michele

there are ferret cages in my front yard as i type this. they appear to be moving in TODAY. sob.

one night in santa barbara we went to this restaurant called chef karim’s which is moroccan food. and shit was it ever tasty with the 5 courses and the orange water poured over your hands. these people went all out i tell you. i had these shrimps which were all garlic and spicy for the main course. of course, by the time the main course was served i was already stuffed on soup, bread, hummus, eggplant mash, and this vegetable pastry honey thing. plus there were bellydancers that came out at two separate times and undulated all over the floor. so i was full on that too.

at the end of the meal (here comes my shining moment) chef karim was out serving us some tea and he was speaking in some french and nuala was speaking in some french and he asked if i wanted more and i said, “pas pour moi” and he was so delighted. but not as delighted as me. girlish shrieking! i am SO easily amused.

you know that show i was talking about in the previous post? the one based off the cartoon hana yori dango? and how it was over $100 and i was itching to buy it but restraining? i found it for $60 and my restraint deserted me.

if i hadn’t been keeping exclusively to my house and tv room before this, i sure as hell will be now. good-bye cruel world.

p.s. funeral update: i got guilt-tripped 3rd hand by my uncle david who told my mom that i was the only grandchild that didn’t make an appearance. even though one cousin came all the way from kuwait on military leave. turns out this was a lie as at least 3 other cousins didn’t come. one of them admittedly is in the peace corps in austria, another is in the coast gaurd in oregon, and the 3rd is doing doctor training in colorado. i, on the other hand, am doing nothing in california. so my excuses are hardly beneficial to the human race.

i picked up adam at the airport last night though and it was fun hearing him talk about these cousins who i swear to god are all under 10 years old but it turns out they’re like 18 and 21. fucking freaky. and now he’s thinking of moving there too. to pennsylvania. that is so far away! i don’t want him to go so far away.

this week my sole remaining grandparent died. that’s kind of depressing. i mean, originally you’ve got 4 of them which is pretty exciting. there’s love, and presents, and shirts that say, ‘i *heart* my grandma!’ but then they start dying off and you’re like, ‘hey wait a second what’s up with this shit?’ even at the age of 2 i managed to say that. actually i have no idea how old i was when my first grandfather died. i might not even have been born yet which means i would have been at a serious disadvantage coming into the world with only 3 grands. which admittedly will also be the case for any children i might have, assuming whoever i have them with has his/her full quotient.

my first grandmother died when i was in 7th grade. i remember this accurately because i was in mr. spo’s class at valley view when my mom came to take me home. i loved this grandmother. she was my mom’s mom. but you know what i did when i found out? i cried. but not from sadness. i was PISSED. because it was october and almost kristen’s birthday and i had planned this huge surprise party and now i was going to miss it. and at the funeral i watched john cry and handed him kleenex in consternation. there was no point in being sad i felt since obviously nana had been very sick and in a lot of pain and she was much better off now. then i ate these really tasty rolls which were slightly doughy and drenched in butter.

the summer after i graduated college i was driving down to my aunt’s house to spend the night before going all the way home to california and when i pulled up in her driveway my mom came out of the house. this was startling because she wasn’t supposed to be there. and she came to my door and i was convinced something terrible had happened to adam or my dad or one of my cats or aunt mary or john or james. so i was surprised when in fact what had happened was that my second grandfather had died and we then had to stay in oregon for a month cleaning his house. at first it was kind of fun because everyone was there and one of my uncles got married the week after the funeral. but then it dragged on and on and there was just more paper and more dust and i wanted to leave so bad. it was sad too, of course because i was a little older and understood more what was lost. but again the man was old and didn’t even have his own stomach anymore.

so now this week the last grandmother has died. she’s been living in pennsylvania all my life and i’ve been living in california. so i’ve seen her very infrequently. you could say that my caring level about most of my dad’s side of the family is very low since for the most part i don’t know any of them. i know like maybe three or 4 of his brothers and sisters. (there’s 10 of them.) and i know maybe 6 of the first cousins well enough to talk to. (there’s like 150 cousins total. including the second and third generations and great aunt and uncles’ offsprings.) so when my mom told me that she had died, i was basically unconcerned. it’s not going to affect my life in any way whatsoever after all. but then about an hour later the realization struck that now i am grandparentless. and that is a little harder to reconcile with.

we sent adam off as an emissary to the funeral. it assuages family feeling without my mom and i actually having to attend. which works out quite perfectly for us. plus, adam wanted to go. he knows a lot more of that family than i do. and will get to hang out in philadelphia with our cousin dj predominantly. plus mom paid for his ticket and gave him cash to play with.

she also gave me cash to play with as a balancing gesture. i really didn’t deserve it but who am i complain. now i can live it up in SB with the girlies this weekend. this would work better if i hadn’t already spent $50 of it on anime last night. at least i restrained from purchasing a taiwanese drama’s first season for $110. i don’t know how long i can hold out though. i REALLY want it. it’s based off this anime show called hana yori dango (boys before flowers) which i do own and is very entertaining. if you’re me. which i am.

just so we’re clear. yes, i am aware that this post started out being maudlin and about dead grandparents and then ended up being about anime and horrible asian tv shows. but this is me we’re dealing with. and this is what i am.

i found this on the desk today (the desk i put together and gained hideous blisters for). could it be true that they’re expanding the girl’s clothing line? is this the first step towards revolution? the webpage reflects nothing of the kind, but i don’t think it’s been updated since 2002. anyway, here’s to hoping.

ducky, today you turn old. not just older, but old. how old are you now? 24? like the rest of us old fuckers. soon you’ll be thirty. (in 6 years. that was helpful in case you’re so old you can no longer do math in your head. i don’t know why this kind and considerate birthday post has suddenly turned deranged and vicious. and also i don’t know who i am to talk since i’m closer to being 25 than you by quite a bit. holy crap. 25. that’s so old.)

we’ve known one another since 9th grade. that’s not quite half our ages, but it’s close. (michele- stop talking about being old.)

i kind of knew you in middle school too though since when i would call kristen’s house during girl scout meetings you were inevitably there and hence, a presence, albeit remotely, in my life. it all went downhill from there though. or uphill. since soon we will be over the hill (16 years).

i made an effort to go thru my europe journals and my europe photo albums for potentially embarrassing photos or captions about you. but then i started looking at my circus people book and realized it had all been done before. so then i started going thru my old emails to see what you had to say for yourself. but nothing there was quite right either. although once in answer to the question, “do you eat the stems of broccoli?” you answered, “sure if it’s there” which i feel is an adequate summation of your entire life and our friendship. because you will always eat the gross vegetables that i must fling from my plate in disgust. it’s good to have friends.

so, sources exhausted, i sat down to write this dedicatory post with no inspiration other than my love for you. that quickly deteriorated into sarcasm and abuse against old people. obviously i am a flawed individual. but you’re not. you’re a duck, cause you’re not a duck at all. and that is a-ok.

in the immortal words of some french carnies, “french kiss? strip tease?” i’m coming down in 3 days and i am going to be french, fraggling, and demanding. so prepare. limber that tongue and practice your moves. i’m pretty sure at least that I can beat YOU at pool.

hey, i love you ducks. and i can’t wait to see you!

love,

mupps

p.s. that comic has nothing to do with you. if you were ice cream, i would never hit you with a baseball bat. because i love ice cream just like i love you.