for the last two weeks i’ve been convinced that moo cow (my cat) was dying. she had elevated enzymes in her liver and bile system which is indicative of either a liver disease curable by antibiotics or terminal cancer. the symptom i developed from this disease was an antipathy for dealing with other people. i pretty much haven’t left my house for 2 weeks. i’ve been awful about answering the phone and initiating email.
yesterday, moo cow had a second set of blood tests done which came back with significantly decreased enzyme levels. which means the antibiotics are actually helping. which means she probably won’t die. i started feeling better about things. i actually emailed people today to ask how they were doing. i commiserated with jason’s story of mexican food poisoning. i matched electronic wits with sean and lost (because, as we know, he’s so much funnier than me). but that was this morning.
last night i walked out into the backyard where fats waller (my other cat) was lying on the grass meowing piteously in a voice not his own. he actually let me walk right up to him and pick him up. if you know fats, you know this is completely against his normal behavior. this morning he was still doing no better and we were worried about him so a trip to the emergency vet was in order. first they thought it was just kidney stones–treatable. but then they thought it might be a kidney infection–again, treatable. so for a great part of today i was feeling all right about things. fats would be ok, he’d be treatable. soon he’d be back meowing his actual meow and flopping over for me to rub his belly.
it turns out though that he had kidney cancer–really not treatable. this is the first time in my life i’ve been around for the death of one of my cats. it’s not an experience i have any desire to repeat. the vet injected him and he turned to me for comfort. he put his head in my palm and i watched him die.