Categotry Archives: General

in preparation for the knock-down, drag-out fight i know is coming this saturday at the CH birthday bash, i’ve been taking instruction from some of the punk high school girls i work with. yesterday at the library, they showed me the many, many scars on their knuckles from punching other girls in the face who had braces. now, former friends, aren’t you glad none of us has metal teeth straighteners? no one has to get permanently marked here. let’s all remember that when the fists start flying.

for five years now i’ve been lying. for i am an evil care bear deciever (which you would understand if you too had endured the ridiculous ghost rider movie). the thing is that i don’t even like sushi. raw fish? that’s disgusting.

in retribution for this five year long deception, come to the CH 5 year birthday party and punch me in the face. see you there.

WHEN: Saturday, February 24, starting 8pm

WHERE: the Castro, San Francisco. email rsvp at cementhorizon.com for the exact address.

more info in previous post here.

the whales may have been going to mate in baja, but some of the dolphins mated right in front of us.

pictures of me, sean, gene, kristen, and nuala whale watching (for free!) in santa barbara here.

yesterday i met a hot fireman at the local safeway.

“hey.” he said to me in the checkout line.

“um. hi?” i replied while fixated on the 40s he held in his hands. was he going to drink it all? on duty? what if he tried to put a fire out with his pee? his pee-pee might explode!

fido

roxie

2/18

7pm

http://www.sfindie.com/site/node/84

Welcome to Willard, a small town lost in the idyllic world of the 50s, where the sun shines every day, everybody knows their neighbor, and domesticated rotting zombies carry the mail. Thanks to ZomCon’s patented domestication collar, zombies make excellent gardeners, milkmen, servants, even pets.

Timmy Robinson is an awkward loner who spends so much time in his room even his own parents don’t notice him. So when Mom (Carrie-Anne Moss, “The Matrix”) buys the titular zombie (Billy Connolly) to help around the house, Timmy is surprised when the beast wants to play catch. When the zombie saves him from the local bullies, a true friendship is born, and Timmy names him “Fido.”

But when his collar goes on the fritz, the neighbors start paying the ultimate price. To complicate matters, ZomCon’s notorious zombie-control specialist has moved in across the street. What begins as a small town story about a boy and his best friend becomes a biting satire about our world, the price of fear, and the rewards of risking love.

forgiving the franklins

roxie cinema

2/20

7pm

http://www.sfindie.com/site/node/306

Forgiving the Franklins is the sometimes hilarious, sometimes tragic story of a repressed God-fearing southern family who undergo a radical spiritual change, putting them at odds with the conservative values of their community. The Franklins are a stereotypical North Carolina family: Frank is a lawyer, Betty is a homemaker, and the high school-age kids Caroline and Brian are a cheerleader and a football star, respectively. An auto accident turns their world upside down—in a state somewhere between life and death, Frank, Betty and Brian meet Jesus who, for reasons known only to himself, removes them from the burden of Original Sin. Left out of the equation is Caroline who, in the throes of adolescence and pain from her injuries, must figure out why her family has suddenly embraced their repressed sexuality.

at the high school, students are taking the california exit exam. unlike my job in the library, this is not akin to a porn video. it could be because it’s too early for porn. how can it be too early for these kids and thier hot-running libidos?

good morning, kids, where are your hormones? check them at the door! and turn off your cell phones!

luckily i’m being paid 2.25 as much as i make to watch the asian twins in the library after school. this, in case you’re interested, means i’m making $25/hour to sit in a chair and watch for exam cheating. a cushy duty? perhaps. though this chair is quite uncomfortable.

(oops, just had to yell at a kid, no ipods while test-taking, punk!)

i swear that kid is over 6 feet tall. his feet are enormous! is it wrong of me to consider their feet? is it foolhardy of me to write this down ON school grounds? yes and yes, friends. but if CAHSEE isn’t going to give me porn, then i’m going to make it.

it’s cementhorizon’s 5th birthday this month! which means that it’s pretty much nyataimori’s 5th birthday too. and it’s certainly my actual 28th birthday (not that we’re celebrating that). let’s not mention it again. fucking 2 years till 30.

THE PARTY INFO

WHEN: Saturday, February 24, starting 8pm

WHERE: the Castro, San Francisco. RSVP to rsvp@cementhorizon.com for the exact address.

what there will not be:

– food

– drinks

what there will be:

– A CH birthday cake (thus negating that no food thing above. there’s not going to be any other food though. don’t get ideas above your station.)

– A new, improved photo booth

– A chocolate fountain (which may or may not remain hygenic) from I Fought the Law

– Superstar bloggers wandering the party signing autographs

– CH-themed jello shots provided by me (thus negating that no drink thing above. this doesn’t apparently count though because of the jiggly wiggly.)