May 26, 2004 by

feline adoption

11 comments

Categories: General

hello. would anybody like a cat? (not my cats. someone else’s cats). if you don’t take them, my mom will. and then she’ll have two more. making it a grand total of….simon, sammy, fuckface, punk, setiva, and the two new ones. that’s 7.

these two cats. one is, i believe, tabby and looks like punk. the other is fat, fluffy, and grey. i do not know how old they are. i could find out if you were interested. though personally i think this is a lost cause and that my mom will soon have 7 cats. when i’m gone for the month of august, she’ll have 9 living at her house. you know, whenever i wonder about my future, i just have to look at my mom. the cat lady. that will be me. i think i should always live in apartments because that will seriously limit my cat taking-in ability due to space constraints. i will never go so far as to have 4 (1, 2, 3, 4) ferrets, a hedgehog, and my brother living with me though. don’t make my mom take two more cats in! adopt a feline today!

11 Responses to feline adoption

  1. Dianna

    I want a cat. A fat, fluffy grey cat. Or a calico cat, for when we move out and Killer is no longer around to take swipes at Bella.

    Jacob? Cat cat cat kitten kitteny fuzz boof?

  2. michele

    what really?!?! jacob say yes!

    wait…you’re only moving to the backyard, won’t killer still be around?

    bella does need crowd control performed on her by another cat though, i agree. she gets all het up otherwise. big for her britches, little miss bitchy pants.

    i’ll take more tomato plants if you take a cat!

  3. Dianna

    Ha! I don’t have more tomato plants. They’re all planted and three feet high now. Nothing left but to wait for them to make tomatoes.

    And we are probably moving to the backyard, but our other two roommates are probably going to move elsewhere so Killer will move too. We will have crowd control courtesy of a neighborhood cat named Mufassa, but the problem is that he’ll school us just as much as he’ll school Bella. He’s already started.

    So I vote for whichever cat will defend us against him.

  4. michele

    i’ll be at my mom’s this weekend during kristen’s pool party, so i will check them out and give you a full report. possibly with pictures. and then you can meet them, or bella can meet them. i could bring one to you to meet someday next week maybe? and you can decide and you can force jacob to decide. or jacob can decide on his own to crush this dream. you know, whatever works for you.

    mufassa is quite a schooling name.

  5. Dianna

    Jacob will probably decide on his own to crush this dream, although whether he will actually be able to do so is another matter entirely. I fully intend to trick, negotiate in bad faith, and use every wile at my disposal (it’s only polite to warn, you know).

    Kristen, yes, we are moving to the backyard. We had considered moving into the mother-in-law cottage in the back of the lot, but now I’m thinking that we could just set up our new backpacking tent on the lawn and that would be even better.

  6. didofoot

    next question: if they are someone else’s cats, why does your mom have to take them by default? can’t arf take them (assuming dianna doesn’t) and then they could go live in a one-cat family instead of being miserable and afraid and pissing at the cat zoo?

  7. michele

    sometimes ARF is full and can’t take more animals, and being at ARF is no guarantee of being adopted. living in the cat pee zoo is better than living in a cage. the pound is evil. my mom is a sucker.

    besides, all the cats at my mom’s house are happy and get along. only fats and moo don’t get along with them. everyone else concedes that fuckface is the cock of the walk and amble around each other blissfully.

    actually they acknowledge sammy as the enforcer and then fuckface just beats up sammy and everyone understands that fucker is in charge and sammy maintains order. sammy’s life might not be the greatest therefore i guess.

    maybe one of these new cats is female. in which case, she could be inside. only boys aren’t allowed inside. except for simeon. cause he’s old.

  8. michele

    and punk gets in cause he’s fast and sneaky sometimes. annnnd setiva makes a real bitch out of herself (she’s a boy. just…is a girl cat in a boy cat body) if not allowed in sometimes. dammit. that house is a pee zoo.

  9. marina

    i am very entertained by this post. but i feel so bad for your mom and the pee zoo, so yeah dianna and taking a cat. none of us liked bella that much anyways so i think jacob owes you for having to put up with her so long.

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