Categotry Archives: General

merry christmas everybody! see you on the flip side.

love,

michele

this morning i was awoken by curtis and dan busting down my door and flinging pillows at my head. giggling like school-girls, those boys are a menace to all peacefully sleeping little sisters everywhere.

then they told me about curtis’ new book. the pop-up kama sutra with paper penii and paper slits. they were mostly impressed by this one where the girl is being lowered by string onto the boy (probably on top of an elephant). very delicate machinery. i was delighted, as i always am delighted by rope and pulley systems of sex.

they, on the other hand, were a trifle startled by my having owned the kama sutra (non pop-up version) since 10th grade. what’s the big though? instructional manuals are important once you hit high school. for all that high school sex i never had. but i was well instructed, and that’s what counts.

the punk odyssey continues this week because last night at 11pm a gentleman called from the the hidden valley region to say that punk had been a glorified member of his household for 2 weeks before being booted out to the shelter on dec 6. my mom called the shelter today, only to discover that punk in his inestimable cuteness was currently up for adoption at pet smart in the willow pass city sanctuary. i was then called and ordered to rush over and apprehend him for a miserable houdini master. to my surprise, i got there and discovered that saying a cat is your cat is not enough to clear his name. in fact, it takes $30.41 of hard-earned adoption money to get your own cat returned to you. a small price to pay in the end, for the return of the punk.

punk odyssey

#1

#2

he smells kind of like pee and appears to have picked up a cold. he so totally belongs.

you don’t leave your house for four days and everything changes. your car grows impossibly taller, air touching your skin is a whole new experience, and your neighbors have put plastic deer out on the lawn.

i realized that it’s not that my lungs have gotten better which caused the longer periods of free breathing between fits, but that i have adjusted everything about how i move and breathe to accommodate the fact that my lungs are now half the size they used to be. (the other half is orange. i don’t know why this is so; but you can trust me on the color.)

if, for example, you time your pace with your exhale and breathe shallowly all the time, you can actually walk down the hallway and back without collapsing onto a couch at the end and dying. it’s brilliant! i think my adaptability skills could conquer an ocean. throw me in the middle and i could grow fins and gills.

1. wayyyyy too much naked arvin sloane in second season alias.

2. jack’s left ear is abnormally large. i’m kind of freaked out by him now.

3. firefly is once again the new love of my life and my very own copy (along with buffy season 5) should arrive tomorrow in the mail! yey for early xmas presents from doting mothers who are sick of renting movies for their whiny brat of a daughter.

bronchitis. i have fucking bronchitis. and the flu. and a temperature of 103.5. ok, i don’t have that currently but i had it last night. this is shit. this is such shit. i did get $150 worth of free medication though. i love it when doctors feel sorry for you because you have no insurance and so they give you samples they have lying around the office. beautiful.

i just almost died!

i was driving along home from work and puttering at a good speed of 65, my car suddenly spun out of control, slid across 4 lanes sideways, and ended up facing oncoming freeway traffic.

i had to put the car in reverse to get to the side of the road where i practiced deep breathing techniques more for the appearance of things than out of a genuine need to calm down.

once i realized there was no way of stopping the car, it was actually kind of enjoyable. like a roller coaster. but then, yes, true, i could have been slammed by an oncoming 18 wheeler. also, the whole car almost flipped onto it’s side when it stopped from sheer top heavy momentum. and then i had to drive all the way home from contra costa and boyd on regular streets cause i was too nervous to risk driving further on the freeway.

and my mom wants to take my car to oregon. thru snowy mountain passes! i may die driving yet.