Indecision is a quality that I despise. So it’s with no small amount of grief that I’m trapped in a battle with it right now. I’m like a teeter-totter swayed on one side by cute kitten and on the other by my undefined future. The question before my hated indecisiveness is whether or not to adopt one of my foster kittens.
These are goddamn cute kittens, let me tell you. Also, I had to bottle-feed them. Which, since they’re kittens you would not think could create such a mother-child bond; but this is a fucking bond right here.
A couple weeks ago my mom cut a comic out of the newspaper in which a woman was turning down a man’s advances. “It’s not you,” comic woman said, “It’s me. I’ve got to focus on my cats right now.”
I know how pitiable that statement is. I can still recognize my horrifying descent into aged spinster cat lady. But maybe it’s time to just give in and accept this inevitable fate. Like an old person and grey hair, you know? Accept defeat gracefully.
This platitude would have more power if I even knew what color my hair is under the dye. Sadly, this is a revelation I have concealed from myself for years.
Addendum: I wrote the above yesterday, but today I’m not getting another kitten, so don’t panic. My indecisive teeter-totter is over now and the kittens are probably being adopted by lovely people in Walnut Creek as I write this. I am jealous of those people, but hopefully I’ll get over it in time.