lingerie

once, a very long time ago, a battle raged between a nation and an emerging baby mouse (feces). now that i’ve already lost you in my analogy unless you were there being mean to gene for hypocrisy on his views of donnie darko vs. fjords: the musical and/or willard the barber and ian (tentative title heavily disapproved of by me even though i came up with ‘willard’).

um, ok even if you had been there that analogy made no sense. but i’m tired and i can’t think of another word than ‘baby mouse’. even though that’s two words. ok, now this post is pretty much entirely for kristen.

the point is, it’s 4th of july and once we fought for that independence and today i fought for independence too. a battle raged over my underwear and i appeared to be on the losing side of it.

i’ve mentioned before my theory that for functionality underwear goes on OVER the garter belt so it can be the first thing off and you can still have the garter belt/stockings combo intact for the sexual relations. however, now that i actually OWN a garter belt and could put this into practice (ha!) my theory was shot down by: gene, jacob, erica, and jason. they all think that the functionality i’m espousing is completely secondary to the aesthetic of wearing underwear underneath the garter belt. i’m now thinking of just getting a chastity belt as my life would be no different and maybe then we could stop talking about my underwear.

seriously, i want to wear the garter belt everyday. though i also want to wear my new fuzzy, knee-high, striped socks everyday and those two articles of clothing really clash.