April 21, 2003 by

return from the eastern shore


Categories: General

well here i am back again. prepared to write a helluva long entry about my trip to jersey. if you now ask me how the trip was i am going to refuse to tell you and only point at this webpage. so read it and like it or don’t question me about the trip.

flight there. not bad. i get on the plane, immediately the pilot says there’s a thunderstorm in denver (layover) and it will be all bumpy. whatever though it was not bad. the flight back on the other hand….but i get ahead of myself.

tuesday night i got in, jason and i collapsed on my bed in the porn filled uncle/aunt room on the third floor of spooky house next door (by considerable distance of some miles) to the spooky brook golf course, and “talked” for like 3 hours. ha ha. just kidding. we really did just talk.

wednesday, jason went to work from like 2-6 and i bummed around reading and watching porn/a knight’s tale. immediately upon jason’s return we ran over to borders and bought the family guy on dvd. and then stole one of those sticky plastic ads for harry potter and the chamber of secrets off the door. jason did that. fucking klepto. admittedly i put him up to it. and then we went to the MALL. and ate in the FOOD COURT. and saw bulletproof monk. hwee.

thursday he went to work again and i did the same thing again as above. but then when he came home we went and tried to find the spooky cemetery with the spooky dollhouse of lizzie eckel. no such luck. possibly one of the gravestones was hers, but the lettering on a lot of the ones still standing upright was kind of worn away. and there wasn’t any dollhouses there. depressing. fucking cretins.

but then we went to look for the egg-o-mat. and found a big pile of dirt. fucking developers.

and then we went out to dinner and watched more family guy.

friday, we went to the metropolitan museum of art, walked thru central park, out to dinner, and saw the play, ‘the play what i wrote.’ directed by kenneth branagh (no where did i see him at ny point) starring some british doods and the guy who does the voice of dobby the house elf in harry potter and the chamber of secrets and with a special guest star in the second act. our special guest star was JASON BIGGS!! ha ha ha ha!!! i was so fucking close to him! i could have touched him. at one point he almost kicked me in the head. he also smiled at me. right at me! jason biggs! and then he was in a dress and wig and being a cheerleader for robespierre and he chanted, “be aggressive!” and i almost lost it right there in the front row! jason biggs! it was funny because they were acting like it was going to be ian mckellen and jason and i were so excited but then it was jason biggs and i was still pretty fucking excited. as jason agreed, “at least it wasn’t roger moore.” a mechanical rat zoomed off the stage and into jason’s lap and he squealed like a girl at one point. the two main guys picked on me in the beginning and asked me to think of a number between 85 and 87. they spit on jason a bunch although i managed to avoid the spittle. it was fucking sweet. jason biggs. hot-to-tot-to-to!

saturday we drove all over new jersey looking at victorian book store houses, funny accoutrements, and hippies. we got serenaded in hippieville at phoenix books by some new age crazy woman. i bought an absurd amount of books (what else is new?) and we had tasty dinner on the canal at lili’s.

then we came back to the suburban desolation of jason’s relative’s colonial manor and went to see holes. before which there was a preview for pirates of the caribbean. holy crap. fucking sweet.

went to bed at 1, got up at 3:30, flew home from 6-10am with a 3 hour time difference. the first plane got surrounded by cop cars before leaving the terminal and two guys got taken off and then let back on because they were a case of mistaken identity. then the engine made funny noises and they had to change planes in chicago to continue on to kansas city. the second plane had wheel and door issues and i was forced to endure watching drumline again. fucking planes. fucking drumline. fucking still tired.

all in all i had a great trip. i hung out with jason, i came THIS CLOSE to being kicked in the face by jason biggs, i bought books, i watched lots of family guy, and i survived all the flights. i have lots of pictures, which i will be putting up today after work when i get home. so check back on that later.

9 Responses to return from the eastern shore

  1. cody

    You should have grabbed his shoe! If Jason was a true klepto…But seriously, Jason Bigg’s shoe would be the most famous article of clothing any of us own.

    btw, Heath Ledger (sp?) is in a quaint series on the SciFi channel called Roar…it looks pretty cheesey, but I would eat a pound of mozzarella for Heath’s undies!

  2. michele

    mmmm mozzarello…

    but the shoes were ugly costume shoes for the play not his real shoes. he did have a nice dressing gown on at the beginning. and he did give me an unparralleled view of his crotch (clothed, sadly) by sitting directly in front of me on stage on a chair with his knees spread.

  3. jason

    Lies! Every bit of it, lies! There were no delicious dinners! No airports or book stores!

    Your taste for invention consumes you.

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