as i intimated yesterday, i’m having some trouble believing myself to be safe in orinda. this is due primarily to the fact that there are 6 doors to this house and only 2 of them have locks. that makes a grand total of 4 doors thru which someone could sneak in the middle of the night and murder me in the bed.
i’ve come up with whole death scenarios while laying in bed at 4 am after 3 hours of unrestful slumber. the culprit will come in, gag me, tie me up, and then do a lot of slicing while stil keeping me alive. i’ve eyeballed the ceiling supports in the living room to ascertain whether or not he could tie ropes to them and suspend me somehow to further enhance his murderous plunder of my flesh. i’m pretty sure he can and will. the pools of blood here will not be sized for beetles but for large dogs. i’m relatively certain that ellie’s large dogs will already be dead though and thus really missing out on the swimming opportunities.
the point here is that i’m not getting much sleep. i go to bed late, i wake up several times a night terrified by the scratching noises i hear outside, and the dogs then wake me up at 7:30am anyway. i think i really need to come to grips with my death scenario and just accept its inevitability so i can get some sleep.
Have you thought about propping a chair under each door that doesn’t have a lock? Or a string of cans so that you’ll know if someone is in the house?
well, to be fair, the dogs will go crazy barking if someone actually comes into the house, so i’ll know. i just don’t feel like there’s much i could then do about it.
Well you could barricade yourself in the room each night so if the dogs do start to bark you’ve got some time to call the cops and sneak out the window.
the bedroom has a door to the outside in it too. and no windows one could sneak out of without breaking glass and then risking a bit of a fall. this house is foolishly planned. it’s ok though. only one more night in it and then it’s off to the homes of kristen’s and kim’s parents for house-sitting and a new set of paranoid fears. p-hill rather than orinda fears.
Well ok….I just want to make sure you’re all safe and secure with an escape plan is all.
Must comment on this…since in fact it is/was my house. We feel fairly secure in this house, fatal last words, I know, but have you seen Moose? Seriously, he does like a good pettin’ on the butt whenever he can get it, but we feel that any person/persons attempting to do us harm would see said 125 pound dog, and think to hit the house up the road a way. I have often wondered if someone did try and get in the house, if Moose would become quick friends with the bad intruder, and quickly lead the way to the safe. And if the dogs were lying in pools of their own blood, god rest their souls, we have conveniently left bats and golf clubs all over the house…they look like Tyler’s toys, but they are in fact great weapons. And if that doesn’t work, where ever you are, and where ever your fears take you, remember eyes, balls, kneecaps and throats.
“Eyes, balls, kneecaps and throats” is probably the best mantra I’ve ever heard. Nod to that.