once upon a time i had a different webpage. this was before gene got cementhorizon to work and we were all making do the best way we could. and on that page one day i decided to have a haiku contest. the amount of boredom that i was suffering in my job at that point knew no bounds. so haiku contest, ok? and for the contest aspect of it i thought that we should have some sort of a prize for whoever we judged the winner to be. and i made two polls, one for best haiku and one for the prize so people could vote fairly. it ended up being less than fair admittedly when i gave myself 10,000 votes and laughed in the face of everybody’s outrage. but whatever. you know what?–honestly the old page has nothing to do with this post because not only did erica not even submit a haiku, she didn’t win the poll either since i did by dint of copious cheating. and the prize was tied between the big ass trampline from sam’s club and a porn story to follow up ninjaporn. (holy crap. 95 people have voted on the ninjaporn poll. who the fuck has been reading that i wonder?) i was just SUPPOSED to make sure personal porn and erica won because i had already written a little something something and didn’t want it to go to waste.
the real point here is that erica asked for a porn story of her own involving michael rosensomething who plays lex luthor on the stupid superman smallville wb show. and i wrote one. possibly she did not mean for me to post it here. umm…possibly i shouldn’t post it here. CERTAINLY NONE OF YOU SHOULD READ IT. oh dood. it makes me seriously uncomfortable. 1)what was i thinking? 2)did i actually just give literary scope to erica’s breasts? 3)is that line about the sperm floodgates really necessary, (kristen)? but for whatever reason you like, possibly we should blame my need to have all literary efforts, even excessively personal ones, appreciated, i give you: PORN.
(click on the picture to download the word document.)
note. i put this up. i then took it down 2 hours later out of sheer embarresment. i am now putting it back up. i am still however horrified at myself. we shall see if it stays up longer than 2 hours this time. i don’t think anyone saw it last time. people are probably going to see it this time. moan. this is soooo not a good idea. don’t be offended. DON’T BE REPULSED. it’s ok. everything is going to be ok. note 2. erica totally said i could put it up. she really really did.
http://thewb.com/Shows/WithFeedback/0,9310,69707,00.html
tempting to print out and give to erica. tempting. life-size.
I thought the clitoris was traditionally the nub, not the nipple.
well that is why i called the nub the nub and the nipple the rosy aureole. umm unless i am mistaken in what i wrote. which could very well be as i am trying desperately to block those images from my head. (hi erica!)
Maybe I read it wrong.
I definitely think you should erica the poster. Its life size! how could you not?
she could press herself up against him. life size. and naked.
wow. when i made that silly quip about michele writing me my own porn so many months ago, i don’t believe i, or my areolas, knew what we were getting into. goodness! (she says in prudish horror)
p.s. hi marina! =) how does one “erica the poster”?
i think she meant “give erica the poster.” as in “give erica the finger” or “give erica the penis,” you know. whichever you prefer.
goodness!
=P
maybe you could write porn screen plays…
i’m not sure, but i’m thinkin’ that wouldn’t be a boring job.
i’m thinking i might be a leeetle too disgusted by it. writiing porn doesn’t really equal liking porn.
http://www.craigslist.org/sfo/eby/wri/6629935.html
if only such a large part of this job didn’t involve using the phone, i could probably do it. ha!
Props! Good porn. Man Erica, you sound really good in bed. I most enjoyed your “saucy”ness.
That Lex Luthor had it coming though, being all evil and all.
Again, props.
-G
thanks… i think. i don’t know, can you take props for being saucy in someone else’s mind?
leave me the props. the props will be mine. you can have the bald head. i can have the “props.”
=P