Nyotaimori

“the government announced today that it is changing its emblem to a condom because it more clearly reflects the government’s political stance. a condom stands up to inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a punch of pricks, and gives you a sense of security while you’re actually being screwed. damn, it just doesn’t get more accurate than that!”

if you actually knew my aunt dorothy this would be a whole hell of a lot funnier. she’s this little tiny old woman who lives in new mexico and wears bulky turquoise jewlery, hair in a bun, and is about 5 feet tall. she’s also a fantastic photographer and has incredibly intelligent and wierd children. but that’s besides the point. the point is that she forwarded an email about condoms and the gov’t to my mother. fiesty.

today is being unofficially declared as my aunt mary’s day, because SHE out of everybody that has taken that horrible quiz of mine got an 80%! and seriously she should have gotten a 100, because the two she missed were the food one and the watching movies one, which was funny as whenever i would go to her house while i was still at school all we would do all weekend was go to the movie theatre and at least one meal would be chinese. she claimed spaciness as the cause of her brief forgetting, i love my aunt mary.

(aunt mary, me with curls that were courtesy of aunt mary, and my mom at the beachhouse [it even had a spa] in newport, oregon.)

we went and saw haroun and the sea of stories for jason’s birthday on saturday. as a surprise, i think it worked well. i mean…he was surprised. i think. =) i’m still sticking with my avant-garde classification (avant-garde–adj : radically new or original; “an avant-garde theater piece”) hmmm it wasn’t radically new so much though i guess. but it certainly was unusual. what with the stage, the narrator, the video screen, the horrible translation from book to play, and (of course) the clubfoot. which is not to say i didn’t like it. it was pretty fucking fantastic really for something so bizarre. thank god i managed to get the $16 tickets though because i seriously wouldn’t have been as pleased if i paid $43. (me=cheapskate. what can you do rhetoric?)

as long as some of you know what i’m trying to say here, that’s enough for me.

i just went out to lunch with tracy, kristen, and brian to long life noodle house. and i’ve got to say we all need to go out to lunch more often. i don’t mean just the four of us today but everyone i know in general. going out to lunch is so much more fun than sitting in the office for 8-9 hours straight. and besides when you go out to lunch you get to add “in bed” to all your fortune cookies, and how could that possilbly be surpassed by processing travel reimbursements for people you’ve never met nor considered caring for? food=good. and if i can’t be in bed i’d rather be eating. or demanding icy cold water.

wo xiang-yao yi-bei bing-shun, people. choppy choppy.

this test found at the zannah page linked off carthage. actually pretty funny. but what else would you expect from thespark.

the other day when i was at this place getting something for a certain surprise for a boy named mr. s who we all know i saw this big um truck machine thing on the street that was making lots of construction type noises and being dirty, polluting the air. as it drove off though, i finally noticed the lettering on the side. “ditch witch.”

yesterday i took bart to and from work so that i could leave a little early and meet ellie to see frida again in the dome, there was a sign hung at the station:

WHACK! POW! WHOOSH! KABLAM! But in a tender, loving way.”

uh-huh. baby, if you’ll just come back to me, i’ll promise to never hit you again.

it was for a pair of diamond earrings. wtf?