michele

if only this was a picture of my ass and something other than hearts, i’d feel better. but apparently there’s nothing else to say.

goddammit! you took away comments again!

3 things.

1. cop out.

2. it’s fun to look at his archives and see how much better he’s gotten since then.

i just got this email from my mom. hwee:

went to read your comments just for fun as I figure I should try out your website every few months.�

See you tonight.

what does sushi do?

“My breast flipped inside out so my nipple touched my heart.” has been quantifiably defined as the sexiest sentence ever. fyi.

there’s this internet browser called ghostzilla that makes itself all secretive so you can use it at work without being caught. theoretically.

gandalf from lord of the peeps!

peep peep peep. peepity peep! peep peep!

gene just sent me this huge picture file to ask what the occasion was for the picture project he’s doing for cementhorizon. it practically broke my inbox. which is totally fine since stupid hotmail account is almost all used up. anyway the point is that it’s a picture from our junior prom of the dateless wonders. ah dateless wonders. good times. good times. i never had a date in high school, you know. not one. this was primarily due to me being unwilling to date anyone i knew in high school/me having wierd social phobia issues. not much has changed really.

and why am i putting this picture on my own page when eventually it will be in the much cooler picture database? well because i am impatient. that is my reason. sticking to it. besides i fucking loved that dress. loved it. no idea where it is now either. it was probably the single most expensive item of clothing that i’ve ever bought in my entire life. for senior ball i didn’t buy a costly dress, i just bought this victoria’s secret nightgown to which i sewed feather boas. that was a fucking great dress too. but i know what happened to it. fucking cats peed on it. sob story really. wouldn’t you agree?

yesterday i almost lit the house on fire. how did i do this you might ask? well possible it had to do with the propane flame torch i was using in an attempt to solder a faucet back together so the water would not be leaking out like a son of a bitch so that we could turn the water in the house back on and be able to do normal things like….brush our teeth, flush our toilets, shower, wash hands, DO ANYTHING. I SPENT TWO FUCKING HOURS TRYING TO FIX A FUCKING WATER LEAK LAST NIGHT. IT WAS COLD AND WET AND NOW I AM MISERABLY SICK. I HATE NOT HAVING WATER, I HATE IT SOOOOO MUCH.

but michele, you say, 2 hours spent soldering and you still have no water, how is this possible? it’s possible i tell you. it’s possible and it’s shitty and maybe it won’t even be fixed by the time i get home today. and why is this? it’s because the faucet copper tubing doesn’t actually fit in the hole. and it’s because the water was still leaking a little while i was trying to shove solder in there with the flame torch. and it’s because flux is the most useless fucking invention i’ve ever seen even if it does bubble when hot and burn green. or maybe that was the copper. or the side of the house. or the cat that almost got lit up like a fucking christmas tree.

honest to god if i hold my hand up right now and let it just rest in air there it won’t stop shaking. am i faint from hunger? am i on too many drugs? did i not get enough sleep since the shower shcedule this morning was rigidly scheduled around when my brother could come and turn the water on for us for a bare half hour before he had to go to work? whatever. the point is that the past however many hours except when i was comatose (and even that was not so good since moosers chose to play inside a bag right next to the head of my bed while i was trying to sleep) have been incredibly awful.

i apologize for my petty petty complaints and all this irritating whining. i should be slapped and told how at least i’m not sleeping outside like the person nestled up against the corner of my office building. and at least i had some food to eat this morning even if it was only a banana and a granola bar since lots of people have nothing to eat. and lots of people for that matter don’t even have homes either with water or without.

now if only my hands would stop shaking. and if only i hadn’t taken three different kinds of drugs in addition to using my inhaler this morning maybe i would be able to type properly or get some work done.