wellllllp. on tuesday, (that would be yesterday though it seems like DAYS ago. fuck i’m tired.), i went to the city because brian was going to be there. just so we’re not confused what with all the brians we seem to know lately, this one happens to actually be named brian hangar. i haven’t seen him since….um…last summer? and i admittedly haven’t talked to him since then except for last week when he randomly emailed me and was like, ‘hey i’m going to be in town.’ and i was like what shit really eh you haven’t talked to me in months, what the fuck is up? i cannot believe i am writing about this here since i told him i would let him know again what my webpage address is (he hasn’t visited since the advent of ninja porn). but suffice it to say that i did some things the last time he was here that i was none too proud of. and i wasn’t sure if things would be wierd/awkward with him being here again. but you know what? things were just peachy. and i had a truckload of fun even with the pounding music and the expensive taste buds. hanging out with people from ups/any one who was affiliated with ups is always….good. it’s nice to feel sort of reinserted in the times that we all used to share. and the conversations are always so hilarious because we all share this bizarre sense of humor that can feed off each other. laughing, joking, telling stories it’s what this group is all about and so it’s great sometimes to feel completely free to do exactly that while not having something else on the agenda.
in the course of the evening, brian dropped a bombshell on us (i probably shouldn’t be writing about this either…but…uh…whatever i guess. if anyone is upset by it though i’m sorry, but it’s still my webpage and so i’m just going to be writing about what i’m feeling with little regard to others. problem? get your own damn page.)
brian is going to be the best man. at doug’s wedding. on JULY 5TH.
an actual date. to an actual wedding. to which none of us have been invited yet. which is totally not odd, since july is pretty far off and invitations for weddings don’t get sent out till closer to the wedding. but i’m wondering if we will even be invited. like i’m sure jacob will be. and maybe jason. but me? will i get invited? i didn’t get invited to my friend scott’s wedding even though i know a couple of other people from high school did. and i didn’t even shack up with him for 2 years like i did with doug. i’m just…i’m wondering if ex-girlfriend status exempts one from the first wedding of the ups crew. and i’m not trying to be all whiny bitchy or something in super advance mode which maybe some of you are thinking. i am just sighing and missing a time long gone and questioning whether i even deserve to share in the happiness of someone who i didn’t love enough to stay with forever.
i’m sorry i’m taking away comments on this one. but i don’t really want to discuss this. but it’s just no comments this once so don’t get up in arms.