i learned many fun facts this evening of debauchery. fun tidbits which i will now share here.
1. the make-out room makes really strong drinks. like seriously crazy strong. i had one rum and coke and was pretty damn drunk. admittedly i had only eaten one bagel today. but still. erica fared no better, but also hadn’t eaten.
2. matt peed on the street again. but not tonight.
3. talking about oral sex in front of your parents is ok if you’re a stand-up comedian. i decided to try it when i got home.
me: so mom, the other day this guy was licking out my pussy…
mom: must have gotten a hairball.
me: (pause) well, i do try to keep it nicely groomed, so i don’t know…
mom: well, i know her fur is very soft, but moo cow is still a cat.
me: uh, i think we’ve got our pussy wires crossed here.
4. if you have an angora rabbit DO NOT, under any circumstances, harvest its fur, make it into yarn, and create hats. this is just not something i’m prepared to accept. i put up with a lot of weird behavior from my friends, but if you give me a rabbit hat, i’m holding back my hair weave and spitting in your mouth.
5. the last sentence in #4 might make more sense if you watched ‘flavor of love’ on VH1. i haven’t watched it. erica and matt can do some truly *interesting* impressions from it though.
**no cats or rabbits were harmed in the making of this blog**
The very first time I performed stand-up in front of my parents, I think my last joke ended with, “I’ll be fuckin’ ye in the ass now, laddie!” Needless to say, my parents can no longer be fazed by my material. Plus anything that makes them think I’m not gay is reassuring to them.
Interesting? INTERESTING?!?!? Girl, let me tell you something. Right now, I’m puttin’ my ASS on pause. But, come next Friday, I’m FIXIN’ TO PRESS PLAY! And no, I will not spit. Because I have class…I watched it again this weekend. Guess what. It only gets better. Love! Who’s rootin’ for NEW YORK?!?!? 🙂
you still have it on TiVo? why did you not invite me over? pshaw, i’m putting your interesting on hold and fixing to move you down to orange. it’s a call home to your momma next, boy, and you know you don’t want that.
No, I don’t have it on TiVo anymore. I have it on DVD. You know what that means…it’s portable!!
yeah, let’s be honest, i don’t really want to watch it.