t quite right.
i am 31, and of the geeze (still not as old as pants, or is it pheat?), i’ve been married for seven, yup, count ‘em, seven glorious years, have a ten-year-old daughter and a five-year-old son. but… none of it would be any good if i didn’t have the bestest wife in the world. yes, i know it sounds like schlub… seriously though, if it’s right, it’s totally RIGHT. yes, everything changes, but your happiness is much more complete, infinite, and true. sometimes i miss the carefree lifestyle, but i know that i wouldn’t change anything if it meant that i could never have met my wife, that i could never have stared into the innocent eyes of my children the moment they were born and feel their little hands grasping my finger so tightly, as if they knew that my love and protection would always be there without a word being exchanged. just a feeling, pure love.
Still, it’s not for everyone. but, you admit that #2 can only last a couple of years.
Posted by: M@ at October 28, 2002 12:24 PM
wow. the fact that you have a 10 year old daughter makes some of the things you have written on my webpage even more disgusting.
and i hope no one is worried i’m actually going to get married and pop out babies like a maniac just BECAUSE. cause hell no i would never do that. i’m just saying i’m not looking forward to the impending familial pressure. i’m still going to ignore it, brush it aside, and be snippy at it. because i am a snippy gal. like scissors.
Posted by: michele at October 28, 2002 12:32 PM
Posted by: marc at October 28, 2002 03:47 PM
Posted by: didofoot at October 28, 2002 03:51 PM
i have to vouch for m@ here. i’ve seen him in dad and husband action. he’s good. real good.
i know, sometimes he comes off low-brow, which in this case is a problem. actions only speak louder than words when you can see it.
m@’s a learner though.
slow. but a learner never-the-less.
Posted by: marc at October 28, 2002 04:06 PM
What we need is a time-share baby, one we can pass around as needed, like when aunts and uncles come in from out of town to see what you made for them. They’re supposed to be very inexpensive, and there’s this guy I know selling them. He can get us rooms at the Flamingo Hilton and tickets to Folies Bergere just for listening to him for twenty minutes.
Posted by: jason at October 28, 2002 04:18 PM
my mom knew! all along since last night she knew and she KEPT IT FROM ME! that ho! huff huff.
apparently katherine wanted to tell me herself.
my mom also assured me blank face that i needn’t hurry about the baby issue on her account as she’s apparently too “busy” to be a grandmother. you know secretly she’s lying though. she’s not that busy.
Posted by: michele at October 28, 2002 04:37 PM
can we get an ethnic baby? ethnic babies are so beautiful.
p.s. here’s hoping that jolie, who will get this, is the only “ethnic” person to see this.
Posted by: erica at October 28, 2002 04:46 PM
MY mom, on the other hand, AGAIN turned to me the other day and said “I decided what I would really like to be doing with my life right now is taking care of a baby. but I’m certainly not going to have one.”
pause while we blink at each other, she coyly intent, me terrified.
Posted by: didofoot at October 28, 2002 04:48 PM