Nyotaimori

this morning i was sent down to the second floor to make TWO HUNDRED AND SEVENTY copies of a 43 page study guide thing. i of course only managed to make 72 copies before the paper started jamming like a mofo. so aggravating!

while i was uber-busy sitting there watching the copy machine do all the grunt labor, i read a book that came in the mail yesterday to our department. it is entitled, “The Inner World of the Immigrant Child” by Cristina Igoa. so maybe there’s just something wrong with me right now but this book which was just talking about teaching children who come to america from foriegn countries and how they have problems learning how to fit in was making me cry! in front of the copy machine! it wasn’t even particularly heart-wrenching. i was just feeling so badly for all these immigrant children and how they are lonely, solitary little beings who don’t get to play on the playground or speak english. simple, emotional prose is apprarently a sure-fire way to get under my skin. goddamm easy waterspout. ahem let me give you a few gristly passages to reflect on.

“While working with the children from war-torn countries, I recalled my own experience of dislocation from one country to another during wartime and empathized as they spoke or wrote about the horrors of war. I was born in the Philippines and was 5 years old when my family left the islands two months before the end of the World War II. Manila was still occupied by the Japanese when our entire family boarded a U.S. Army transport for the United States. Aboard ship, wartime regulations were in force. All the women and small children were confined to one side of the ship, the men to the other. We had constant drills on what to do in case of submarine or air attack. We were told not to throw pieces of paper over the side of the ship because the enemy might track our progress by seeing bits of paper floating on the water.” (5)

“Lonliness is the deep, deserted feeling that a person experiences when he or she feels different, alone, and separate. It is an inability to be in touch with one’s self–a feeling of disconnectedness. Sometimes, the deeper the loneliness, the more intense the sadness, unhappiness, and desire to find some connection with life or with oneself. Loneliness, said a little Filipino girl, is “a bear with no friends.” (54)

it’s almost that time again, kiddos. almost.

31-25 carry the 2, add the november, turkey days 5 finger drawing, multiply by the abstract of the halloween fright, third colum tally up tally ho(!)

seven days……seven days…..

yesterday i read my horoscope in the berkeleyan newspaper on the bus as i was traveling towards nuala for my ride home and it said:

the question of marriage looms large presently.

i shit you not.

but then today i discovered the following:

July 27, 2002 � Cecil and Michele G* of Farmington, a daughter, Bethany Marie.

so apparently i am in the clear. because not only am i married to someone named cecil, he took MY last name (pansy ass), i live in exeter (where the hell is exeter?), and i have a daughter named bethany marie. sch-weet. suck on that, relatives with the piggy eyes. suck on that.

i came to the decision this morning while hopped up on krispy kremes that i’m going to at least have to take a date to the wedding this summer. going with my mother to another wedding is just not going to cut it. even i’ve got standards.

when i went to see la boheme (my review here) on saturday, we (my mom, nuala, nuala’s mom rosemary), went out dinner with one of the ensemble cast members who is friend’s with nuala’s sister ady. and she liked my sugar shoes. (cause who doesn’t?) and made the all together startling and complimentary remark that catherine martin (baz luhrmann’s wife and the production/costume designer for his projects) would really like me. this was thrilling. i always wanted to be a clothing designer. i had a dream. and then i went and got an english degree. useless. fucking useless. and now i’ll probably get an english masters in 19th century british literature too. why? no good reason. well one good reason: just to write a paper about the pre-raphaelites and art/lit. it’s not a very good reason. but neither is going to the university of london simply to study and hear lectures under laura mulvey, one of the most brilliant film critics around these days in my opinion. what use will a masters or phd in film theory really be? REALLY?

in other news. moosers has a cold. she keeps sneezing. and making these whuffling noises and then snot comes out her nose. she is a snot machine. it’s kind of cutely gross. fuk-o also tried to kill fatus in the side yard yesterday morning but came out the worse for wear with his ruff all scragged and his claws broken. he is a defeated cock of the walk currently. but that didn’t stop him from trying to beat the shit out of my fatus again this morning. this is an unpleasant development.

and people think i’m charming? well, they just do. apparently.

ok so this morning i got an email from my cousin’s (john) girlfriend (katherine). in it the revelatory, and extremely unexpected, news of their forthcoming marriage was revealed. ok. marriage. i immediately was thrown into a giddy fright. DO ANY OF YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS?!?

1) weddings

2) children

3) the beginning of the end

john is the oldest cousin so it stands to reason that he should get married first. this i do not have a problem with. katherine is fantastic and i adore her, so the fact that she is the one joining the family i also do not have a problem with. my problem is that old though he may be, he’s still only like 25! and she is 2 years younger than me, which puts her at a whopping 21! this to me seems really really young to get married. admittedly, i never really had any doubts that they would get married eventually. but next summer?! that’s a little like a shot gun wedding! only…not really like one of those at all.

this means that adam is next. and then neal. AND THEN ME. i’m third in line now! third! i don’t even have a boyfriend! at least adam and EVEN FUCKING NEAL have girlfriends. sort of.

family pressure has now been upped. we’re all going to have to be spitting forth babies in record numbers by the time we’re 30. i’ve only got 6 years!

nuala recommended deep breaths. nuala is on crack! (no offense to any heroin junkies or nuala.)

deep breath. ok. so i’m really happy for them deep down. really, really happy. because they are a fucking adorable couple. seriously you should see them. it’s insane. and she’s even started reading the anita books. and you know she can’t be bad if you know what i’m talking about. but next summer…everything’s going to change. this christmas even. this christmas…where she will be…and we will all be…and all the aunt and uncles will be looking at my aunt mary jealously thinking of how she is gaining a super sweet daughter in law and the potential for grandchildren way sooner than them. and then their vicious little piggy (no offense to pigs or kristen) will turn on the rest of us and I’M THIRD IN LINE!

this is really just no good from my standpoint on myself at all.