basic plot: scarlett johannsen gets an insubstantial visitor–the ghost of a dead reporter–while in the magic disappearing box of splendini, played by woody allen. she then goes on quest to follow up the ghost’s scoop of the century–the identity of the ‘tarot card killer’, who may or may not be peter lyman, the son of lord lyman, played by hugh jackman.

it’s rather distressing watching scarlett johannsen channel woody allen. especially when she’s standing next to him and he’s also talking. it turns out she’s best when she has one word lines because she can’t actually deliver them in a woody manner then.

though you get them exchanging lines like:

SJ: stop telling people i sprang from your loins.

WA: did you accomplish anything besides a possible pregnancy?

hilarious.

hugh jackman does not play woody allen. it’s probably because he’s too hot. he does however react in an unfeigned manner when woody allen tells him that scarlett, his “daughter”, once dressed up as petunia pig for a masked ball. a delighted snort of laughter = adorable.

some elements of the movie were a delightful surprise: scenes on charon’s boat, giles’ cameo, and a smart car appearance. plus, of course, the petunia pig line.