HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!
i can’t even write a legitimate review of this movie, i’m still so ashamed of having seen it. (but also secretly delighted).
she’s the man
Categories: Movie Reviews, Tags: movie reviews
doogal
Categories: Movie Reviews
was everyone else aware that this movie was for 3 year olds? i for some reason assumed that the acting talent in it–jimmy fallon, ian mckellan, jon stewart, whoopi goldberg, william h. macy–somehow made it ok for adults too. especially since the last one by the same people was for adults. but this was just sooooo not for me and so totally for little kids. some of the jokes/blatant homages were amusing. but for the most part it was just boring. because i’m not 3. and i could just WATCH lord of the rings. and not a stupid egotistacal dog-mop.
aquamarine
Categories: Movie Reviews
this movie is stupid. and yet it made me cry. twice. i am also stupid. splash probably also made me cry. stupid mermaid movies.
the terrible twos
Categories: General
tyler: michele has a vagina!
me: …
ellie: that’s right, tyler-bear, michele does have a vagina.
me: … !
ellie: we’re learning about penises and vaginas right now.
me: he’s two!
tyler: boys stand up to pee, girls sit down.
me: two!
ellie: babies gone wild!
tyler: babies gone wild!
me: ok, when you say it, pull your shirt up.
ellie: (snort)
me: where’s your belly, kid? show me your belly.
tyler: babies gone wild!
chinchillas
Categories: General
friends, i love the film festival season
Categories: General
it’s now the time of the asian american film festival. wouldn’t you like to see some films of japanese girl rockers, singing colma residents, dogs and horses? with me? come on, i’ll be your friend!
movies i want to see:
where: castro theatre
when: march 17th (friday), 7pm
why: what better way to spend st. patty’s day? well, getting drunk might be better, but we could do that afterwards.
who: gene, christine, and i
where: kabuki 8
when: march 20th (monday), 7:30pm
why: i have a sneaking suspicion that it will be just as cute with the kids as millions. except with girls instead of boys and chinese instead of irish.
who: kristen and i
where: kabuki 8
when: march 21 (tuesday), 9pm
why: um, hello, it’s set in COLMA and they SING.
who: sean, jason, and i
where: kabuki 8
when: march 22 (wednesday), 9:30pm
why: an all-girl japanese punk rock band. could i be more delighted? or in lust? i think not. especially considering the fact that they’re HIGH SCHOOL girls.
who: candy, rachel, and i
the hills have eyes
Categories: Movie Reviews
what was i thinking?
jason and i went to see the hills have eyes tonight when really what we should have done was eat off our own arms. but i jest. maybe just moo cow’s ear.
we saw it at the contra costa cinemas across from nob hill. which i haven’t been to at night since i was in high school. it’s literally teeming with young punks after the sun goes down. one kid came into our theatre, went immediately to the back door and let in 6 of his friends. this was like 10 minutes into the movie too. so impressive all around.
most amusing moment: when emilie de raven has a pillow fight with one of the mutants trying to rape her.
most disgusting amusing moment(s): when one of the mutants bites off the head of a lovebird and squishes the blood out of it into his mouth tied with when the same mutant drinks breast milk from vinessa shaw. oral fixation much?
interestingly, all those moments happened within a 5 minute time frame.
what this movie is trying to say: the dividing line between pacifism and murder is thin. beauty dies, but the beast lives. little red riding hood kills herself at the same time that she kills the wolf. all of which add up to what? innocence is dead and we’re all to blame.
what this movie really says: i am crap. crap crap crappity crap.