so far today i have received two extraordinarily religious closings by email. one was a forward which ended in “If you delete this, it’s okay: God’s Love Is Not Dependent On E-Mail.” (i left the extremely delightful punctuation as written.) the other was an email which instead of “Sincerely,” or something equally humdrum/professional said, “Yours in Christ,”.
i am distressed by this 1) because WHY is god’s love not based on email? and 2) *IN* christ? why would i want to be *IN* him? i could maybe understand/grasp the physiological possiblity of being with the email-dood in the worship of christ, or basking in the love of christ. but just inside his innards? that’s just not ok. and also gross. do you ever think that maybe this world is just like god’s colon or something and then i guess it would make sense. or not. and why the colon anyway? i don’t know.
also these two emails contradict sort of. the love of christ that i’m supposed to be sharing with the second guy is dependent on the email he sent me, after all. without the email we never would have connected. and in that horrid jim carey movie where he plays god after morgan freeman steps down, JC (HAH!) gets all these prayers by email from the believing world. i’m just saying…well, ok i don’t know what i’m saying because now i’m mostly just too delighted by jim carey’s initials.