little green pea

you know what else i don’t like? speaking of things i don’t like. that thing on the mainpage of CH that says who updated last. man that thing chaps my hide. i mean on the one hand it’s very useful cause then i don’t have to go to all the individual webpages and check on who’s updated. but on the other hand it’s this constant battle to be on the top. king of the hill! top dog! princess at the top, pea on the bottom! i just don’t want to be the pea. it’s so dumb though. and overly competitive and brings home to me the fact that i am overly competitive and then i am mad at myself for being so and then i continue to update and comment and refresh and i feel bitter when i comment on someone else’s page and they they’re on top of me. but i do it anywy! argh! so dumb! grrr at myself!