I shall now tell some stories

I went on a houseboat trip last month and have been meaning to write about it ever since. But laziness, you know. Also I kept forgetting things that happened on the houseboat. Which, I think, is what occurs when you’re a) drunk the whole time and b) possibly have a concussion.

At one point Christine, Kris and I were sitting in Baby Albee discussing how chores ought to be divided up next trip.

Me: I’ll do whatever you tell me to do.

Christine: (skeptical face)

Me: What? I do what you tell me to do. I’m fine with that.

Christine: You are not fine with that.

Me: (starting to worry that my friends know me better than I want them to) But…I do it.

Christine: Yes, if you already want to do it.

Me: (drunk and proud of my ability to still remember and pronounce big words and giving up on my friends knowing me too well) I can be quite truculent.

Kris: Maybe your new pirate name should be Truc-y.

But no, it stayed Drip. Which was apropos since I was dripping from the ice bags held against my black eye and the oozing poison ivy dripping into my belly button. What’s a trip without me being truculent and disgusting?

Let me relate the story of the black eye though most of you have heard it already. So we’re skinny dipping at night and the moon is big and we are mooning all the nine foot sturgeons.

Aaron: Let’s race!

Me: OK!

Aaron: To Gene.

Me: Go!

I am already gone.

We race to Gene and smack him.

Gene (who had been minding his own naked business): What is happening?

Aaron has already started swimming back to Baby Albee.

Me: Wait, what? To Gene. I win!

Aaron: And back.

Me: You didn’t say that before!

Here we are both kind of inching back towards the speed boat already.

Aaron: Race!

Me: OK!

I am truculent AND competitive.

So we race back and since we’d kind of head-started and I was drunk I didn’t take into account the distance shortened from where I started back (was basing it on distance from Gene) and so started to open my eyes and raise my head a micro-second before smacking in to the metal bar on the back of the boat with my face. I immediately grabbed the bar and my face. But it took a minute of hysterical, drunken, elated laughter at racing for people to notice that I was clutching my face. Also I may have thrown them off with how much I was laughing.

Aaron: Are you ok?

Me: Really not ok.

Then there was ice packs and repeated assurances by non-medical doctors that I wasn’t broken. And maybe some crying (Drip).

Every time I tell this story I am once again AMAZED that I didn’t injure myself horribly. Though admittedly, my eye socket still feels kind of bruised.

Another night we were skinny dipping (I was at least less drunk) and having sparklers. Jon and I were the only ones in the water, Gene was handing us sparklers, and Kris demanded a light-saber battle. Proving that I will, in fact, do what I am told (I’m not even telling you the story of how Kris told me to go collect a dead fish in a floaty and I did. OK, that’s pretty much the whole story), I commenced an EPIC sword-fight with Jon.

Me: Pu! Pu pu pew!

Jon: Pugh! Pugh pew pugh!

Me: PU PU PU!

Jon: Meow? Meeeeeeeeee-ow.

Me: (gurgle gurgle)

Cause I started to drown from laughing so hard. Best light-saber battle ever.

What else happened on the houseboat? A lot of Magic: The Gathering. Like, A LOT. An equal amount of blendy drinks made by me (once we got a blender). A ridiculous amount of beer and talk about beer. And I made blackberry cobbler from scratch without a recipe (I am duly proud of this accomplishment. I am less proud of how idiotically I got poison ivy on my stomach from storing blackberries in my swimsuit.) Still, an awesome trip with so many friends. Pictures: HERE.