January 11, 2005 by

pixel perfect

16 comments

Categories: Movie Reviews

Quite possibly my current most favorite movie of all time.

This movie was made by the Disney company and I am watching it right now on the Disney channel. Well, right this minute there’s a stupid commercial about another movie they’ve made which is premiering next week or something. It’s about a reality show to find a teenage magician. Damn stupid Disney channel. I’m off topic.

Pixel Perfect is about this band who need an image makeover, so the best friend of the lead singer/guitar player creates a hologram rock star for them named Loretta. So basically it’s that Simone movie except as a rock star instead of a movie star.

Then it’s a love triangle between Samantha (the former lead singer), Loretta (the new lead singer aka the hologram), and ROSCOE. The boy. Roscoe gave Loretta Samantha’s ears! Roscoe screens Samantha’s phone calls! The pathos! The teenage stupidity!

And then it all becomes too much for the unreal Loretta. And she becomes a nihilistic hologram. It’s brilliant! After a big fight with Roscoe, Loretta jumps onto the information super highway where she meets a black man in a hoover truck who tells her that pedestrians aren’t allowed and then shoos away pop-up ads and makes disparaging remarks. She approaches some droids sorting email and they go all flashy red lights, ‘Virus alert, virus alert’, and she’s chased away by pixilated German shepards. This section of the film is pretty much where I fell desperately, despairingly in love.

Ha ha ha! Roscoe’s explaining touch and kissing to her in terms of musical accompaniment. Sadly, her foolish dreams of being able to feel are dashed when they briefly sell Loretta to the music industry, but the heart-of-gold-former-rapper, De Fibb, is going to save the day. Which puts her back in the stupidest visual representation of the “information super highway”, I’ve ever seen.

But the final show must goes on and Samantha (who has been practicing Loretta’s dance moves in her bedroom) wears a wig and takes the stage. And falls off the stage. And loses the wig. And gets a concussion. The jig seems up. Much like the Irish dancer from an earlier audition montage the band did.

Commercials. Another ad for the magic movie. If you could do magic would you waste it on a reality show doing cheap party tricks? This seems inconceivable. Unlike holographic rock stars which I am totally prepared to get behind.

Loretta came back and is asking about the brain seismograph machine hooked up to Samantha. Oh, i can see where this is going. Samantha’s brain looks a lot like Death Valley. And Samantha looks like a grunge, drug-addict. In order to fix this, Loretta “rewires some hardware” and fixes Sam’s guitar so she can play and make grass grow and everything beautiful again.

“You get to be the dreamer, but I’ll always be the dream.” says Loretta to Sam. AND THEN SHE TAKES OVER SAM’S BODY! that’s not ok! Give back Sam! This is creepy. Ha ha, she got struck by lightening!

Why does Samantha look like a prettier version of amanda Bynes? Is Amanda Bynes the poor man’s Leah Pipes?

End of this movie: Samantha gets the boy. I might actually manage to write Samantha without writing Samanthat. And Loretta is a holographic angel singing 2 part harmonies with Sam in the final, final concert.

End result of my love for this movie?: it is pure and strong and I am sending it out on the information super highway.

(get yourself the “music”).

(some quotes and goofs).

16 Responses to pixel perfect

  1. michele

    ….dood, did you watch this movie? did you get the lindsay lohan game from phill yet?

    she was in the lintel. yes, the lintel. so therefore she was technically still inside. don’t question this movie. it took exactitude down to an art.

  2. didofoot

    “Answer this…If Larry Tudgeman has a crush on Lizzie and he’s writing her love letters…what do you think she would do?”

    she’d take him under the sea to be her bride! (for she is a silkie.)

  3. leah

    hahaha michele, that summary should be published haha… very entertaining

    and im definitely not prettier than amanda bynes! but thanks for the compliment!

  4. leah

    hahaha michele, that summary should be published haha… very entertaining

    and im definitely not prettier than amanda bynes! but thanks for the compliment!

  5. michele

    dood. seriously, are you leah pipes? you’re totally prettier than amanda bynes and don’t let anyone tell you different. those teeth, that voice, ugh. if it was a beauty contest between you and her someone should put a bag over her head to help her out in the ratings. and gag her.

  6. grace

    i loved the movie. and i feel a bit of sympathy towards loretta cos she only had like- what, 10 seconds to finally feel? and roscoe didn’t get her.the movie was great but it really sucks that they won’t release it on video

  7. leah

    well…i have no way of proving to you that this is really leah pipes…but you can take my word for it or not i guess. but you’re really sweet to say that…im glad you enjoy my teeth. haha

  8. michele

    i’m going to go ahead and believe you, because really what’s going to happen either way? fat load of nothing.

    and you should be pleased about the teeth thing. teeth are very important. where would you be without them, after all? gumming things, that’s where. undignified is what that is.

  9. Lacey

    Uhh… Leah Pipes is not a prettier version of Amanda Bynes. Amanda Bynes is much prettier, and Pixel Perfect was superficial and had no depth to it. It was about a girl who was perfect. Wow such a good image to send out to everyone, “LORETTA ISH PURRFECT”. Idiot.

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