ardent admirer: darling michele, i can barely stand to spend time away from you. all my efforts at productive activity are wasted in sighs and longing for you. i stare at your picture, mesmerized by every detail, and i fear even to blink, afraid to miss even the smallest perfection. what do you do when away from me? tell me now, my love, do you pine for me as i do for you?
michele: on the contrary. i watched 6 hours of pride and prejudice and knitted a scarf. thru it all, i thought nothing of you, for you hardly weigh heavily on my mind. (light chortle) in fact, i think perhaps no thought beyond what dvd to watch next crosses my mind the vast majority of the time. although my latest fascination does own somewhat to amazement at my newly acquired knitting muscles. great bulbous lumps on the back of my hands between the pointer and middle fingers. entire hours can thus be taken up by watching my hands flex. it is both disgusting and highly enjoyable, as all great things in life should be. sadly you do not make the cut of that list, being yourself entirely disagreeable.
AA: (sob) if only i was mr. collins!
michele: oh no!, that would never do. for though he is disgusting, he is only enjoyable in the sense that he has some of the best lines in the whole script. but they are only completely delightful when you can mock them to all and sundry by the exaggerated rolling of eyes and smirk at the corners of the lips, where by rights the kiss should go. (concerned, but almost completely wrinkle-free, pout-frown), i wonder if perhaps the corner of the mouth has no room for a kiss when one is surrounded by such dullards all the time. does it dry up and wither like the conversation of the company one keeps? am i only to smirk?!
michele’s inner dirty demon: perhaps one should substitute “conversation” with “penis”. (smirk)