last night as marina groaned and bemoaned the lack of food in my house, i came to a realization of my problem. if something requires more than one thing to make it, then i can’t buy it. like if you have to buy hamburger meat, hamburger buns, lettuce, tomatoes, onions, bacon, avocado, and cheese–that’s just too much for me. invariably they come in large servings, like a whole head of lettuce or multiple slices of cheese; plus buns come 6 to a bag. i couldn’t use all that before it went bad. therefore i can’t buy it because it’s wasteful. thus i limit myself to buying single things. like apples. or steak.
last night at suriya
marina: i should have brought some of my cereal with me.
me: yeah…but that would require me having milk.
silence falls over the table.
oh, don’t you worry missy. this lack of milk problem will be solved shortly. i just need to get dressed.
as for the single serving issue: that is what a freezer is for. place the extra bread in a freezer and thaw it when you want it. lettuce is trickier, but i buy the bags o’ salad stuff and eat salad for a couple of days to solve that problem. there are workable solutions to everything.
ps-your cats are crawling all over me
have you SEEN my freezer? 1) it is tiny and 2) it doesn’t keep ice cream frozen.
plus, and most importantly, i hate frozen bread. and i hate defrosted bread. i’m incredibly picky. this is also a problem.
ack! kitties! i miss them!
Meow?
CAT CAT CAT!
I don’t suppose she can come over for dinner on Monday. The CAT CAT CAT, I mean. Can she?
your cats keep following me. i think they’re judging me.
well….no. it might upset moo and fats. can i bring her to you next weekend? or you can come to my mom’s next weekend and meet her AND the hedgehog. have you ever met a hedgehog? because it is an experience, let me tell you.
(kristen, would your mom like to meet the hedgehog next weekend? and you?)
I think I might like to meet a hedgehog. Or a fretful porpentine, but if no fretful porpentine is available then I’ll settle for a hedgehog. But would I also have to meet ferrets and lots of cat pee?
Where the hell did I get the phrase “fretful porpentine” from anyway?
from shakespeare. although i say it a lot so maybe you got it from me.
Or because you’re fretful, and spiny. That could naturally lead me to start using the phrase in reference to you.
To my eternal shame and nerdiness, I think I may have actually gotten it from Terry Pratchett. Wyrd Sisters maybe? Is that the Macbethy one?
Our refrigerator is often like yours as well, due to one roommate’s reluctance to have three days’ worth of food in the house (for fear it would be eaten in but two), and the other’s willingness to subsist on French bread and Chubby Hubby ice cream.
The freezer will keep ice cream frozen, but that’s usually irrelevant, as the Chubby Hubby goes directly from corner store to stomach.
I have to admit: after a recent trip (well, extravaganza, actually) to BevMo, my freezer is fully stocked, but I’d be hard pressed to find any solid foodstuff in either there or the fridge.
michele, i seem to remember me saying “now you can cook dinner for me all the time!” when you moved in and you callously refusing. cooking for me would eliminate the possibility of leftover ingredients going bad because i will eat them all up.
Infinite appetite, to go with the infinite breasts.
i can’t compete with you though. you cooked yourself chicken stuffed with things and risotto the other day, (or so you claimed). i couldn’t stuff a chicken to save my soul.
this hedgie is totally a fretful porpentime. he sticks his head inside a toilet paper roll and then hisses. it’s awesome! and he does this thing where he compacts his body into a very small ball with head tucked into his stomach and spines bristling up. it’s also awesome! and the coolest thing about him is that he’s so fat he looks as if his legs should just stick out to the side while he rests on his belly. but hedgies can apparently get up to high speeds (like a moped) if you let them loose. we put him inside the pot of a plant and he thought he was in a jungle. i kept yelling, “burrow! burrow!” at him. and my brother kept trying to push him to exceed the speed limit.
p.s. dianna, there will be ferrets, but they are caged. and really not that bad. just watch your toes and ass. and the two girl cats are the only ones in the house right now and they don’t pee on anything (a question which i just realized you and jacob never asked, but which should have been your first question when accepting a cat from me).
is this kristen burrow from shadow mountain?