hold it. where’s my napkin.

last night for dinner my mom made this scallops in a cream sauce with herbs delicacy. on a mad afterthought she decided to add some gin to spice up those little spuds of the oceanic world.

for those of you now thinking, mmm tasty gin flavored scallops. let me point out to you that the two in fact do not go hand in hand like cotton candy and an irresolute child of 2. the combination of flavors–fish and restoration era mamma’s teat–clash like the furies. it was atrocious and led to me all out gagging. i attempted to take a bite of just the rice with the sauce thinking that maybe the scallops had taken the full brunt of the offensive liquor. i had to spit it all out in my napkin and hurriedly wad up the evidence because i couldn’t even bring myself to chew the mush.

we then washed off all the little scallop-y bodies and fried them up with lots of bacon, onions, and egg to make fried rice. it certainly helped.

the point here: don’t put gin in your food. drink gin as your meal, sure. BUT DO NOT PUT IT IN YOUR FOOD. it’s like the adage about not crapping where you sleep. or eat. whatever. just say no.