astroturf and stalking

jolie asked if i could put this on my page. it is apparently to stand as proof that she is indeed dating astroturf. i don’t know if it counts for hard evidence so much…what with the lacking of romantic candlelight or silk sheets and the addition of erica to the little m�nage a trois action or whatever is going down kind of crimps up the bit. but you know what. look at that girl! she used to be a freshman. (this was really the only time i ever met her otherwise. when she was puny and young…and actually had less of a strong jaw line. and longer hair. and less make-up.) grown up good that astroturf. that’s all i’m saying. not that she wasn’t cute as a freshman. so young after all. and what with the cuteness of freshman brien standing next to me when i was introduced to her i think maybe i was overwhelmed by the youngness of it all. mmm freshman brien….so cute….

what is it with me and freshman? i mean there was brien. and then there was the one who i stalked for TWO FULL YEARS. well you have to hand to me the fact that he stopped being a freshman after that first year. although he did remain a strange dwarf throughout. did my weird midget fetish also escalate from that period, i wonder? i also wonder if i looked really hard if i could find the copy i made of SDK’s UPS college application (minus the essay, which always pissed me off. why didn’t they start saving those earlier? bastards.) that is hardcore my friends. stealing private documents even after i signed that skimpy piece of paper promising not to divulge any secrets nor to indulge my power trips. when will people learn not to trust my work ethic? when but only when?

once i was walking along to class from the SUB up past whatever that hall was called (holy crap i’ve forgotten some of the names. i worked in that building for like 2.5 years and now i can’t even remember what it was called. moan, i miss college) anyway. walking. and he was walking in front of me to somewhere else and i totally followed him. even though he was not going where i wanted to go. i hung back. i paused. i pretended to be searching for things in my bag. whatever. i almost followed him right into the library. but i stopped myself at that point and turned around to go back to my building.

then another time, marina and i were leaving the library and walking around the back to her car and he was sitting at those new desks they had installed in the front windows. and he was totally watching us (i think by this point my stalkerish behavior had been noted), and marina and i were giggling while i attempted to convince her that we should most definitely not walk back in there and say hi. but she escaped my confining grasps all the same and waved at him big and cheerily from right there outside. i was mortified. he waved back. i drug marina away and roundly berated her all the way home. and then some more.

things got better. we were sort of one a first name basis. even though i could never call him by his real name so avoided the subject altogether generally. there was even a point where hugging became ok. he came to my house in california once over spring break when we were all down here visiting. i gave him some of my bookcases when i moved out and left tacoma, i even inscribed the undersides of the shelves with slogans such as “SDK all the way!” and “the FAK is back!” and then he went and had a “religious experience” with johnny’s girlfriend for which i still haven’t forgiven him. even though it was the summer after i had left. maybe he was sad. but most likely it had nothing to do with me whatsoever. whatsoever.

so. here today you get a picture of erica, astroturf, and jolie. and a long complex, and possibly boring, story about my favorite stalkee.