i have, of course, written previously about looking at strippers online. and, before, no one took any of my helpful suggestions. i have a sneaking suspicion that i will be blockaded this time around too. or cockblocked. you know, something rude. first these stupid boys ask for my help and then they have no follow through. i put in all this work! making spreadsheets of cost analysis and picking out the cream of the stripping crop. and all this work? it is for naught! they can’t afford this bachelor party! and they’ll probably refuse to let me come along! again! fucking boys! i am so pre-emptively angry because it’s 3am and i’ve been making a spreadsheet!
who, you might be wondering, am i doing all this work for. it is for chris r., anthony/(chovy)’s younger brother, who’s getting married sometime in june. tony is the best man. but tony is also the best ADD man. thus, my brother is somehow the default best man. why isn’t curtis the best man? he’s chris’ best friend. whatever. with my brother being DBM, i have become the actual organizer.
i am currently on a mission to convince them to get 3 strippers for 3 hours, charter a yacht in the bay for 3 hours and have it include dinner, an open bar, and gambling. rent cars and pay me and someone else to be the chauffeurs and rent a hotel suite to end up in after the cruise and get more drunk in and then pass out. my current total for all these expenses is $5,640.00.
…the fact that i reached this number with a spreadsheet totally makes it more palatable, right? urgh, i’m going to bed.
wow. that sounds like a great party, but could they afford it?
um, you said they couldn’t right there in the first paragraph. sorry, it’s stupid in prague today.
huh. it would actually be only $282 each. now while that is pretty damn expensive, it’s not completely prohibitive. and maybe tony’s parent’s will contribute extra money or something for this. 6 hours of sleep has restored my confidence!
Your stripper spreadsheet sounds suspiciously like a bachelor party killer app.
bite your tongue. it’s not much of a spreadsheet. it just lists things (hotel, car, boat, strippers) and then how much they cost and then has a total at the bottom.
goddammit, it is sort of like a killer app.