dear jason,
so i was thinking it might be in my best interests to become a male just so my chances of getting laid by you might increase even infinitesimally. but i was wondering how you feel about breasts? because the idea of getting them lopped off kind of makes me cringe in pain. it might hurt. a lot. plus then i might make a joke about lop-eared bunnies and that might also hurt. my funny image. also, penises? they’re not that great. so maybe i could also keep my vagina. how do you feel about this plan? don’t be niggardly with your sex.
i wish so much that i had a picture of you doing that thing with your fingers, tongue touching nose, and talking about wet leprosy. happy birthday, sexy boy.
love,
michele
Happy Birthday! I’m so sorry I couldn’t be there to harass you about penises and lopping off of breasts. But at least I was there for the purchase of your gift–got to give me some bonus points for that. Love you.
she wanted me to buy the one shaped like a turtle. which i now recognize as something which i really should have done. who doesn’t want a non-working compass from southeast asia shaped like a turtle? at least then it would be defective but sexually suggestive.
(marina, good thing you commented because i totally forgot to tell him that you said happy birthday)
it’s okay. and it’s not like he would have known the turtle compass was broken. how many compasses does he have?
was the indonesian tasty?
well…one now i think. but it’s pretty easy to tell when one is broken by the fact that north isn’t north.
mine was tasty. there was chicken which looked like a octopus and was very thin. and honey fried beef which wasn’t fried so much. and spicy tofu which was spicy. and coconut rice. yum. and also lumpia. super yum. mostly though the conversation and bizarre body anomalies were just excellent.
the honey fried chicken was good, though it was not actually fried. richard called it funny fried chicken, the funny part being the apparent confusion between “fried” and “baked.”
is it interesting that in druggie terms baked would be good and fried would be bad?
not really. but nice try.
and am i being ignorant or oddly filipina-nationalistic in that i’m sort of irritated that several SEA restaurants have taken over “lumpia”?
soon you’ll be bombing marine bases, you nationalist.
it was weird lumpia. with weird peanut sauce. maybe they have their own lumpia?
To the topic at hand: Happy Birthday Jason.
I regret that our roofs are no longer contiguous and that I can not spontaneuously show up at your apartment at midnight asking you to let me “jump your fence.”
i ask him that all the time, but he keeps telling me he likes his fences made out of wrought iron, not vaginas.
(snort!)
You damp lepers are sweet. And sort of dirty. My food was delicious, but my fingers and tongue are sore (so certainly no vaginas for me for the next week or so at least, know what I’m sayin!)
Jason, can I get you to comment on the use of the word “clammy”? That’s the word that Jacob was using this morning to explain last night’s leprosy conversation to me. I just want to know if it fits in with your artistic vision.
Clammy lepers, damp lepers, moist lepers…sure they’re different, but deep down inside I think they’d realize how similar they are.
I don’t know if this answers your question since I didn’t quite understand it, so I made up my own question to answer.
Hope Starlight Express was worth my sorrow at seeing your empty seat at the dinner table.
Yep, definitely. In fact, straystarlightexpressrun was made all the better by imagining your sad face staring at the unoccupied chair.
Happy Birthday Jason. Sorry I am late in the well wishing.