ark-ansas

what is this kind of heaven? a desire born out of casual query has become the overarching purpose of my life. to what point am i speaking? only the most scintillating amusement since time immemorial–the missouri state fair. not only is it in missouri, not only is it the preeminent affair of the state, but it is fair. fairer than all others. the fairest of the fair. if it had a magic mirror, oh it would beat out that pasty skinned girl with the juicy lips, oh yes. for within it’s illustrious zones it contains a ‘swine barn’. (under the midway). could life be any sweeter? it’s like the first time you hold a ladybug in the palm of your hand and follow its erratic movements over your thumb and onto your other hand. is it something in their feet? a chemical of pure joy? i could not say. but this swine barn will be my epiphany. it will be like, just like, that ladybug crapping on me. oh rapture, oh bliss.

to my interrogative of whether we could attend the fair, the darling kim replied, “Is there even a question that we need to absolutely attend this event??!?!??!!” her excessive use of punctuation truly impressed on me how this stop will be the culminating event of our cross-country trip. and it’s only the middle of the road! we’ll still have plenty of time for me to buy a horse in kentucky in time for the derby in may. i may never come home again.

missouri, my sweet lady-land of mystery. how i will delight in your offal and filth. and it goes without saying that the prizes for largest pumpkin, zucchini, and squash will be an event i will watch with bated breath. perhaps they will even crown a missouri state fair queen. perhaps it will be the award-winning largest sow. perhaps we will then eat her for dinner.