January 24, 2006 by

do you want the da vinci code to remain an impenetrable mystery? than don’t read this.

3 comments

Categories: General

at richard’s the other day we had a keen discussion of the da vinci code. which was interesting since none of has read it. i read it today in the spirit of scientific inquiry as i found a copy moldering in the garage (truly, it is amazing what one can find in there).

number one. it is about important women in the church.

number two. and yet it treats the main female character like a complete lackwit almost the entire time.

number three. my biblical view has been completely skewed by christopher moore’s lamb.

number four. around page 200 i became absurdly convinced that she was going to insert the cryptex (key to the location of the holy grail) into her vagina like a dildo to prove the feminine goddess crap they were all spouting and that then mary magdelene’s dead corpse and all the secret documents would just spew forth or something. from her womb. heck, it’s full of mystery and the divine, apparently. and she is a direct descendent of jesus christ, after all. there’s got to be a few miracles up her sleeve. or cervical passage. whatever.

number five. if you’d read the book you’d know that five is a very important number and a lot of other useless trivia that you aren’t really sure is true or not. like that mary magdelene was jesus’ wife and bore him a daughter. that da vinci painted her in the last supper. that the olympics game symbol of five interlocking rings comes from the pentagram which is also a symbol of the vagina. that the church was built from mary and not peter. A LOT of crap about pagan rituals and constantine. that mary magdelene is the holy grail. though ultimately what i have to say is that this book is quite badly written. but i like the idea of it. and why wouldn’t i? i am female. rock on, chalice.

3 Responses to do you want the da vinci code to remain an impenetrable mystery? than don’t read this.

  1. holohan

    Based on what I’ve read, all the stuff in the DVC about scions and verginas and all that is drawn entirely from the book Holy Blood, Holy Grail, a book that’s been completely discredited. The authors of the book are suing Dan Brown for copyright infringement and plagiarism, which raises a host (pardon the pun) of copyright estoppel issues.

  2. BD

    “though ultimately what i have to say is that this book is quite badly written.”

    Finally. Someone else says it.

    I could not understand why this book was so highly acclaimed by the masses. I mean, I guess I can – they are the masses and all – but I just don’t want to.

  3. michele

    i read about the plagarism stuff too, holohan. though to be fair, the DVC does mention holy blood, holy grail the book at one point too and the dood explains that he’s taking his theory from it. along with a host of other books.

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