Categotry Archives: General

yesterday in my never-ending quest for the perfect suntan i managed to miscalculate the amount of protective cream needed on a region that seldom sees sun.

my ass is now the ass of fire.

incredibly uncomfortable, let me tell you.

but i suppose this is what one gets when the goal is to be suntanned all over, fair and balance.

‘stick it where the sun don’t shine’ is an imperative i taunt with my red and shiny bottom.

last night with kristen i joined a cult. yes, a cult. who knew that going to a dance performance would be so very similar to signing away my life in a group suicide pledge? how many psychos will now come looking at my page for mass suicide pacts do you think? but it’s ok because willie brown sanctioned 5H, (our cult sponsor, very money-grubby. we had to watch a video during the intermission about all their accomplishments so they could jab us again with their pleas for financial aid.)

the dancing was lots of classical indian and yogic traditions. in traditional dress (ie saris). i found myself drifting a lot which is what my normal reality has become as i live increasingly within my own head. i had this lovely daydream about learning to do indian dancing, dancing it at a club, seducing a cute boy, spending the whole weekend with him. it was fun. i was quite pleased with this potential future. particularly when he offered to be my sugar daddy.

not having much in the way of responsibilities has completely cut me off from normal human interaction. it’s a good thing that i can be my own best friend and my cranium seems like a safe enough space for retreat for now.

kristen and i did get all dressed up and there is a picture. but eloise/gallery remote is being too, too temperamental so you will have to bide some time of your own.

today my mom got stung by a bee and she is all with the serious allergic reaction and took lots of benadryl and passed out. i do not like this. i do not like having a mother who is so susceptible to dangerous things like throats closing up. it makes me nervous. i have to keep walking out to the family room to check that she is still breathing in her chair. so far, so good.

back into my head i go.

although i am not adverse to a little growling in bed, i take it amiss when the animal doing all the growling happens to be a raccoon unwantedly sticking his head in MY window.

last night. happily minding my own business re-reading the books about the girl who can see ghosts, someone sticks their head in the window and bats at the blinds. i’m flipping over going, “oh fats waller, have you come for dinner?” but this inviting sentence is broken off on a choked scream as i get a good look at the beady eyes and poky snout nosing into my bedroom. definitely not a fats waller face. in fact the face of a vicious little coon who happens to think he deserves to be in my room. oh-ho-ho, i think not.

i took pictures of them (yes them, because FIVE new coons appear to have moved into our neighborhood) and then i slammed the window on their distrusting, growly little faces.

picture #1

picture #2

because you are all such flatterers, i am also putting up one more picture of crinkly haired me.

most of you who read this won’t care because you don’t know any of these people, but here are the pictures from my cousin john and katherine’s wedding. if you missed me writing about it before, here is the description i gave. and here is my original post when i found out they were getting married. ho ho ho. nostalgia, that was a good post.

yesterday i went swimming in kristen’s pool with the coolest longest hair ever. it was all swirly like a mermaid’s.

but tonight i accepted the fact that the braids were no longer fun. they were just heavy, itchy, and scalp-pulling. so i have spent the last 8 hours taking them out. a full two hours longer than it took to put them in. i kind of miss them already. but this crinkly short hair i have now is fascinating on its own too.

i’m not quite sure if something that only lasted a month was worth $200. who am i kidding? that hair was the shit. totally worth $200.

i did some fashion posing sans fancy car upholstery hair.

picture #1

picture #2

ok. the washing and brushing of the hair took another 2 fucking hours and i think i have lost about half my hair. i’m practically bald now! (not really though. don’t take me literally. i’m not bald.)

entering this lovely month of june the entire family was unemployed. there was me who quit, my mom who was having issues with the unified school district laying people off instead of hiring new teachers, and my brother who got laid off for no reason. or at least no reason that he or curtis is telling me.

this all changed three days ago when my mom got a phone call from her beloved elementary school about a job opening teaching a 4th grade class. mother is now gainfully employed while my brother and i continue to waste our lives away in frivolous pursuits. i don’t know what his frivolity consists of. mine still consists (as we all know) of swimming, reading YA books, and watching anime.

hold your best wishes for the moms.

in other news, my brother has been offered a mistress type living situation by a sugar momma. yes, his rent and utilities would be paid and all he’d have to do is take care of the infantile appetites of anthony/chovy. yes, this sugar momma is none other than anthony’s momma. ahem, let me stress this is not the sicilian. this is a friend from high school currently finishing his college career down in long beach whose mother spoils him so much that she is willing to send my brother down there to watch over him for the next 6 months until her first-born moves back up here to be under her own watchful eye. i’m kind of jealous. i want to go live in long beach for free in exchange for “looking after” that backstreet boy. hmph.

commence congratulations to the mom. yey mom for getting a job and making me look bad! yey mom! and yey adam for being offered a chance to be a kept woman! yey kept woman adam! now what shall i do for an encore?

holy crap i just managed to answer some of my email. it was harrrrrrd. i am so lazy. i finished card captor sakura though. the series (both seasons) and the 2 movies. streeeeeeeettttch. man that was a lot of time spent on the couch. i actually had an email checking on my welfare. ahem.

“Babe, sushi is starting to scare me. I can’t believe you watched anime for 12 hours. Actually, I can. The scary prospect is that you’re going to do the same thing the next day. (Maybe you’re actually watching anime now and this little prophecy is being fulfilled?) I mean come on here. The light of day; it’s nice; it’s pretty.

but then pandas unite* also expressed joy in my ability to waste away on the couch. i just don’t know who to believe anymore. however for all of you alls info, i actually did leave my house today and spent a good three hours in the sun over in kristen’s parent’s pool. where i was terrified into gibbering insensibility by the 3-d fish toilet seat cover in the bathroom. that thing is creepy, i tell you. every time it gets me. every time.

however, lest you be deceived that i was doing some good being out in the world and not subjecting my pea-brain to elementary school children’s animated antics, let me inform you i was re-reading the princess diaries books. yes, the ones that disney based the movie on. yes, the ones sweeping the young adult nation. yes, the ones which make me so happy i could squidge like an otter. i’ve read now, all of her YA series. the one about the girl that gets hit by lightening,** the one about the girl who can see ghosts, and the one about the girl who is a princess. i’m still waiting on getting the one about the girl who saves the life of the president. but don’t you worry. i’m getting there. and they’re all so good! and funny! and intelligent! seriously!

i have no shame. NO SHAME.

*pandas unite is the name of the bowling team that susan d and company had/have in tacoma. she told me about it once. i was very impressed. i even bought a shirt from goodwill that had pandas on it and wore it in secret support.

** holy crap! they have a tv series based on the lightening girl ones starting this saturday!!! who couldn’t be more excited!? hmm….just watched the preview for it and it looks like shit that has completely deviated from the books. kind of like the damn disney movie did with the princess diaries. heh. i will still watch though. oh yes. because i am just that lame.