Nyotaimori

i became a love mistress on the ice.

it is insane the number of things we do in ONE DAY here. on the 27th we rode helicopters, hiked on a glacier, swam in a lake, kayaked on a lake, went shopping, had a BBQ, and looked at glowworms (it’s their poo!). the day before we biked down a mountain, walked to a waterfall, swam in a river, hiked up to a glacier, hiked back to the hotel, pet a sheep, hung out in a cemetary, and fed a horse. so far today we’ve hiked around pancake rocks, hiked to a seal colony, fed many horses, fed seagulls, shopped, had ice cream, and are about to kayak in the abel tasman national park on the ocean. tomorrow we’re going swimming with seals. which includes a 4 hour boat ride, other swimming, and a hike back along the beach.

back to the love mistress thing. on the glacier day while waiting for the helicopter we were making jokes. i promised a burlesque show up on the ice and they could throw dollar coins at me and start an avalanche. stupid country with no dollar bills. once up there, troy let me hold his ax. also named troy. hugh and i hung out for pictures in the heart shaped ice tunnel and he nicknamed me his love mistress. later he threw his water shoe at my head and gave me a black eye. the physical abuse i’m sustaining as a love mistress is a trifle undesirable. but the fun i am having is undeniable.

post office rock.

the most brilliant thing ever. even more brilliant than the possums.

milford’s first post office was this tiny rock out at the mouth of the milford sound where the tasmian sea is. on this rock is a big tree with some thick branches. the people of milford (and their attendant sand flies) hung a rum barrel on the tree and would put the mail in it. a white flag was then raised and passing ships that knew the signal would stop and sift through the mail. if any were addressed to a location they were heading it would be taken along and posted.

a rum barrel on a tree full of letters that maybe would never get sent. how cool is that?

and penguins swimming under it. penguins! grah! so adorable!

there’s a plaque in the crew’s quarters which has a pithy homily engraved in brass:

a perilous journey

maketh a poet pleasant

i am pleased. though not even a poet.

possums are slowly eating the country.

they were introduced by europeans for the fur trade like 150 years ago but now they’re twice the size they were then and have no predators. they are fat and they prosper. taking over the country, they eat more brush in a night than can be regenerated.

true dat.

the amount of products made out of possum fur is quite astounding though. it ranges from hats, scarves, and socks to nipple warmers.

i’m making friends with boys named oscar, jimmy, and reed. admittedly they are, respectively, a cat, a dog, and a horse. i haven’t gotten close enough to the sheep yet to make friends with them on an up-close and personal first-name basis. but that’s only a matter of time. at least if my internal screaming monologue of “SHEEP! SHEEP! SHEEP! SHEEP!” has anything to say about it.

yesterday, we went here:

here being waiheke island, a 35 minute boat ride from auckland.

i played in the water and picked up pinking scallop shells. i know this because today at the auckland museum they had the same shells behind glass cases. also stuffed albatrosses and a sad story about an elephant named rajah. albatrosses are HUGE. killing an elephant and then stuffing him for 7 months to be an exhibit in a museum because he wouldn’t let you ride on his back is STUPID.

tomorrow we fly to queenstown and discover if nuala really is brave enough to jump off a bridge. fingers crossed!

one of the most delightful things about nuala, not that she doesn’t have many, is her height. while standing in line to board the plane at LAX to auckland, NZ, giggling somewhat hysterically at the bodybuilder in the other line, i looked directly into her eyes–simply because i could. i have been overpowered in recent months by all the girls i see in san francisco. this means you kristen, christine, and dianna. i don’t like you so much now that i have nuala and we can be on equal footing.