October 8, 2002 by

spam?

3 comments

Categories: General

this is the forward i received today. you decide whether it is spam or not.

Hello, my name is�______ and I suffer from the guilt of not forwarding 50

billion fucking chain letters sent to me by people who actually believe that

if you send them on, a poor 6-year-old girl in Arkansas with a breast on her

forehead will be able to raise enough money to have it removed before her

redneck parents sell her to a traveling freak show.

Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you, and everyone

to whom you send “his” email, $1000?

How stupid are you?

“Ooooh, looky here! If I scroll down this page and make a wish, I’ll get

laid by a model I just happen to run into the next day!”

Bullshit!

Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my house and sodomize

me in my sleep for not continuing a chain letter that was started by Peter

in 5 AD and brought to this country by midget pilgrims on the Mayflower.

Fuck ’em.

If you’re going to forward something, at least send me something mildly

amusing. I’ve seen all the “send this to 10 of your closest friends, and

this poor, wretched excuse for a human being will somehow receive a nickel

from some omniscient being.� Show a little intelligence and think about what

you’re actually contributing to by sending out these forwards. Chances are,

it’s our own unpopularity.

The point being?� If you get some chain letter that’s threatening to leave

you shagless or� luckless for the rest of your life, delete it.

If it’s funny, send it on.

Don’t piss people off by making them feel guilty about a leper in Botswana

with no teeth who has been tied to the ass of a dead elephant for 27 years

and whose only salvation is the 5 cents per letter he’ll receive if you

forward this email.� Now forward this to everyone you know.

Otherwise, tomorrow morning your underwear will turn carnivorous and will

consume your genitals.

Have a nice day!

3 Responses to spam?

  1. didofoot

    urgh.

    seems like the new hot trend in email chain letters is letters making fun of chain letters, and then encouraging you to put the word out to your friends about it. thus creating more mass mailings.

    I also hate the idea that some chain letters are too funny or poignant or politically motivated to be ignored. chances are, everyone on your list has already seen the joke, and no one needs to know they have an angel watching over them, and anyone who was going to do something genuinely politically effective (ie sending money somewhere) will do it and not fuck about with email petitions.

    sorry for this rant.

  2. M@

    michele, you just had to point out the underwear, didn’t ya? you know what that does to me. now i’m all worked up. i’m going to go light a candle in your honor.

    oh, they missed something… those suck ass pieces of shi+ that send warm, fuzzy, oh, you’re my best friend crap. then they say to send it to all of your friends, and that they expect to get it back.

    f-off and go f-yerself, f-yer neighbors bird. if i wanted a friend that was that f-n needy i would get a blind incontinent dog with one leg and no tongue. uuhhh… yeah.

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