i didn’t get the miki scholarship. which possibly some of you remember me talking about before. although i completely changed the topic of my research and wrote this relatively good proposal. well sort of good. whatever. the point is. rejection letter. another reason i’m glad i didn’t go to tacoma last week at all because maybe it would have made me sad to be there when they wouldn’t give me any money to go play with the internet and a digital camera in a japanese high school.
now i’m thinking, why the hell should i continue taking japanese language classes when the only reason i was taking them in the first place was so i could tell the miki committee that i was pursuing japanese under my own steam? and possibly my consideration of this idea is heavily influenced by the fact that i skipped last week since jenny was here, i have a huge test tomorrow which i haven’t studied for, and haven’t done the homework for last week or this week yet. and yeah, i could do everything tonight and study and get an A on this test, because it will be easy and, no, i’m not over-rating my abilities, it’s just true. but after the 2 hours of sleep i got last night it just doesn’t seem worth it.
also i think i have poison oak on my wrist again. fucking ay i’m whiny when i’m tired. i apologize to anyone who actually read this. (but now i’m going to continue)
if i drop japanese does it just further cement the fact that i’m a slacker and really have no business even applying to go back to grad school? who’s to say i wouldn’t just drop out of grad school too? it’s hard to feel motivated anymore.
on saturday i called this number, got a map point, got a map, drove to a bart station, waited 20 minutes for a shuttle, took a shuttle to downtown warehouse oakland, and listened to my brother play. the effort involved in getting to this rave almost negated being at the rave. however, the lack of roving gangs with guns smashing my car and threating my life (which is what happened at the last rave at this place–not to me mind, since i didn’t go and thank god for that) was pretty sweet. plus i saw mike barrett play too and his evolution into using jazz music is a development i was pleased to experience. jazz trumpets underscoring some fantastic breakbeat action is a good, good thing. now i have only to wait till my brother comes out with the james brown sampling he’s been working on, a trend which i take full credit for as i kind of introduced him to the james brown, and my life will be complete.
I’m sorry about the Miki scholarship. They don’t know what they’re missing!
Oh dood, I’m so sorry. That totally sucks. And you’re just feeling icky about grad school and what not because of one stupid letter. Don’t take it as indicative of your future course in academe, you’ll bounce back. I did, and you know how shitty I was feeling this time last year. And now look, I’m dating someone whose brother met miyazaki. I’m moving up in life.
Yeah, fuck Japan. Did you hear what they did to Hawaii?
You and me can be lame-o-not-learning-anything layabouts together this year! Then you can apply to be Japanese next year and get in! Because they clearly lost your application or switched your GED scores with someone else’s or fought alongside the Nazis, because there’s no other reason you shouldn’t have got in.
marina-maybe i’ll bounce back and be DATING miyazaki himself by next year.
p.s. i love you guys.
yeah, i heard that program is actually a cover for white slavery. color me relieved that you didn’t get in, because i didn’t fancy chasing a pirate ship over the high seas to try and rescue you.
and you are NOT a slacker. you are one of the least slackery people i know. why the hell should you immediately want to jump back into school? you and jason should take a year off and have fun and mock everyone else. then you can get you phd and make more money than everyone else.
did you go to this rave ALONE?
ummmm jason and i have taken off the last two years though see. it’s about time to get back in the game i think. although possibly not since jason is slacking again and so am i probably.
nah. i went with jenny, erica, jolie, warren, and emily. plus peeps were there that i knew thru adam. including the recent mother of a tiny tiny baby boy named jacob. sur-fucking-real.
I want to go see Adam and Mike spin! It’s been so long…
Michele, I know you wouldn’t drop out of grad school unless it was for a very good reason. Like if the Japanese bombed your house or a tiny tiny baby boy was left on your doorstep….and then your house was bombed…you might need some time to think after something like that.
next time they’re playing i will make sure to invite you! =)