Categotry Archives: General

and the final entry in film festival season is upon us: the international film festival. where mostly what i want to see is asian films so it’s much like the asian film festival. good times. if you’re interested in seeing any of the following or anything else that strikes your fancy in their line-up, let me know. i am always looking for film festival friends. especially since i’ve edited this list down from the 37 movies i first chose. there are definitely a lot more movies i’d love to see. i mean, there’s a documentary on al franken’s book tour, pornography from japan and taiwan, a doc on jonestown, a japanese movie about an old gay rest home, a movie with shu qi, carthusian monks, giant buddhas, heart transplants, a film by zwigoff with the other writer from ghost world, and cockbyte.

Princess Raccoon

Wednesday April 26, 9:30pm, Castro

starring zhang ziyi as a tanuki (uh…it’s a raccoon in japanese myth who can turn into a woman to lure travellers) there’s singing and dancing and a love story.

Executive Koala

Friday 28, 10:30pm, Kabuki

a japanese businessman with the head of a koala working for the rubbles pickles factory. i mean, HELLO, this has the most brilliant premise ever. KOALA-HEAD. plus, it’s compared in the description to the happiness of the katakuris. the best japanese musical about murdering mayhem ever.

Solo Dios Sabe

Sunday 30, 8:45pm, Kabuki

diego luna. DIEGO LUNA, PEOPLE.

Prairie Home Companion

Thursday 4, 7pm, Castro

robert altman’s latest picture. need more be said?

5. after very little work i found a slightly embarrassing photo of him on the web.

4. he totally snitched the ‘right stuff’ rule to me.

3. he happily cheated at munchkin at my urging.

2. he’s irrepressible.

1. he called me a whore to my face. and we’ve only met twice!

Convincing Danny to get a monkey instead of a dog

This endeavor actually met with very little success unless you count me getting laughed at as a rousing win on the side of righteousness. But come on, let’s all be honest here and split our farts* how would having a monkey improve Danny’s life? I think the answers are immeasurable. But to name a few: a monkey could be trained to use the toilet. We train children, and monkeys are like small children. Dogs would have a harder time balancing on top of the toilet. Next, the monkey can be trained to hoard his poo and throw it at people that you don’t like. People this might include: anyone passing by, MySpace Tom (he’s not our friend), or a landlord (not Christine). Danny expressed some skepticism for how the monkey would be trained to fling his poo. Now personally I am relatively assured that the monkey would just naturally take to poo flinging and poo smearing as a logical progression of the entire bowel movement process. This is Darwin-esque, people. However, I also promised that I would be more than happy to come over and squat a bit and show the monkey how it’s done. Danny responded to this suggestion by falling off his chair and refusing to ever invite me over, never ever.

Claudine totally fell for the monkey idea. Admittedly she agreed to it before learning of the poo smearing campaign the monkey would soon be undertaking.

Convincing Carolyn to let me wear Octopod on my head

This was actually twice successful. Not bad for an evening. An evening where I can claim to have worn an octopus (or an octopussy) on my head is always a stellar event.

Discovering that Christine is now my default best friend in the Bay Area

Also apparently the Maverick to my Goose. She’s already set us up with “dates” for next Friday at the Two Gallants show. I could grow to like this boy-acquiring-and-sharing new best friend. Kristen never gave me a boy. Well, that’s not true. Kristen never gave me a boy I liked. I’m sort of convinced the boy Christine is giving me is gay though, so I might be dropping her best friend status to stabber in the back rank on Saturday morning.

Discussing my burgeoning life of crime trading chinchillas (legal) for ferrets (illegal) and cocaine (really illegal)

…Seriously, do you want some cocaine? Or pot candy? I can at least do pot candy.

* if you watched as much Japanese anime as me you’d recognize this as a reference. In Japan there’s a phrase which translates to “split our guts”. Which, rather than implying seppuku, actually means to speak openly/honestly. But if you change the pronunciation of one kanji it can change to “split our farts” which means nothing and also sounds disgusting. But possibly endearing if you’re an 11 year old anime girl trying to talk earnestly to your male counterpart.

4 trailer trashy (3 obese, one skinny) individuals just came over and took away our chinchillas. i’m convinced they’re going to breed them and make them into coats. also that they’ll overfeed them and they’ll die young. the myriad of ways i’m imagining the fuzzy little cuties dying right now is just overwhelming.

my horrified reaction to these people is predicated on their demeanor and comments while in our house. the favorite being when the fat man pointed at the pole across an arch and commented, “that pole should go from the ceiling to the floor, you know. that’s how they do it on jerry.”

was he seriously advocating that i start pole-dancing? that i turn my house into a strip club? i don’t think so, fat man.

they play KENO, for fuck’s sake. and they live in PITTSBURG.

tyler: michele has a vagina!

me: …

ellie: that’s right, tyler-bear, michele does have a vagina.

me: … !

ellie: we’re learning about penises and vaginas right now.

me: he’s two!

tyler: boys stand up to pee, girls sit down.

me: two!

ellie: babies gone wild!

tyler: babies gone wild!

me: ok, when you say it, pull your shirt up.

ellie: (snort)

me: where’s your belly, kid? show me your belly.

tyler: babies gone wild!

i find it unlikely, but just in case any of you CH people want 2 chinchillas. i’m looking to give them away.

more pictures here

it’s now the time of the asian american film festival. wouldn’t you like to see some films of japanese girl rockers, singing colma residents, dogs and horses? with me? come on, i’ll be your friend!

movies i want to see:

citizen dog

where: castro theatre

when: march 17th (friday), 7pm

why: what better way to spend st. patty’s day? well, getting drunk might be better, but we could do that afterwards.

who: gene, christine, and i

eve and the fire horse

where: kabuki 8

when: march 20th (monday), 7:30pm

why: i have a sneaking suspicion that it will be just as cute with the kids as millions. except with girls instead of boys and chinese instead of irish.

who: kristen and i

colma: the musical

where: kabuki 8

when: march 21 (tuesday), 9pm

why: um, hello, it’s set in COLMA and they SING.

who: sean, jason, and i

linda linda linda

where: kabuki 8

when: march 22 (wednesday), 9:30pm

why: an all-girl japanese punk rock band. could i be more delighted? or in lust? i think not. especially considering the fact that they’re HIGH SCHOOL girls.

who: candy, rachel, and i