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the funny thing is that i seem to always keep parts of my life a secret. i like secrets. i was also nervous to write about this here because 1) it felt a little too unreal to be true and speaking of it would have either popped it like a bubble or made it all too true and i don’t think i was ready for either of those possibilities. 2) i wasn’t sure if my cohorts knew of this page’s existence/read it at all and didn’t want to say anything in case it backfired on me for some reason. but now i realize that it is real and it might be happening and i can write about it here if i want as long as i don’t use anyone’s full name to confound search engines.

last year i took a class online on film theory thru this co-operation between ucla, the austrailian national film school, and some british film school conglomerate. it was fun and i wrote papers and watched films and did a lot of discussing on message boards and in the weekly chat room. some of this i have written about before on sushi.

anyway, within this class i hooked up with 3 other students to form a production company called S22. we’ve been meeting in chat rooms once a week since to talk about business, financing, scripts, directors, acting talent, etc. and now, NOW, we have a book turned into a screenplay, an interested british director, potentially 3.5 million dollars, and maybe, MAYBE, this man.

i’m still holding out for jomathan rhys meyer for one of the main roles, but everyone else is skeptical since he is supposedly “big” now. bah. he is indie, foreign big, not US big and if you’re not US big you’re still gettable in my opinion. …hmm apparently he’s going to be in an adaptation of ‘vanity fair’ with reese witherspoon. the man is on the cusp of bigness, dammit.

i am ashes, i am jesus…

last night hanging out in the city with the “rice,” she and her jason we’re telling the rest of us a story about this kid named brian who fancies himself a wine connoisseur. apparently he goes around talking about wine constantly and very pompously and (shock) bought a wine rack. one story involved him knowledgeably relaying the breathing needs of a good bottle of red. white wine having less surface area (note unfounded fact here) than red doesn’t need to breathe. but red wine should be uncorked prior to drinking and allowed a little space to clear the lungs.

this story reminded me of the christmas that i spent in london in 1998. my father spent most of the morning convincing whitlow that the can of cranberry spherical jell-o thing needed to be opened a good thirty minutes before dinner was served so that it could take in sufficient air to be edible. whitlow fell for this. but then proceeded to forget the crucial task when the time was upon him. so we all sat down to dinner. and my father let out a bellow about the missing ingredient of the spread. whitlow immediately panicked and apologized profusely and felt awful about spoiling the entire proceeding due to the grossly out of breath cranberry blob. the rest of us, unaware that such wacky falsehoods were being propagated on this day of our lord and savior were a trifle confused. but once the situation was explained we laughed like hyenas at the dumb wit of our friend whitlow. and then we exploded all our crackers and wore our paper crowns and had a jolly pudding. good times.

perhaps i should explain my mary kate and ashley olsen fascination a little. (no you shouldn’t! just back away from the subject! this idea is a bad idea and bad ideas lead to bad things! ahhh! bad bad bad!)

i don’t really know why it came about that i even ordered ‘so little time’ vol 1. from netflix. i think i was vaguely interested. and i think i was sparked on by just the huge conglomeration those two little girls have created. and i said to myself, “self, see what it’s all about. watch a little mk/a o. don’t live in the horrific darkness of ignorance.” little did i know at the time how much darker my life would become after seeing them act. plus the whole shitty dialogue thing. and the enormously stereotypical latin american maid-man. but oh doods. the clothes and the hair and the silly stupidity soooo almost made up for it. certainly those shallow 15 year olds convinced me to sit in front of the television for 5 whole epsisodes until 3 in the morning. (marina only made it thru 2. yes i forced the visiting marina to watch some of it with me. i think she was permanently scarred for life.)

a couple of weeks later i was feeling kind of nostalgic about the whole experience. and so i RENTED ANOTHER ONE. only this one was a feature length movie and they are pitifully younger and thus much less interesting to watch. plus it had the little moments of fading in and out where television commercials were originally. that is low, my friends. i mean. you know you’re pathetic when you’re watching made for tv movies with former cast members of full house starring as soccer athletes in a twin-switcheroo plot.

maybe i need an intervention. i don’t know. all i know is that i’m getting a third one from netflix. and i think it’s become an addiction.

believe me when i say that i am well aware that they are awful. but…just look at them… the looking at them part is so much fun….

i am sick and wrong. just so we’re all clear. sick and wrong.

