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sand-diggy what’s the deel-io.

1 comment

Categories: General

appropriate since the master just went to SD and the jenny is just coming up from SD and SD is on the brain that i have uploaded 3 score and 5 pictures to eloise of a trip that erica and i took down to SD last spring. when we went to the wild animal park and the beach and to a party in some suburb that had the word lemon in the name with my brother and jeremy and anthony and chris. and some skank girls. skanks. oh and jeff who got erica WASTED and who still laughs about that to this day.

anyway. happy late birthday to jenny-kins!

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this weekend

4 comments

Categories: General

hear ye hear ye.

my brother is spinning somewhere in oakland tomorrow from 10-11pm. somehow west grand ave is utilized as a point of departure from the freeway. more info with actual directions will be posted tomorrow. please come though! it’ll be fun!

also, ian’s band is playing on saturday at some warehouse. somewhere. i’m sure someone will now happily give us info about that so we can go and listen to the scheme.

and jenny will be here on sunday, people! somehow i want to do something fun like a picnic and maybe some baseball and sunshine, ok? i’ll figure that out soon too. once erica writes me back, that ho. and let’s all be aware, shall we, that jenny’s birthday was this week and we all forgot it. well conceivably one of you remembered it. but considering that i didn’t, i doubt any of you did. we, as friends, suck ass. let’s make up for it on sunday with a cake (i’ll provide it). =)

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wouldn’t mind a ride on that bronco

6 comments

Categories: General

children of dune, scene 42: the cows are released from the byre and after a short scuffle in the fields, everyone settles down to cud-chewing.

leto (paul’s offspring, not the one from whose loins he sprang, but his own loin’s gift) – i never noticed before but this worm of arrakis looks an awful lot like a penis.

ghanima: ew.

leto (to the set guys): excuse me. do you think i could get a bigger worm here?

ghanima: compensator.

leto: am not.

ghanima: are too.

leto: AM N…

lady jessica: children! cut the crap!

(obscure hand movements which signal language): it really does look like a penis.

leto (whine): but grandmoooother. you banished us to the desert and now you’re going to make me ride a SMALL penis into the bargain.

lady jessica: you watch yourself or i’ll turn susan sarandon on you.

(OHG): what is she even doing in this movie?

ghanima: ha ha! now you’re in trouble. she could poke out one of your glowing eyeballs with her hair accessories.

lady jessica: don’t taunt your brother.

(OHG): i wonder if i could get a penis to ride…

leto: whatever. could we focus on the size of my worm-penis?

lady jessica: nobody listen to him. you! gaffer! are you listening to me? do not give that boy a bigger penis!

(frantic OHG): give it to me! to me!

later on–the message boards on imdb sprout insane political arguings having not much to do with the movie at all. it’s nice to be in a country where free speech and large sand dwelling worm-penises are encouraged to flourish.

leto.jpgsusan.jpg

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jake gyllenhaal cries, “pussywillow”*

18 comments

Categories: General

on saturday i went and saw agent cody banks in the theatre. and so did a whole busload of tards. ok i am not against that they came to see the movie, because that would be like drowning a small kitten in a weighted bag. in a dirty river. but not the ankh, cause then the bag would just rest on top. i am just saying. theatre full of tards. me. some REALLY AGGRAVATING KID WHO CLUNG TO THE BACK OF MY SEAT, JUMPING UP AND DOWN AND REPEATING, “AGENT CODY BANKS! CODY BANKS!”

why is it that society rules you can’t touch another person’s kid? what the fuck is up with that? seriously. i mean the temptation to turn around smack the kid and shove him into a sitting position in his own goddamn seat should have been my RIGHT as a moviegoer. but i probably would have been kicked out of the theatre and/or arrested for child harrasment. that just ain’t right.

i was also thinking over the weekend about child abduction. not doing it myself. but how it seems to be a lot more prevalent lately. actually that’s probably not true, but they have instigated that thing on the freeway with the signs proclaiming, “child abduction, brn datsun make, model, year, liscence plate info.” there was one on friday. and one last monday. and one last month. and 1) it slows down the already slow morning and evening traffic, which aggravates me. and 2) it makes me have to look around for specific cars so i can do my duty as a good samaritan. so i was thinking… why don’t we implant little devices in all children as soon as they’re born?, much like the tracking number things they put in animals at the vet so if they get lost they’re easier to recognize as yours again when they’re picked up. only for kids, we could do a combination of a tracking number, a tracking device with gps locating AND one of those alarm systems for when the object goes out of the boundary of a certain area. like the fenceless dog collars only without the electric shock. and then when the kid reaches a certain age, i’m thinking 16 since when you’re old enough to drive, you’re old enough to go places by yourself and get abducted if you want to.

i can see how lots of people wouldn’t agree with this plan. i mean there’s the whole thing about how then the government could keep too close of an eye on where we are at all times. but at least then when they get napped, they might be easier to find. for a little while. until the captors start digging around under the skin to find thier implanted devices. especially if some dumb ass decides to put everyone’s in the same place. then it would just be too easy. it’s just a thought.

*on the commentary of moonlight mile:

jake gyllenhaal impersonating the director: “Get the…get the….will you just…? More pussywillows! more pussywillows! no! more!… hold it. no…. cut cut cut! could we just get more pussywillows?”

dustin hoffman: “that’s a great title for your autobiography.”

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agent cody banks

1 comment

Categories: Movie Reviews

don’t laugh. i really did go see this. what can i say? i’m a sucker for 16 year olds. sadly the ratio of retards in that theatre to actual 16 year olds was excessively weighted.

this movie. i don’t know what it is about frankie muniz. but i think the problem could be that he’s not aging well. i mean, on malcom in the middle, he was cute, right? but now he looks like they’re plastering him with orangish tan matte purifying makeup and he looks kind of dirty and….bad most of the time. this could be in some small part due to the fact that he is constantly actually getting dirty while doing spy activities in this movie. and beaten up. but still.

they had lots of absurd gadgets. not as many as spy kids. but there were these stand up scooters things that everyone in the CIA rolled around on at the headquarters. adults, mind you. it was like saying, “children become CIA agents at this training summer camp in order to grow up and be CIA agents so they can remain children and play with toys.” valuable lesson learned about the state of our secret society of protectors. good job, guys.

his “handler”/partner angie harmon was hot. and jeez were they ever stuffing her bra. it was amazing.

hillary duff sucks. apparently she also sings though. cause there was this preview for this movie coming out soon with her and an italian boy and being a famous european pop singing duo. it looks incredibly dumb. i’ll probably see it.

this was amusing. and not half bad. watching the kid do martial arts was fun. and arnold vosloo the mummy in the BEST MOVIES OF ALL TIME, the mummy and the mummy returns, wandering around being evil in shiny, silver, velvet jogging suits was fun.

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