“the government announced today that it is changing its emblem to a condom because it more clearly reflects the government’s political stance. a condom stands up to inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a punch of pricks, and gives you a sense of security while you’re actually being screwed. damn, it just doesn’t get more accurate than that!”

if you actually knew my aunt dorothy this would be a whole hell of a lot funnier. she’s this little tiny old woman who lives in new mexico and wears bulky turquoise jewlery, hair in a bun, and is about 5 feet tall. she’s also a fantastic photographer and has incredibly intelligent and wierd children. but that’s besides the point. the point is that she forwarded an email about condoms and the gov’t to my mother. fiesty.