the rest of my new year’s pictures are now up on eloise. so you can go check them out. and i spent beaucoups amount of time on the phone yesterday with gene wherein i was most definitely not ooey gooey listening to the mellifluous and refusing to allow him to get back to his funner activities. in point of fact i had to wait like half hour for him to call me back when i first contacted him when he was busy being a host. sigh. (don’t make sad face, gene! i’m not complaining, i really didn’t care. =) uhhh yeah so i got neck cricks yesterday attempting to learn how to upload pictures myself directly to eloise and when that failed i got inducted into fun computer nerd realm where gene told me what to type in creepy black screen with the weird words and the symbols and i sent pictures thru the ether (who knows how *that* works) to CH for him to get to and put up for me. so cool! i felt, briefly, like a hacker. with absolutely, mind you, no idea what i was hacking or how i was doing it. prompt! hash! mput! hmmm don’t laugh. i know i wasn’t actually haxoring. you know how i can tell? i can’t even write 4aXor correctly. i am in fact merely a sad loser whose brief brush with glory and fame on the start: run: command menu of ms dos prompt (old skool) created delusions of grandeur with johnny lee miller/angelina jolie epic showdown type action. ha ha ha! supposedly *real* hackers hate that movie. jacob told me that once. than again, other than all the cool things i know of that jacob has done, i’ve never really thought of him as a hacker. and those things, secret things, which he has done…dunno if those really count. maybe jacob is a fraud like me? j/k jacob. i’m sure you’re the og gangsta of the underground code world.

sooooo i’ve been wondering. which as you can tell, takes up all my time and makes it impossible for me to create actual posts cause the brain is too busy being with the thinking instead of the type-gushing. you know how i’ve got all these weird idiosyncratic paranoias about posting? the whole counter thing? and the irritation at sean’s blog being funnier than mine? and the possibility of kristen appreciating someone else’s blog and finding it more interesting than mine? right well. ok. due to the fact that locust is still on a different fucking time zone, i’ve almost gotten over the counter thing. and due to kristen ego-pumping me today i know that i am the bestest funniest cutest thing ever. and so my issue now is: if sean’s blog was funniest cause it didn’t have all the in-jokes and it was updated so infrequently–now that he updates all the time and has more in-jokes and i have been a lousy updater with, uh, still primarily texts composed of in-jokes–could it be true that now i am funnier than sean? was that question in itself really funny? oh ho ho ho ho, i think it was. goddammit. sean is still way funnier than me. and i hate that counter! and kristen is full of ego boosting manure! huff huff huff.

(and michele slides back into inert self-disgust.)

this is something that my cousin john is coercing me to post on my webpage. i do not feel good about it. i advise against going to look at it. it’s gross and it will haunt your memory for a long time to come. but if you’re feeling ultimately braver than me, you go right ahead on with your bad selves.

do not click here. seriously.

underwater fishies. cause what other kind are there? well there were those jumpy ones. but still…ok just look at the damn fish.

more turtle friends!

kim in hawaii pictures. the last one is all fucked up because my underwater camera developed a crack and water got in and made some of the pictures real funny-like. i kind of think it’s cool though. aw yeah.

ok so i have admittedly one roll of hawaii pictures left which haven’t been developed yet so you might have to wade thru some more of them. but too bad for you!

and here is some more of my smunched in car.

i am still working on the san diego ones. i don’t have the stupid cord which connects the digi and the computer. so eventually you can maybe see pictures of marina’s new place and jenny and scott bailey and so on. you know you all care. 🙂

hmm and so what else is new with me? well the season premeire of Buffy was AWESOME. oh so good. i was so happy. i mean…it was actually funny and had that funny joss whedon spark which has been oh so sadly lacking for so long. props to it. gilmore girls on the other hand was mucho upsetting what with the small jess part and what he was doing

during his tiny on screen time. ARGH! boy was i ever screaming.

tonight we (me, mom, adam, andrea [latest not even 21 ho-“friend” of my brother’s]) went to blowfish sushi for dinner. fucking ay but that place is some fantastic food. i even ate ostrich meat. it was wierd. tasted suspiciously like beef. but really good. and umm sushi and green tea cheesecake. i wanna go back! maybe for my birthday? or maybe just because.

speaking of sushi though, i went to onami again while i was in san diego. stuffed myself as per usual. and bemoaned the fact again that i no longer live close to a GOOD all you can eat sushi and that besides that “the eating factory” was evicted. not paying thier rent on time idjits. stoopid. or maybe they had too many cockroaches. but i would prefer not to think about that. (i just tried to make thier link work for a while, but it’s totally out of service. oh so sad. end of an era.) i can still remember reading that stupid in-flight magazine one of the many times i flew between seattle and oakland and ripping out the little ad with “the eating factory’s” info and then dragging everybody there, (not too hard admittedly). good times. in a word: delectable. but what was the word trevor used? ummm….”ravishing.” ha ha ha hooo-ee.

tomorrow: krispy kreme. it’s finally opened, kiddos. our own phill/concord kreme-y goodness. it is so close to my house. i am so delighted. i am going to get soo fat. moan.

me in hawaii!!!!!!!! MUAH HA HA HA HA!!!!

love you all lots. you should be getting postcards. some of you. who i have made up addresses for.