currently my cat mooser poosers (sorry kati, i know i have weird cat names) is looking a little frankenstein-esque. this could be due to the conehead, but i think in large part should be laid at the backdoor, ie her little caboose, which has 7 staples in it. apparently second buttholes are “in.” i can think of no other explanation. you would not believe the number of times i had to use the phrase, “yeah, it’s to the left of her anus,” yesterday. and each time, my tenderest sensibilities shriveled a little. there’s something about the word “anus” that is indestructibly dirty. this could be both literally and figuratively i guess. unless maybe you have one of those bidet things. but even then, i mean come on, “anus.” it’s just no good.
* popoki means cat in hawaiian. it is also the name of a former cat of my mom’s. don’t say i never taught you nothing. they have 4 tortoise shell 3.5 month old kittens at the vet’s up for adoption that look just like our popo. i almost got one. it was a close call before i convinced myself that 3.5 month old kittens are just not kitteny enough.
i also thought of taking a picture of mooser’s new anus but decided against it, because as robyn says, animal pictures are lame. also, in this case–exploitative. you dirty sickos.