July 16, 2003 by

pirates of the caribbean

31 comments

Categories: Movie Reviews

this movie rocked. seriously. so much fun. i mean, if you want something SERIOUS and THINKABLE than screw you. but the swordfight swashbuckling, the beautiful people, the crazy dialogue of johnny depp as CAPTAIN jack sparrow. all so good. explosions! boats! ships, i mean! beaches! treasure! i could go on! but i will stop!

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favorite things about this movie:

the insouciant johnny depp playing a drunken, manic pirate to the very hilt of his ability. the man is a fucking genius.

the incredibly sexy-cute facial expressions of orlando bloom and his camaraderie with johnny depp and love of the pretty girl. plus he’s just adorable.

keira knightley’s gorgeously tanned skin, long legs, beautiful eyeballs, the package does it for me. i’m reminded with delight of the scene in ‘bend it like beckham’ when she’s dancing with jonathan rhys-meyer in the club in germany in that tiny little pink top. holy sweet jesus. hot. but that’s another movie. i will stop talking about it too.

favorite dialogue bits:

sparrow rips off elizabeth’s corset

soldier man: “never would have thought of that.”

JS: “clearly you’ve never been to singapore.”

commodore: “you’re the the worst pirate i’ve ever heard of”

JS: “ah but you have HEARD of me.”

and then the whole sea turtle escape method when will is hearing about it for the first time.

“he roped the sea turtles together into a raft.”

will: “he roped sea turtles. (pause) what did he use for rope?”

stumped silence till the camera pans out to show sparrow

JS: human hair. from my back.” swishily walks off. oh the swish. so great.

anyway, i seriously enjoyed this movie and recommend it highly. to the point where i will say that upon release this movie will be mine immediately. that is how much i liked it. you can say that due to the number of movies i own, some of them quite crap, that’s not much of a recommendation. but keep in mind most of those i buy for discounted prices to free, i don’t often buy movies the day they’re released. that requires forethought and planning that i don’t usually possess because i’m lazy. but for pirates i will scrape together all my faculties.

other reviews:

nuala

tracy

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31 Responses to pirates of the caribbean

  1. holohan

    yes, it’s always nice when the stomach has no meat on it and yet still manages to stick out beyond the breasts. given how hot she was in pirates, where the old-timey clothing created the illusion of a feminine form, and how pretty her face is, that’s an extremely unfortunate body she’s carrying around.

  2. jade

    her face is gorgeous and she’s got the body to protect it. sorry–that was mean. no, she’s just in dire need of some flesh to go with those bones. somebody, give her a hamburger.

  3. wayne

    hey, this is rather late, but i really really wanna know what the reference to singapore is about. if anyone has any idea could you just email me and tell me? it’s killing me, i’m from singapore and i can’t think of anything. thanks.

    pileofbarf@yahoo.com

  4. Satan aka Andrew

    First off, what the helll are half of you smoking?! She is the best looking chick in the whole damn world, bitch if you must about her being too skinny, but do it talking to yourself, rocking back and forth in a dark corner.

  5. michele

    i have to say i’m impressed by this comment. usually when people disagree with something written on this page they have no concept of either grammar or spelling. this comment is almost perfect (hell vs helll) and even, shockingly, articulate.

    satan aka andrew, how excited are you to see her as guinevere in that new king arthur movie? after all, she’ll be half naked and covered in the picts blue war paint. oh i’m excited, (though still confused as to how guinevere became a pict warrior).

  6. Juliette

    I’m a huuuuge fan of Keira’s and I hope she comes on this site so she can know I’m her biggest fan! She Rox! She’s so pretty and really funny! I wish i could meet her! I also really like Orli Bloom, but I wish he would dump Kate and date Keira! She deservs him more than any-one! When I’m 17 i’m gonna move to London and be an acrtess like the wonderful Keira!

  7. Adm Truhler

    I would just like to state a few obvious facts. Kiera Knightley is God’s gift to all mankind. She is gorgeous, smart, funny, athletic, and most importantly human. She makes me feel not quite so small in the scale of things. If Kiera ever reads this I hope she knows that she’s got a friend and a fan in Minnesota, USA.

  8. Clint

    No doubt she’s a good looking girl. However her acting talent remains to be seen. She was okay in Pirates, but Johnny Depps performance overshadowed everyone else so who could really tell there. As for Love Acutally, her part was completely useless. I loved that movie but there were just too many plot-lines and a couple of useless characters, hers included. We’ll see what she’s like as Guinevere.

  9. steve

    pleease. keiras the hottest girl ever. too skinny my asshole, i dont want no lump of walking lard with cellulite everywhere.

    shes perfect

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